Monday, September 13, 2010

The Little Things

Yesterday evening, Lucifer let us have Gemini for a whole 5 hours! He visited with his dad, played with Burp, and ate dinner with us.. I even got a hug. It was a good time.


Gemini is 11, he'll be 12 in November. I know not really a Gemini... I named him that because of the Jekyll and Hyde personality he supposedly has. Around me, he's never been anything but polite and respectful, but I've heard rumor that he can be a real turd sometimes. Also that he and Burp have had a lot of problems getting along in the the past. Most of that problem stems from the fact that Burp is best friends with GamerBoy, who is Gemini's cousin and best friend.... So there are some jealousy issues. I'm sure there's also some age difference and understanding issues. GamerBoy and Burp are only a year apart, and both have some similar symptoms of Asperger's, though GamerBoy's Asperger's is way more severe.


There are almost three years between Burp and GamerBoy and Burp can be even younger in some of his attitudes and responses. Gemini didn't seem to mind at all last night though. He just seemed happy to be here, as we all were. He even came to me and said, "I really like being here." Bittersweet. He's a good kid.. He just needs some stability and love.


I did however learn, he does not like broccoli. He likes green beans. I will remember this. And he and Burp have the same favorite ice cream, Mint chocolate chip.


I spent Friday cleaning Burp's room. For the last year and a half, his top bunk has been home to the last few boxes I'd yet to unpack. I finally did that.. Threw tons of shit away. Made the bed. Threw away all the broken and outgrown toys and organized what was left. I had really hoped that maybe Lucifer would let us have Gemini for the weekend... hahaha right, I know. But on the off-chance that she did, I wanted him to have a place. When he came over last night and saw that the bed was cleaned off and made up, he asked if I'd done that for him so he could stay over sometimes, and I told him it was. He smiled really big and said thank you.


Kids need to know that they're wanted. They need to know that you've opened up a place for them in your life. He seems to like that I've done that for him.


I have long held that blood doesn't equal love or family. Plenty of people in this world don't feel the bond of "family" simply because they're born to it. Family comes from the people you love, that love you in return, who make special places for you in their lives, not because they have to or are obligated by genetics to do so, but because they want and choose too. This is why I'm closer to my Papa than I am my biological father. This is why my son has a stronger bond with his Aunts Tandy and Chole, who are not in anyway related except through love, than he does with the Aunts who can legally call themselves such. This is why Burp has a baby cousin halfway around the world. This is why my mom, even through exasperation and frustration, gives her time and love to my batshit crazy adopted grandma.


Burp and I have long held that blood has nothing to do with family. I'm hopeful that our family is expanding a little.

3 comments:

Cele said...

My wise daughter oft times looks at her son and proudly hails, "I did that."

She doesn't know it but I oft times look at my daughter and with proud tears in my eyes think, "I did that."

Unknown said...

awwww. Not I have tears in my eyes as I think... "Yes, YOU did!"

I love you.

Unknown said...

Not "not".... NOW..... well, then I had tears in my eyes..... I'm still pleased to please my mom.