Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Getting Hits

Ok.... so my most popular blog ever was "Sun, Moon, and Scars", posted like a year and a half ago. It was a well written post, I think, and continues to generate roughly 25% of my views. HOWEVER, I'm alarmed by the search words/phrases people have used to find me.

vagina piercings
crazy ass shit
piercing prince charles
ass shiting
random ass shit
omfg prepare your anus
"suspenders are hot"
ass with shit
assshitting

and I'm trying to figure out how ANY of this has to do with ANYTHING I've posted. And............ seriously.... someone (I hope it's just one.. very dedicated searcher) has a very serious philia with poo....

Disturbing. Interesting!

I'm Not Crazy

For several years, various friends (that's right, not even enemies) have been trying to diagnose me.

I have been friend-diagnosed as psychotic, a sociopath, neurotic, Asperger's (not that I consider that a form of crazy - just sayin'), and told I have anger management issues. One, I manage my anger just fine. I verbalize it and don't act on it.. I call that managed. And because I can do that, I'm obviously not a sociopath. (I'd like to say that also disqualifies me on the psychotic stuff too, but I don't know if that's ACTUALLY the case. *shrug*)

I might be a bit neurotic. I do have anxiety and I can tend to be very insecure about certain things, which cranks up the volume on my anxiety, but if that's the definition of neurotic..... you got me.

I might be a bit spectrum. I seem to pass all the screening tests with flying colors, but I maintain that my son's counselor states that the simple fact that I broached the question to him "proves" that I'm not spectrum....... WTF does that even  mean? That doesn't feel like an answer to me, but perhaps my need to dissect that statement is indicative of my neurotic nature.

I have some issues (don't we all), I'm not in denial. I have some self confidence issues. I have some anxiety issues. I have some weird OCD-like tendencies (who doesn't) (I get it from my mother.. who probably gets it from her mother)(It's a family tradition).. I have some issues with "right and wrong"... not that my lines are blurred. I know the difference between right and wrong, and act accordingly (almost always). My issue seems to lie in knowledge. I can't leave an obviously wrong statement alone. I have to correct it. Or, if I'm not certain, but strongly question... I HAVE to look it up. It's a compulsion.(I blame my mother for the countless times she told me as a child, "Look it up".) It's not a need to prove anyone wrong, per se, but a driven need to stop the proliferation of senseless and incorrect ideas. (see that... I had to double check dictionary.com to make certain I wasn't using "proliferation" improperly.) I'm constantly double checking the dictionary and I google everything..

One of my friends on Facebook posted a need for a laugh, "Someone please tell me a joke"...
One of her friends posted this:
Thor was flying around a castle on his Pegasus saying, "I'm Thor! I'm Thor!" The King heard this from his tower and poked his head out the window and replied, " Well of course your thor thilly! Your riding without a thaddle!"
Hee hee- my all time favorite:)
One... I showed great restraint.. I did not flame her. I wanted to... soooooooooo badly, but I didn't. I know it's a joke. HOWEVER, it's hard for me to find the funny when my brain is exploding from the OBVIOUS jumbling of mythologies. Perseus rode Pegasus. (NOT Hercules as Disney would have you believe! and of course, not Thor.. though that seems stupid to point out.) Thor could run as fast as a horse, and when he didn't feel like doing that he had a chariot pulled by goats.(Goats! Whaaaa?? I know, right?) (Further proof of insecurity, I KNEW these 3 points, but googled each just to make sure that I was remembering correctly.) **I can't go without saying... In the times that Thor was an actively worshiped god, how many Norse castles (with towers) are we likely to find?? And.. "Your" ... should have been "You're" ... But slightly overlook-able simply because joke tradition is verbal. *sigh* (Also, a point for Asperger's.... religion/mythology has certainly been a "special interest" for me for ohhhhhhhh about 20 years... at least.) (Though this I also blame on my mother. Again, just sayin'.)

The point is.. I have issues. But I manage them. Therefore, I'm all good. I don't need a label to fit in... or do I?

Google's not going to help me on this one, is it?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Lost... And Found... But Still Lost....

