My new favorite thing.... snuggling in the morning with the Plumber.. Burps new favorite thing?? Beginning at 5 am, starting softly, a continuous knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknock!!! Until I rip open the door for him to inform me that he's hungry. I remind him that he's 9... If you're hungry get something to eat. I tell him a list of things he can eat. I tell him, "I'll be up at 8, leave me alone." And he whines, "I just want a hug!" I hug him and send him on his way.
I climb back in bed and get snuggled up.
And a half hour later, we do it again.
This time I ask him if he'd like his hands broken?
He gives me a hug.
I climb back in bed and get snuggled up.
And a half hour later, we do it again.
This time I tell him I'm going to sell him on eBay.
He tells me he loves me and needs a hug.
I climb back in bed and get snuggled up.
And GUESS WHAT??? A half hour later...... we do it AGAIN!
This time I threaten to ground him to his room for the day. To ground him from tv and video games. This time I say, "I love you too, but no, this time you don't get a hug... You can have a hug, when I wake up at 8!"
I climb back in bed, and a half hour later... I don't even say anything, I stomp into the kitchen and I start the coffee pot. I growl and rumble at him. He chatters and talks all excited about some tv show we've both seen a million times and I try, politely, to ask him to leave me alone for a few minutes until I've had coffee. He leaves the kitchen for all of.... ohhh three minutes, and comes back more hyper than ever... and I banish him to his room for 15 minutes..... which is really only good for about 5.
I think I need to find some articles about the horrible things some horrible mothers do to their children and strategically place them around my house so he can see proof that I don't HAVE to be so nice about things. But in truth, that would probably backfire and make him even more determined to have continuous confirmation of my absolute adoration of him. The little brat!
.............. I suppose I can't end it like that. I do love him... but who wants to wake up like that? He's like a cracked out Chihuahua pumped full of Mountian Dew, a little less shaky.
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4 comments:
So really what you're saying is...
knock knock Mom!
knock knock Mom!
knock knock Mom!
Do what I do. Leave his breakfast and pills on the counter for him... with three snacks marked for specific times. 6:30am - 7am & 7:30am
Maybe a large bold sign on the door... with pictures... might be appropriate 9 year olds eaten at will before 9am - with mustard and ketchup (ya know he hates both of those things.)
And well really the snacks don't have notes on them with times, but it could happen.
hahahah... this morning, the Plumber even hooked him up with a bowl of cereal before he left for work... Didn't help.... Burp came in to tell me he'd gotten cereal... then several times there after to inform me he was still hungry.
I'm starting to think that Burp isn't the sperm donor's child at all and that you and I somehow bred. Your kid has my annoying habit of never shutting the Hell up.
Hmmmm, ignoring the fact that the bastard demanded a DNA test.. I'd say you might be on to something. Of course... You have had more influence on him and his life than the Donor ever has. Thank God!
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