Saturday, November 28, 2009

Random Meme

Whaaa??? I'm it???? Ok!

1. What is your occupation right now?   Emergency Department Unit Secretary
2. What color are your socks right now?   No socks
3. What are you listening to right now?   Dr Bowers dictate
4. What was the last thing you ate?     Fish 'n Chips
5. Can you drive a stick shift?   I can !!! hahahaha
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?   Personal call? My mom.
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?   Duh!
8. How old are you today? 33
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?   Oregon Duck Football
10. What is your favorite drink?   CoffeeCoffeeCoffee
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? OMG and my roots are soooooo bad
12. Favorite food?    ummmmmm chocolate???
13. What is the last movie you watched?  DVD ?The new Transformers... it was good.. In the theater ? 2012... I liked it.. but mom don't go see it. You'll bitch through the whole thing.
14. Favorite day of the year?    ummmm should I have one?
15. How do you vent anger?   I get mad and cry!
16. What was your favorite toy as a child?    Fire!!! hahaha. ummmm gosh, depends on the age.
17. What is your favorite season? winter, spring, fall.................. I HATE SUMMER!
18. Cherries or Blueberries?   RASPBERRIES
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? NO, Blog away
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Tandy
21. Who is least likely to respond? ?????
22. Living arrangement?  What the hell is this? The left side of my is always available if that's what you're asking.
23. When was the last time you cried?    Holy crap. Seriously. I cry all the time. Daily. So gods only know.
24. What is on the floor of your closet? Why are you asking? who have you been talking too? I DIDN'T DO IT! ...................... boxes
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? Umm, Shit!  I have to tag people?   Tandy
26. What did you do last night?    Worked.
27. What are you most afraid of?   Nothing.... That's not true. Very little. Nothing material, and we don't talk about them, to acknowledge your fears gives them life.
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Chedder with bacon please
29. What is your favorite kind of dog? Slovensky Cuvac
30. What is your favorite day of the week?  ummmm Saturday? GO DUCKS!!
31. How many states have you lived in? 1 - Oregon ... and 1 Province - Ontario...
32. Diamonds or pearls? hmmmmm blue diamonds
33. What is your favorite flower? Lilies
34. What are your favorite two movies of all time? Dogma and The Gladiator.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Character and Storyline Abuse

I have sooooo had it! Don't get me wrong, I am the queen of sequels. I never want the story to end. But I want something new! If you're going to go back and tell an old story, stay true to the story. And OMG if you have to "remake" a movie, have fucking reason for it!

Batman. How many different versions can they show us? They have HOW MANY different comic series and cartoon series to glean characters and plots from? WHY have I seen the birth of The Joker and Two-Face in two very different ways? To me this amounts to fanfic. You aren't creative enough to come up with your own characters, so you take someone else's and create your own little story around them. Frustrating and pathetic. You may argue that these movies were created by different writers, producers, companies, whatever... I don't give a crap.

I was so excited to watch GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra. In itself, it wasn't a bad movie. If you know anything about the original story lines, the changes are insulting.

1. Duke is a code name, there is no way a pre-Joe girlfriend would call him Duke.
2. There is no way said girlfriend ended up being the fucking Baroness. REALLY? Her and Duke NEVER had a relationship. If anything, her and Destro were getting it on. And she was totally not American!
3. Destro didn't become Destro until the end of the movie, after which the Baroness was, what-the-fuck, good. They have been partners in crime since damn near birth!
4. NO WAY IN HELL Cobra Commander was Baroness' brother. Sure the original series never really gave a history to him, but come on, REALLY?
5. Snake Eyes was not Asian. There are several different story lines through various different comic book publishing companies and cartoon series but it remains consistent Snakes Eyes vocal chords suffered irreparable many years before, usually involving a helicopter incident, (One states that he and Storm Shadow served in the Vietnam War together and that he was shot boarding the helo, another states that he rescued Scarlet from a burning helo, etc) and that he didn't take a vow of silence when his Master was killed by Storm Shadow.
6. All versions agree that yes- Storm Shadow and Snakes Eyes were sword brothers, however, he didn't train as a ninja until he was an adult.
7.AND how are you going to kill off Storm Shadow. He actually becomes a Joe for a brief period of time!
8. And Cobra Commander pre-existed if not the formation of the G.I.Joe unit, then at least most of them becoming Joes.. Duke, Snake Eyes, Scarlet, etc.