I'm not really lost. This is not a boo-hoo poor Psam post.. This is a declaration of my frustrations.

Maybe I'm going through a mid *gulp* life crisis.

I don't know. I feel like I'm stuck in a body that isn't what I want. I feel like I'm stuck in a go-no-where life that isn't what I intended. I have a job I hate. I only have two friends here.. One I never get to see.. The other only wants to try to fuck me.. or cry on my shoulder when his life his in the shit hole... Sometimes those overlap. I have no social life. I do nothing.

I am fun.. I am funky. I am unique. I am not my age. I want to be me. And I guess that's the real crux of it all. I don't get to be me. I want to wake up every day and dress in a style that screams "Psam"... cuz really, I'm Psam on the inside. Here, in this life, when Psam comes out, people look at me like I'm crazy... like I don't fit. I have people who know and love my "Psam" ... but they aren't here.. They aren't in my every day, touchable life. My mom knows Psam. I think she even likes her, but sorry Mom.. I need more than my mommy sometimes.

I'm in a rut. I need a change. I need a life.

This is not me.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Super Powers and Orgasms...

I KNOW I owe like a million TT posts.. I'm sorry.. I suck... I am The Suckage....

I have spent the last few nights reading The Bloggess and that chick cracks me the fuck up! She has inspired me to quit hiding my inner ridiculous... I kinda think she should be canonized and be made the Patron Goddess of Taxidermied Animals and Totally Neurotic Bloggers. She totally rocks!
So this here post (that you're currently reading) directly relates to this post, or more so.. the comments left by her readers. She kinda asks her readers what is the one thing you really want, but haven't bought yourself.... But it was turned into "WHAT IS THE MOST CRAZIEST FUCKING THING YOU CAN THINK OF?" and most of her peeps are cool as hell and totally raise the bar on crazy... Sure there are those that are like "I want a new house so that my family can be secure" or "I want a job" which yeah, I'm so totally freaking there with you.. I get your pain... But this is satire folks... Not the Lifetime Movie of the Week. I think ppl read her blog to feel good.... and dude, you're ruining the party.
Plus (and make fun of me all you want Tandy) (I'm so totally NOT fucking superstitious) but talking about your hopes and fears jinxes the fuck out of you! Seriously! I don't talk about what I really need because that pretty much guarantees that I'm fucked... Sure I talk about "Dude, if I were suddenly rich.. I would buy a missile silo and build a fucking castle on top of it so when the apocalypse (be it zombie, viral, nuclear, or Jesus come to destroy the masses) comes .. I'm totally fucking golden".. I can talk about this because there's just about as much chance of this happening as you finding Satan at the K-Mart buying ice skates.. But that's right up there with "If I woke up one day and looked like Selma Hayek, I'd spend a month at the mall... naked!" Don't worry peoples, you don't need to avoid the mall because, sadly, it's probably NOT GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN! ( really wish it would)
I don't talk about the bad stuff... cuz DUH! That's just INVITING disaster. 'Nuff said.

So.... I made my list of ridiculous things that I so want....
1. The damn castle/missile silo stronghold.. cuz DUDE!
2. Firefly to get picked back up...
3. To wake up one day with my nipples pierced, simply because I REALLY, REALLY want it done but can't imagine letting some stranger hold my nekid titties.
4. A clone slave that can do all the shit I don't want to do.. Like work.... and go to swim practice so that I can get more than 5 or 6 hours sleep at a time and ....................... sadly, spend more time on my computer.
and 5. A severe allergy to chocolate/peanut butter.... and maybe caramel too... Ok.. fuck it... all sweets and carbs in general... Preferably not life-threatening allergies.... but something that's horribly uncomfortable... like my ears swelling to 5 times their natural size...

I think that's a pretty damn good list.

Ok... so some ppl got really creative.. and they were talking about super powers... and I .. just a sec...........

