Saturday, June 26, 2010


Funny how times just slips by.

Mom, I'm alive and well. Sorry I've been lazy about my blogging....

Updates, updates....

School is out. Burp spent the first few days pissed at me about the summer homework I've assigned. One full page of math and copying a page from the Kid's Encyclopedia. The first two days he bitched and argued, and the whole thing took him 2 hours and 25 minutes..... The next time he discovered that if he quit complaining the whole thing would take just barely over a half hour.. hahaha... he's one of those that always seems to have to learn the hard way. God I can't wait till the teen years.

Diva's Neurologist put her on an oral med to reduce the pressure in her brain. Our fingers are crossed. He said our best indicator of her progress would be the intensity and frequency of her headaches, which seem to be doing better. The best thing of all was that he apologized for just assuming that she'd been getting better... No more assumptions, which makes me say "Yay!" She has another appointment with the Eye Doc next week, and the Neuro Guy the next day. He did say that in the next few weeks Diva will have to go back in for another lumbar puncture, as that is the best diagnostic test for if she's truly getting better. If not, then it's off to Portland for surgery.

One of my bestest friends in the whole world is 32 weeks pregnant in Australia... Stuck in the hospital because of stupid contractions. Her Yammy Doc says she'll prob have to stay there until she delivers. That BLOWS!! I hate being half a world away. If I were there, I'd cook for your hubby and come play games with you!!! We could play Rummy to like a million!!! And poor Simon will probably only eat chili for the next 8 weeks.. lol Hang in there Xander! (I wanna see the otters too!)

As a matter of fact, it seems just about everyone I know is getting pregnant. Ash, one of my scouting friends, is about 6 weeks preg- which was a huge shocker.. Her hubby had testicular cancer a year ago and they told her his swimmers wouldn't we swimming for 2 years. Oops. One of Ben's friend's mom is preggers... and a few other ppl I know.... All of them are sick as shit, so I'm not TOO jealous. lol The wife of one of the Doctors I work with is preg with her 6th. (and they've adopted 2) They'll have 4 kids under the age of 4... He was so embarrassed, he didn't tell anyone she was preg again until she was 8 months... lol I might have contributed a name to this one. Camden. All of their kids have one name that is a town, city, whatever. I think I'd be happy not having more kids if I could just name a bunch. hahaha

Anyway, I'll try to get caught up on my Talk Thursdays and such later. I have to go for now. It's the K9 competition today... I gotta get moving!


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Diva's 7th Birthday

I know, I should be working on my Talk Thursday... but to be honest, every time I think of Fuzzy Navels... I just think of belly buttons. AND... I'm almost a week late on this.

Last Thursday was Diva's 7th birthday. Due to a shitty economy, her parents really couldn't afford to do much to celebrate. She really, really wanted a birthday party at a local pizza place, but it just wasn't an option for them. When Diva heard this, she was crushed... so I gave her a choice.. Maybe we could do another pizza and movie night at my house, and let all the kids make their own pizzas like last time. Instead, she wanted an ice cream party. OMG!!! It was so much fun!

I made cupcakes (cuz it isn't a birthday without some sort of cake) and then I bought several different kinds of ice cream and tons of toppings, ie. cans of aerosol whip cream, chopped nuts, sprinkles, chocolate syrup, and I even whipped up some fresh strawberries in glaze (yum). The parents thought I was crazy, but each kid got to put as much as they wanted of whatever they wanted on their ice cream. They had a blast! (because I throw the BEST kid parties EVER!!!)

She loved the gift from my mom, Burp, and I....

Mom, you have no idea how hard it was to find decals that would fit her tiny little nails, but I found them. Cute little butterflies in pink, silver, fuchsia, and sparkley.

It was a good day.

Yesterday, Diva helped me make ice cream sandwiches to take to Cub Scouts with Burp. I did a little spin on a treat my mom used to make when I was a kid. I mixed Cool Whip with strawberry yogurt and added some diced strawberries and wiched it between Snickerdoodle cookies. The kids taste-tested them at home... cuz, you know, we can't take poisoned treats to Cub Scouts. Needless to say, no one died, and they were, in fact, a big hit at home and at Scouts.... Unfortunately, people seemed to think that because they had yogurt, they were a "healthy" alternative.... WHATEVER!!

Yesterday, I went with Diva and her mother to her eye check up. She asked me to go because I'm not intimidated by doctors, I'll ask the good questions, and her husband is a schmuck. The eye doctor said the swelling of her ocular nerve was just as bad as it ever was and there is now a macular star, and hemorrhaging. The official diagnosis for what she has is papilledema. Hers seems to be idiopathic.
This is very similar to what the inside of her eye looks like.
 I borrowed this image from
The white arrow is a hemorrhage, hers is about 4 times that size and the green arrow indicates the macular star.
Actually, this seems like a good explanation of what's going on. In a nutshell, her brain is acting like she has a tumor and if we can't get it under control medicinally with in the next 6 weeks, she will have to have surgery. That surgery will have to take place up at OHSU. They will have to cut windows in the dura of her optic nerve sheath to relieve the pressure, or else she will go blind. Blindness usually starts at about 3 months after symptom onset. We're at the 2 month mark now.