I'll stop. I was just a little disappointed. I don't mind changing story lines. I don't mind adding stuff, or cutting stuff out. I don't even mind if they combined some of the different story lines from different series. But to totally create another history, when there's already a few you can choose from is just annoying! And yes I know they left it open for a sequel. They will probably bring back Storm Shadow and hopefully Flint and Lady Jaye will be in the story, of course it will be revealed that they're Destro's bastard love children who will have incestuously spawned retarded love children of their own.

While I'm in this frame of mind, I really want to touch on another branch of this molestation. Authors. Authors do it to themselves! I have to wonder, do they have such little faith in their readers that they think we don't notice or that we don't mind. I'm not even really talking about when they take a good book and destroy it on film. Though that makes me pretty mad too!

DEAN KOONTZ!!! The best character written in the modern age: Regina from The Hideaway. Lovable, orphaned, 10 year old Regina with the gimpy leg and gnarled hand "THUD! Sccccuuuurrr"ed her way straight into my heart. Three years later, the character was raped and gutted and suddenly Alicia Silverstone portrayed the shallow revamped character. A true travesty. But wait, it gets better. Dean was apparently so heartbroken about the film version of the book, like a phoenix from the fire, nine years later Regina rose from the ashes of The Hideaway as 9 year old Leilani Klonk in "One Door Away From Heaven." Maybe he thought we wouldn't notice or maybe he doesn't think his fans really read ALL of his books, and the way he puts them out these days probably none of us do.

Speaking of kicking a dead horse... Janet Evanovich! I'm calling you out! Stephanie needs a new story line. We're on, what, number 15 or 16 now, plus the Inbetweens, and WE HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING NEW IN FOR-FUCKING-EVER!!!! She's stale. Get a new idea or STOP WRITING HER! There are only so many ways you can blow up a car. Maybe she should hang out with Jenny T Partridge and maybe she'll absorb some character depth! or at least put a few missionaries in danger. I'm a little bored with the drug dealers and hos and the cheap laughs aren't hardly worth the time.

I'm a bit obsessed when it comes to my books. If I like an author, I have to have them all. To be honest, I haven't bought the last 3 Koontz or 2 Evanovich. Our relationship has lost the passion and I'm breaking up! "Breathless" came out two days ago and I am anything but.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Talk Thursday: Appreciate, Validate, Communicate

I love John Edward, but this topic is a hard one. Sure I could talk about Charmin, but you guys have already walked that walk with me.

*sigh* The blinking cursor doesn't write itself.

I don't know if my mom so much believes that everything happens for a reason, or that she believes reason can be found in everything that happens. I'm not sure if she ever sat me down and said, "Psam, everything happens for a reason.." but I know she would ask me "And what did you learn from that?" Again, I don't know if she ever gave me a lesson on lessons, or just left me with the understanding that if you can walk away from a situation, no matter how horrible, having learned something, then it had purpose. Sometimes the biggest injustice isn't the actual incident but not taking anything away from it. I appreciate this as one of the most important lessons my mom ever gave me.

Through my father and my stepfathers, sisters, brothers, and friends I have learned that true family has nothing to do with blood or marriage but love and involvement. I am blessed with a stepfather who is more than his predecessors combined. I have friends who are more family to me than the siblings that are legally bound to me. I am greatfull and appreciative of those strong bonds, and remorseful for those that aren't what they should be.

In the time of year when sad stories abound, I am so relieved  that I have a good, loving, HEALTHY child. I see the ads for child cancer patients, starving children, abandon, neglected, and abused children and I am filled with relief that mine is home safe and healthy... then I feel guilt over that relief, but oh my gods, I would rather feel that guilt than not.