I HAVE DISCOVERED THE BESTEST FUCKING SUPER POWER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... so you totally know the Vulcan Death Grip right? Ok.... so something totally like that... but instead of Death.... was it really death? cuz I'm NOT much of a Trekkie but I thought it was more like sleep... BUT... instead of Death/Sleep.. orgasm... That's right, ORGASM!..... Could you imagine being able to touch someone on the shoulder and give them the most instantaneous, out-of-this-world orgasm? DUDE! I'd start going to church... Just to touch old ladies on the shoulder during prayer... That would be funny shit!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

OMG... So In Love....

"In the still of the night
I held you, held you tight,
Cuz I love, love you so,
Promise I'll never let you go..."

Ok... I'm in lust.
Deep, wet, sticky lust.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Temperment Test

Interesting... I think my results where pretty right on...
Take the test here.


My results:
TemperamentScore
Idealist16
Rationalist11
Traditionalist0
Hedonist3
Your temperament type is Idealist.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Talk Thursday: "Who, Me? Already?"

Pink socks make me a feel special.
I like my popcorn slightly burned.
Flashmobs make me cry.
That's weird, and I've absolutely no idea why.

I can watch reruns of House and NCIS all day, and be upset if I have to miss some.
I could eat teriyaki every day for the rest of my life.
Chocolate makes me crave cheese which makes me crave BBQ sauce...odd, I know.
This song always makes me want to dance....


I hate folding laundry, but I'm worse at getting folded laundry put away... still.
I hate washing silverware, and I swear I use my dishwasher primarily because of this.
I hate hate more than anything and hate that hate inspires me to hate.
I hate Lady Gaga and the Black Eyed Peas,
But find myself bobbing with Miley.


My son knows the quickest way to annoy me is to "Rah, Rha" or "Boom, Boom",
I sure hope he never chooses to be a cheerleader. (Is there a different name for boy cheerleaders?)
Or to stick his finger between my toes.... That makes me want to vomit. 
SpongeBob makes me want to claw my eyes out and drive nails through my ears.
But I find myself watching iCarly long after he's gone to bed.




I am rather impressed that I got so far before using my child to define myself.
Some might criticize that it too long for me to get to him, but this was an exercise of sorts.
An exercise to see how much of an individual I am..
Apart from my child... sad to say it mostly involved music and food.

*sigh*

Friday, February 25, 2011

Opinions Are Like Assholes....

And I have lots.

What I have discovered about myself is that while I've very interested in debating and discussing some issues, others are absolutely non-negotiable.

RELIGION - Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love to discuss and debate religion. I have ideas, but I don't know it all, and I'm always looking for that bit of wisdom or understanding that will broaden or focus my thoughts. However, if you're using your faith to give foundation to intolerance of any sort, of any kind, you better know your literature, and you better be able to back up your beliefs with an explanation of WHY you believe the way you do. "Cuz that's how I was raised", or "The Bible says so",  just doesn't work with me.

ABORTION - Non-negotiable. I agree with abortion. I believe there is a medical purpose for it. I believe the alternative to legalization is scary. Finally, a woman should decide what to do with her body. That said, I don't like abortion. I think some people are irresponsible with it. Though I don't really view it as murder, I do still feel that it's killing a baby. (How is that different? I don't know, some sort of grey area.) I don't condemn people for it, but it makes me sad when it isn't a desperate last resort. Lastly, though a woman should get to choose what happens to her body, I can't help but feel that a man should have a say in what happens to his child. That said, wow... what a mess that would create if he did. So the bottom line is this : I agree with abortion and there's no debate in the issue.

GAY RIGHTS - Non-negotiable. I cannot debate this topic with any sort of reason or understanding for people who don't, in some way, believe as I do on this issue. I don't want to hear you spew your fucked-up God-shit. I don't want to hear you refer to mental illness. And if you think it's disgusting, quit being a pervert and mind your own damn bedroom! Oh? You don't want to offend me? Well, YOU DO! You're talking about my friends, my family, my coworkers. People I love, and every time you open your hateful, ignorant mouth on the subject I find myself fantasizing about ripping your fucking tongue out.

*breathe* (See, I'm fairly firm on that issue.)

