The Inner Workings Of Me... and a funny

So.. I think if people could hear the inner workings of my mind, their brains would explode... The only time I seem to have a rational progression of thoughts is when I'm writing, or in an extreme rage. That's when I'm focused. The rest of the time, my thoughts are snowball of random thoughts, worries, and second-guesses. Trust me, I hate it.. I'd change it if I could.. sometimes, the progression is so quick that I have a hard time getting my thoughts out in conversation. One thought leads to another. I wonder if I understood the other person's meaning. Will my answer be understood? Am I saying this right? Am I going to offend? Is this really what I mean? What were we talking about?

Every morning when I take my birth control... I remember a similar morning a few months ago when I'd stayed the night at my mom's.

She saw me taking my birth control and asked the simple question, "Is it working for you?"

My first thought.. "Well, I'm not pregnant."
Then, "Why would I still be taking it if I were pregnant." "You can't 'undo' it." "She doesn't think that I wouldn't tell her if I were pregnant, does she?" "Is she trying to say that she thinks I shouldn't be having sex, is she?" "No, she'd never think that. I have a progressive mother." "If anything, she'd tell me I need to have MORE." "Hell, I'd love to have more..." "More would be nice." "I don't think you can ever have too much sex." "Well, maybe too much at once...but not in general."

Then I realize my mom is still looking at me expectantly and I've been looking at her like a confused puppy dog. I look at my birth control, then back at her... and it clicks.... she's talking about my complexion.

Duh!

"Uhhh, yeah.... seems to be, I guess."