Super Powers and Orgasms...

I KNOW I owe like a million TT posts.. I'm sorry.. I suck... I am The Suckage....

I have spent the last few nights reading The Bloggess and that chick cracks me the fuck up! She has inspired me to quit hiding my inner ridiculous... I kinda think she should be canonized and be made the Patron Goddess of Taxidermied Animals and Totally Neurotic Bloggers. She totally rocks!
So this here post (that you're currently reading) directly relates to this post, or more so.. the comments left by her readers. She kinda asks her readers what is the one thing you really want, but haven't bought yourself.... But it was turned into "WHAT IS THE MOST CRAZIEST FUCKING THING YOU CAN THINK OF?" and most of her peeps are cool as hell and totally raise the bar on crazy... Sure there are those that are like "I want a new house so that my family can be secure" or "I want a job" which yeah, I'm so totally freaking there with you.. I get your pain... But this is satire folks... Not the Lifetime Movie of the Week. I think ppl read her blog to feel good.... and dude, you're ruining the party.
Plus (and make fun of me all you want Tandy) (I'm so totally NOT fucking superstitious) but talking about your hopes and fears jinxes the fuck out of you! Seriously! I don't talk about what I really need because that pretty much guarantees that I'm fucked... Sure I talk about "Dude, if I were suddenly rich.. I would buy a missile silo and build a fucking castle on top of it so when the apocalypse (be it zombie, viral, nuclear, or Jesus come to destroy the masses) comes .. I'm totally fucking golden".. I can talk about this because there's just about as much chance of this happening as you finding Satan at the K-Mart buying ice skates.. But that's right up there with "If I woke up one day and looked like Selma Hayek, I'd spend a month at the mall... naked!" Don't worry peoples, you don't need to avoid the mall because, sadly, it's probably NOT GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN! ( really wish it would)
I don't talk about the bad stuff... cuz DUH! That's just INVITING disaster. 'Nuff said.

So.... I made my list of ridiculous things that I so want....
1. The damn castle/missile silo stronghold.. cuz DUDE!
2. Firefly to get picked back up...
3. To wake up one day with my nipples pierced, simply because I REALLY, REALLY want it done but can't imagine letting some stranger hold my nekid titties.
4. A clone slave that can do all the shit I don't want to do.. Like work.... and go to swim practice so that I can get more than 5 or 6 hours sleep at a time and ....................... sadly, spend more time on my computer.
and 5. A severe allergy to chocolate/peanut butter.... and maybe caramel too... Ok.. fuck it... all sweets and carbs in general... Preferably not life-threatening allergies.... but something that's horribly uncomfortable... like my ears swelling to 5 times their natural size...

I think that's a pretty damn good list.

Ok... so some ppl got really creative.. and they were talking about super powers... and I .. just a sec...........

I HAVE DISCOVERED THE BESTEST FUCKING SUPER POWER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... so you totally know the Vulcan Death Grip right? Ok.... so something totally like that... but instead of Death.... was it really death? cuz I'm NOT much of a Trekkie but I thought it was more like sleep... BUT... instead of Death/Sleep.. orgasm... That's right, ORGASM!..... Could you imagine being able to touch someone on the shoulder and give them the most instantaneous, out-of-this-world orgasm? DUDE! I'd start going to church... Just to touch old ladies on the shoulder during prayer... That would be funny shit!

Talk Thursday: Sun, Moon, and Scars

I love the self-expression of individuality through body modification such as piercing and tattoo. This doesn't mean I like it all and, to be honest, some of it gives me the willies, and yes, sometimes I find myself wondering why on earth someone would do that to themselves.

It's interesting to see how trends change. Once upon a time, I'd heard the most popular tattoos were roses, hearts, and butterflies. From what I can gather from some quick internet research is that today's most popular tattoos are tribals, stars, dragons, angels or fairies, and wings. The most popular piercings are ears, nose, and navel. I think eyebrows and tongues have got to be getting pretty close though. (I would get my eyebrow done if they weren't such horribly uncontrollable caterpillars that don't need any attention drawn to them.)

I think a strategically placed piercing can be quite lovely. I know a lot of people would strongly disagree and I definitely do have my reservations about some of the things people do to themselves. I have this piercing, as well as a double piercing to my right nostril. I tend to think I have nice lips and a cute nose and a tiny bit of bling just accents them. (Yes, I used "bling!) I keep the jewelry small and there are lots of times people don't realize that my nose was even pierced and are shocked that I had the first hole put in on my 18th birthday, some 16 years ago!!

I felt quite certain when I decided to take "Sun, Moon, and Scars" to body modification that suns and moons were going to appear higher on the tattoo popularity list. Apparently, suns aren't as popular as they used to be. I think they can be very pretty and I actually plan on getting one very soon! YAY! Though I like how the sun and moon are kissing, this isn't the tat I'm planning on getting, I just liked it as I was googling around. I have a hard time understanding why people get some of the designs that they get. I mean, I have a stupid monkey on my ankle because I was young, and dumb, and impatient, but some people spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars and hours and hours getting really bizarre, creepy, and ugly stuff put on them.

I don't get it. Maybe I'm getting old. Eeek!

I understand getting something you're really into. I learned from the monkey fiasco. I have made sure I've really thought about and loved everything I've gotten since then. I really like the detail in this fairies wings but her face is a tadbit sinister-looking and is a weird contrast. I like tats of Amy Brown fairies.

For a very brief period of time, I considered branding. As cool as some might look, I can't imagine how painful that must be. If I accidentally burn myself taking something out of the oven, that shit hurts for days!  No, branding isn't for me. Another mode of modification that is gaining popularity is scarification. Now this is some crazy-ass shit! They actually peel off pieces of your skin. Talk about OMFG pain!

Ok, I had to make that one really big so you could get a good look. I can't imagine sitting there while they do that. I wonder if they give you any kind of local anesthetic? Probably not, that's got to be like a declaration of manhood thing. No thanks, I'll stay a wussy girl, thank you!

If you, or someone you know, has one of those things that I said I don't really understand, I'd be thrilled to know about it. I'd love to get a personal example of why and how and OMG, what now?