EVOLUTION - Debatable. I believe in evolution, but I can learn more and I'm not opposed to hearing from both sides. I tend to stand on the side of science, so give me your science you op'posers'!! (Little hint... You can't use the Bible or religion as "proof" against evolution. 1. God made Adam from the mud, it doesn't say how long it took him, and 2. The Bible isn't science.)

CAPITOL PUNISHMENT - Kind of non-negotiable. I believe in the death penalty. I believe that some people can't be rehabilitated. I don't believe in Life Without Parole. If a dog is especially vicious and has killed someone, the dog gets put down. If it's repeatedly attacked people, it gets put down. I don't think people should be treated any differently. You don't put a dog in a little kennel and wait till it dies. You peacefully put it down. I don't believe in hanging, firing squads, electric chairs, or gas chambers. Just put the person down. I don't believe that the death penalty should be used as a deterrent or a punishment. I believe it's a solution to a problem. I think that keeping "Lifers" is a drain on finances and a risk to the staff that have to care for them.

MEDICINAL MARIJUANA - I can totally debate this one, though I'm pretty firm on my opinion. My argument against legalization isn't a moral, but an ethical issue with the way that it's happened. Being that we are a republic, our government is set up that supposedly the States get to make their own rules as long as they fall within the Federal government's guidelines. (In a nutshell..lol) But on the issue of marijuana, the States shouldn't be allowed to make these choices because the Federal government has decided that it's a Schedule 1 Drug. The Federal government has made it illegal and and deemed it to have no medicinal purpose.  I totally don't agree with this scheduling and most of the rational and informed people of this country probably wouldn't agree that pot is worse than heroin. I just disagree with the legality of the process with which it was made legal (here in Oregon and several other states).

(HOLY CRAP!!! Do you know Samoas have 70 calories EACH?)

I could go on. Gun laws, legalize prostitution, sex ed in schools, government-sanctioned breeding laws, career-welfare moochers..... some of those, I'm sure you can guess where I stand...

Anyway, it's late and I'm getting tired.
Yay, American Idol is back!! I like a few, but Casey Abrams stands out for me at the moment. (Ohhh and the Asperger's boy.)

Here are a couple of links to things that inspired this little rant. Mostly, it's not the pieces themselves, but the some of the comments people posted to them that got me all riled up.

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/02/24/new.york.billboard.abortion/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn#