Because this is so rarely seen in children, in fact her doctor said he'd never had a case of it before, they have no idea of lasting affects. Because she's so young, it's too hard to even gauge how much her sight is already being affected.

Today I took them back to the doctor to have special pictures taken of her eye. Tomorrow I'm taking them to see the pediatric neurologist.

We thought everything was getting better. It seems she's just getting used to the pain or the pressure has drastically increased. I'm glad she doesn't have a tumor, but it's still scary.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Shooting Star

Around the time that Burp was born, my friends and I spent a lot of late nights out on my back porch sipping coffee, chatting, and watching the stars.

Today was hot and sweaty. Once I got Burp in bed, I took a quick shower and turned out all the lights and stepped out on my patio in nuttin' but a towel. It's funny how one little burning mass of rock can bring back so many memories.

Time has spread my two best friends half way around the world. Others I haven't spoken to in years and don't even know where they are now. Odd how life just moves on when you aren't looking.

It's nice to remember though.

Sleep tight!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Update On the Pothole Filled Road of My Life

Not sure if I mentioned this, Unemployment denied me because I'm not willing to accept a job that would require my child's primary care giver to be a sitter 9 months out of the year. I'm going to appeal.

The hospital hired me back as resource. We were told I could get hours doing Trauma to get ready for our State review coming up in early July. I worked my ass off, and about half way through they said "no more". I can only work on it while I'm on an ER shift, which I only had two of this month. (I've since picked up 2 more.)

On the flip side, not being a full time, benefited employee, I actually bring home more money. To pay my bills and make rent, I only have to work 6 shifts in a month. That's not too bad. Yeah, that's scraping by, but still... that's getting by.

The school finally came back with their verdict. They found that it is "very likely" that Burp has Asperger's and we designed an IEP, and I got to meet the teacher they're planning to give him next year. She seems pretty cool... and no, that isn't based on the eyebrow ring. (Though, I think that is cool as hell.)

Since I don't have benefits, I was able to get Burp State medical insurance. I forgot to fill his meds until late last night. I ran to the pharmacy an hour before it closed and waited the 20 minutes to get his Concerta... only to find out that the State is refusing to pay for it until the doctor can justify why he needs it. He's been on it for 2 freaking years. Jesus. And, his Zoloft has no refills, but they MIGHT give me one to tide him over for Monday. So..... we're getting a crash course in Burp not having the Concerta. I was planning on trying to cut the dose in half this summer, but not completely take it away. I'm a little "Yikes"... but truly, so far, so good.

So I have a "friend"... It's nothing serious. We talk. We have amazing sex on occasion. (Not as much as I'd like.) We've both agreed that life is simpler being single. But the other night he asked if he could spend the night. He did. Now I think I'm all fucked up in the head. It was nice. It reminded me how much I hate being alone. And again, the sex was amazing.

He has a few serious issues that I could not accept in my life. He would have to deal with them before I could ever have a serious relationship with him. His ex-wife is crazy and lives right across from me, so a relationship would definitely add drama to my life. Drama I don't want, or need.

He's very cute. I like him... but I'm not "in love", nor do I feel the beginnings of those feelings.. I don't think. But I think about him more than I'd like too. I really, really feel the emptiness of my bed now. I feel let down when I hint to him that Burp is gone for the night.... and he doesn't take the bait.

My BFF says that I think about things too much.... But then she's also said that we need to get over our "non-relationship" status and get married and give her a niece. Or something along those lines. LOL. Love you Sandra. Not getting married.... not adding another kid to this fucked up life of mine.

I think I'm just in love with the idea of not being alone anymore. I feel horrible when I analyze this. I don't think it has anything to do with him. The sex is great. He calls me Princess and Babe.... and I miss his warm body next to mine..... but beyond that, I don't know that I feel anything. Is that horrible? It shouldn't be, cuz that's kind of our agreement at this point.... It's kind of not ok that I miss him at all. But then I'm back to... Is it him that I miss?

Graaaaah! This is why being single is better. This is why it's better not to get laid at all.


I Have Found LOVE

I was stumbling around on youtube and found John and Hank. I'm not sure which I love more, but as close friends can attest... I love nerdy men, and OMG, CHECK THIS OUT!!! This is my man. Shakespeare! I know it. Did you check his religions section?? We were meant to be together.

Ohhh but this one sings. What a sweetie... This is a funny and sweet song. I love funny guys. Especially smart, funny, sweet guys.

It's a Soundtrack Day....


Jaron and the Long Road to Love : Pray For You

Rehab: Bartender

Harvey Danger: Flagpole Sitta

Ugly Kid Joe: Everything About You

3 Days Grace: I Hate Everything About You

Limp Bizkit: Break Stuff

Theory of a Deadman: I Hate My Life