http://kezi.com/news/local/205484

Monday, February 21, 2011

Talk Thursday: 30 (or so, we'll see) Things About Me

1. I hide.
2. Hence, the no blogging.
3. I don't lie well, hence the hiding and no blogging.
4. I don't trust people,
5. but I doubt my judgement, so I convince myself to
6. and I get burned.
7. I am too forgiving and unforgiving, all at once.
8. I love my son, he is my joy, my soul, my fears, and my dreams.
9. I want to be a soccer mom when I grow up.
10. I wish I could be a foster parent.
11. I wish I wasn't poor,
12. money doesn't buy happiness
13. but it relieves the stress and makes goals easier to attain.
14. The last time I went a day without coffee was 9 1/2 years ago.
15. I love coffee.
16. My mom has had the same coffee pot for more than a decade, I have burned through 3 in the last 10 years.
17. I love my Mom.
18. I can't think of anything I'd want to change about her.
19. She is dependable, trustworthy, strong, intelligent, confident, determined, giving, and kind... everything I strive to be.
20. I'm pretty good at some,
21. Not so good at others.
22. I love the wind,
23. rain,
24. and night.
25. I love to drink coffee while reading on a wet, windy night.
26. That reminds me of Dr. Seuss...
"The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold, wet day."
27. I love Dr. Seuss.
28. I don't know anyone named Sally.
29. I don't believe that Jesus was the "Incarnate Son of God".
30. My son does.
31. That makes me happy.
32. I believe in freedom of choice, thought, speech, expression, and all the inbetween.
33. Unless it's expressing yourself nude on a playground.
34. I believe in the death penalty.
35. I believe the government should control who can breed and who can't EVER!
36. Communism isn't bad in theory.
37. Ohhh, I made it past 30!
38. I cried on my 30th birthday.
39. I'm not where I wanted to be.
40. I love to watch House Hunters.
41. I feel extreme dislike for the people who whine about paint color or updating tiles.
42. You're buying a fricking $500,000 4 bedroom, 5 bathroom house and cry cuz there's no pool...?
43. People in Paris pay twice that for a shoe box apartment with no view.
44. People are crazy.
45. I yearn for a big house full of kids, .
46. and a big back yard with a golden retriever named Mattie.
47. I want a pool.
48. Burp and I could do laps every morning.
49. It would be great for both of us.
50. I love to swim.
51. I haven't been in a public pool in years.
52. My Mormons have forgotten me.
53. I haven't had a J.W. knock on my door in years.
54. I hate that most people can't sit down and have a rational discussion about religion.
55. I have friends who think "rational" and "religion" don't belong in the same sentence.
56. They're probably right.
57. In a few hundred years, will people think that David Koresh was really the second incarnation of Jesus?
58. I mean, in Jesus' life, few people believed him.......
59. I wish it would warm up and quit trying to snow,
60. My flower beds are a disgrace.
61. Spring is my favorite season.
62. I hate summertime.
63. I hate the hot.
64. I hate the bright.
65. I hate driving in the rain at night.
66. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with my eyes.
67. Some doctors are stupid assholes.
68. I'm too young for glaucoma
69. so my visual disturbances must be mental.
70. Maybe I am crazy.
71. I can think of much better ways to be crazy.
72. I have never lacked imagination
73. unless it's making up bedtime stories. I suck at that.
74. I'm not very good at staying in contact with people.
75. I hate talking on the phone.
76. I'm trying to pick up the phone more often.
77. That seems to be an odd comment to make.
78. Odder that picking up the phone gives me anxiety.
79. I am in love with Costa Rica.
80. I have never been there.
81. I have a crush on a boy at work.
82. He is a cute, nerdy teddy bear who betters himself and gives back to his community.
83. He tries on my lip gloss.
84. He is 9 years younger than me.
85. He coaches high school golf.
86. Golf is NOT a sport.
87. He went to Boise State.
88. I hate the Broncos and their stupid BLUE field.
89. We have agreed to disagree.
90. 9 years, golf, BSU, and he's Catholic... alone, nothing too major, altogether???
91. I've never had a "good" boyfriend.
92. I've only had one relationship that lasted more than 6 months and it was inconsistent and not healthy.
93. I'm 35 and too old for this shit.
94. I wish he'd ask me out.
95. I want a happy, healthy, comfortable family.
96. I want to teach my son responsibility, compassion, understanding, giving, and duty above self.
97. I want to practice what I preach.
98. I want to make a difference.
99. I want my son to take pride in who I am
100. Like I take pride in who my mom is.

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Inner Workings Of Me... and a funny

So.. I think if people could hear the inner workings of my mind, their brains would explode... The only time I seem to have a rational progression of thoughts is when I'm writing, or in an extreme rage. That's when I'm focused. The rest of the time, my thoughts are snowball of random thoughts, worries, and second-guesses. Trust me, I hate it.. I'd change it if I could.. sometimes, the progression is so quick that I have a hard time getting my thoughts out in conversation. One thought leads to another. I wonder if I understood the other person's meaning. Will my answer be understood? Am I saying this right? Am I going to offend? Is this really what I mean? What were we talking about?

Every morning when I take my birth control... I remember a similar morning a few months ago when I'd stayed the night at my mom's.

She saw me taking my birth control and asked the simple question, "Is it working for you?"

My first thought.. "Well, I'm not pregnant."
Then, "Why would I still be taking it if I were pregnant." "You can't 'undo' it." "She doesn't think that I wouldn't tell her if I were pregnant, does she?" "Is she trying to say that she thinks I shouldn't be having sex, is she?" "No, she'd never think that. I have a progressive mother." "If anything, she'd tell me I need to have MORE." "Hell, I'd love to have more..." "More would be nice." "I don't think you can ever have too much sex." "Well, maybe too much at once...but not in general."

Then I realize my mom is still looking at me expectantly and I've been looking at her like a confused puppy dog. I look at my birth control, then back at her... and it clicks.... she's talking about my complexion.

Duh!

"Uhhh, yeah.... seems to be, I guess."

Friday, September 3, 2010

Dare I Say It?

Life is.... good.

I've had a few very nice interactions with my Grandma and Cousin on Facebook. I miss them so much, but I'm glad to have them back in my life, even if only through FB.

School starts next week.

Football starts Saturday. Yeeeee Go Ducks!!

I'm reminded time and time again, that I've got the greatest, wisest,  most kind-hearted, understanding mom in the world.

Mr. Three Doors Down is no longer three doors down... But Mr. Left Side of the Bed, isn't any shorter. So, for lack of something better, The Plumber it is. The Plumber gets up at 5:30 and gets ready for work, and before he leaves he comes back in and covers me with smooches. Did I mention, life is good? He seems happy to be working regularly, to be living without drama, and seems to be getting used to someone who is considerate and wants to take care of him... I can't help it, it's in my nature, and it makes me happy.

Of course, this is a temporary situation... (we'll see about that!) He says he needs to be out of this apartment complex, that he just can't live this close to his sister and her husband.... but we'll see. We've agreed to take one day at a time... so nothing is set in stone... everything is subject to change.. and yes, I know that means it can go either way, and I'm okay with it.

The only down side to anything right now is that The Ex-Wife, who lives directly across the apartment complex from me, seems to have stashed their son at her parent's house. This is not abnormal for her. When ever it isn't convenient for her to have children, or she gets mad at The Plumber, she does this. Gemini is 11 though, and he sees it for what it is. But I know they miss each other, and that breaks my heart. He's a good kid. He just needs love and stability.

I hate it when parents use their children as weapons.

But, One Day At A Time... This too, shall work out.

For now, Life Is Good!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

My Little Eden.....

I was so excited today as I did my morning tour of my garden...
I have finally gotten two lovely Morning Glorys from seed. YAY! If those that the only two flowers I get, I'm happy.
I am a little sad. One of my roses isn't doing so well... but the other is gorgeous... When you walk outside, you can instantly smell it mixed with the sweet peas. Once again, YAY! It makes me so happy!
Here's my sweet peas... they're now growing over the top of the fence... Fantastic!
Here's a few other shots from around my little strip of paradise.
Pretty, pretty, pretty! Though I haven't had many butterflies... I do have lots of dragonflies, a cutie-patootie tree frog, and my mother's mortal enemy... a big fat garden snake. (Mom, I squeal when he surprises me too!)

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Update On the Pothole Filled Road of My Life

Not sure if I mentioned this, Unemployment denied me because I'm not willing to accept a job that would require my child's primary care giver to be a sitter 9 months out of the year. I'm going to appeal.

The hospital hired me back as resource. We were told I could get hours doing Trauma to get ready for our State review coming up in early July. I worked my ass off, and about half way through they said "no more". I can only work on it while I'm on an ER shift, which I only had two of this month. (I've since picked up 2 more.)

On the flip side, not being a full time, benefited employee, I actually bring home more money. To pay my bills and make rent, I only have to work 6 shifts in a month. That's not too bad. Yeah, that's scraping by, but still... that's getting by.

The school finally came back with their verdict. They found that it is "very likely" that Burp has Asperger's and we designed an IEP, and I got to meet the teacher they're planning to give him next year. She seems pretty cool... and no, that isn't based on the eyebrow ring. (Though, I think that is cool as hell.)

Since I don't have benefits, I was able to get Burp State medical insurance. I forgot to fill his meds until late last night. I ran to the pharmacy an hour before it closed and waited the 20 minutes to get his Concerta... only to find out that the State is refusing to pay for it until the doctor can justify why he needs it. He's been on it for 2 freaking years. Jesus. And, his Zoloft has no refills, but they MIGHT give me one to tide him over for Monday. So..... we're getting a crash course in Burp not having the Concerta. I was planning on trying to cut the dose in half this summer, but not completely take it away. I'm a little "Yikes"... but truly, so far, so good.

So I have a "friend"... It's nothing serious. We talk. We have amazing sex on occasion. (Not as much as I'd like.) We've both agreed that life is simpler being single. But the other night he asked if he could spend the night. He did. Now I think I'm all fucked up in the head. It was nice. It reminded me how much I hate being alone. And again, the sex was amazing.

He has a few serious issues that I could not accept in my life. He would have to deal with them before I could ever have a serious relationship with him. His ex-wife is crazy and lives right across from me, so a relationship would definitely add drama to my life. Drama I don't want, or need.

He's very cute. I like him... but I'm not "in love", nor do I feel the beginnings of those feelings.. I don't think. But I think about him more than I'd like too. I really, really feel the emptiness of my bed now. I feel let down when I hint to him that Burp is gone for the night.... and he doesn't take the bait.

My BFF says that I think about things too much.... But then she's also said that we need to get over our "non-relationship" status and get married and give her a niece. Or something along those lines. LOL. Love you Sandra. Not getting married.... not adding another kid to this fucked up life of mine.

I think I'm just in love with the idea of not being alone anymore. I feel horrible when I analyze this. I don't think it has anything to do with him. The sex is great. He calls me Princess and Babe.... and I miss his warm body next to mine..... but beyond that, I don't know that I feel anything. Is that horrible? It shouldn't be, cuz that's kind of our agreement at this point.... It's kind of not ok that I miss him at all. But then I'm back to... Is it him that I miss?

Graaaaah! This is why being single is better. This is why it's better not to get laid at all.

HOLY CRAP COOKIES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???  

I Have Found LOVE


I was stumbling around on youtube and found John and Hank. I'm not sure which I love more, but as close friends can attest... I love nerdy men, and OMG, CHECK THIS OUT!!! This is my man. Shakespeare! I know it. Did you check his religions section?? We were meant to be together.

Ohhh but this one sings. What a sweetie... This is a funny and sweet song. I love funny guys. Especially smart, funny, sweet guys.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Morning Ritual

Coffee!

Wiki recent deaths. Yes, I do this nearly every morning. OMG Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper.
Art Linkletter last week.
Sometimes I see interesting trends. This month, 14 former Olympians, 7 poets, and 5 chess players. Hmmmm...

Then I go over to CNN.... Check on the oil leak. Still ugly...
Look at some of the headlines. Hmmm England has someone claiming to be a cannibal. I didn't read the article to verify. Nice to see we don't get all the crazies..
In Seoul, South Korea the court sought a 5 year sentence for a couple who let their 3 month old baby starve to death while they played 12 hour sessions of an online 3-D fantasy game, Prius . The premise of the game..... to raise a child and as she ages she gets magical powers. The court returned a 2 year sentence for the 41 year old father... but the 25 year old mother's sentence is suspended... Why? Because in August she'll be having another baby!!

Can I get an "OMGWTF! Really?"

Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm In A Contemplative Mood....

Mom, cover your eyes.

Don't ask my why I'm stuck on this question tonight... but I'm just wondering... What is the real fascination with shaving the bush? Really, I find myself in the should I? or shouldn't I? and this has been eating at me for YEARS. Obviously guys care, cuz they tend to ask (which I think is tacky). I feel you should wait and see.... and if you have a preference, well- you need to wait til your opinion REALLY counts. If we aren't to the point that you can request a favorite piece of lingerie, then you can not make suggestions on how I maintain the pubis.
1) I'm a bit afraid of razor burn in that general area. I have sensitive skin.
2) The fact that you want it to be reminiscent of that of a prepubescent's freaks me the fuck out.
3) For above reason, shaved balls freaks me out. (Just so you know)

Sorry, I'm in a weird mood and have a bunch of random junk on my mind... Perhaps if I get it out of my head I can focus on Talk Thursday.

Random Thought.....

Commercial...
"One in four women misread a traditional pregnancy test."

Ummmm common sense says "If you can't read a pregnancy test, maybe you shouldn't breed."

....but that's just me...

hahaha