I am thankful that I live in a country that has standards of fairness. I can say and believe what I want. I have the ability to put food in my child's belly, put clothing on his body, and he has a school to be educated in (albeit a declining education). If I can't afford to do those things, there is more than likely help to be had. I am not blind to our country's problems, but I will never turn on the tv and see orphaned, homeless American children living in shanties with their bellies distended from hunger. That will never be my child.

There is an amazing family that is involved with our new Cub Scout pack. Happy and Kevin have been married for 15 years and until their recent tragedy, they had never spent more than three days apart. They have one biological child and have taken in countless other foster children. They currently have 8 foster and adopted children living in their home.

Last year they adopted several of their foster children, amongst them was then 2 year old Gracie. This October Gracie suffered a stroke. She and Happy have been in Portland at Doernbecher Children's Hospital since then.

Initially Gracie lost the ability to walk and talk. She can now walk some with a walker and is learning sign language. They are hopeful that she will regain most of what she has lost. Rumor has it that Gracie will get to come home on Thanksgiving.

This whole horrible situation has brought out so many examples of heroism. Happy and Kevin could have given up their foster children during this crisis. Instead, Kevin has continued to care for them with the help of their Scouting family. Families stepped up and divvied up the children in the initial scramble to get Gracie help and have continued by helping take kids to appointments, childcare, and whatever else has been needed.

We were able to give a bit of money to help ease their financial burden. There will be fundraisers to help cover costs that insurance won't. Because Gracie was adopted, she doesn't have the state insurance and I have heard that the insurance she does have won't pay for her wheelchair or all of her physical therapy. There are wheelchair ramps to build and endless appointments to keep and it puts joy in my heart to know that they won't do any of this alone.

It's heartbreaking that little 3 year old Gracie is going through this, but I find her new family so inspiring, and I am so proud to be a part of their Scouting family. I have never met Gracie, as we join this pack a week before her stoke, but I think of her and her family constantly.

I think of how differently this could have gone for Gracie. She very easily could have died. How different would this be for her if she hadn't found her way into that foster home? If they didn't have the support of the Scouting community? It makes one aware of the things they want to become, of how blessed I really am, and that if I had to walk in those shoes - I wouldn't have to walk alone.

I hope that your Thanksgiving is as truly blessed as Gracie's.
Peace and love, be with you!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Talk Thursday: Sex and Tattoos

Can I stop at recommending that you not do the two at the same time?

I love tattoos. I have two... The first is a statement toward the stupidity of youth. Over anxious and trusting of a boy with a mickey moused race track controller... Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. Now I look like I have a sock monkey on my ankle.

Sex.... I'm a big fan. I was blessed with a mom I could really talk to. In the first grade all the big kids on the bus gave me the birds and the bees talk, with which I ran home, asked my mom to have a seat, then proceeded to tell her all I'd learned. She was a good sport about it. (I think I'd shit myself) But she simply nodded or shook her head. "Yes, that's true." "Well, no.. that's not exactly true." "Ohhhhh, well... I could see how that might be true."
At about 12 I learned what a blow job was. I might have learned in the first grade... or in the third grade... when Grant used to take me and Shawna into the sandunes and have us read Penthouse to him... (You didn't know about that..... He was a pervert.. but nothing bad happened, I promise.) Anyways... maybe at 12 I rediscovered the concept of a blowjob... which I thought was GROSS. And when I asked mom about the validity of this concept, she confirmed. And when I when I said, "Ewwwww!" she said "Ohhh trust me, some day your opinion will change." At 14 I confirmed that she was right.

I think my mom THINKS she knows when I lost my virginity. You think it was Corey. I remember coming home a little late for dinner. I think I had a smug look, you assumed something had happened... I confirmed. But this was not my first.........

It was less than 2 weeks after my 17th birthday... and I was supposed to be going to the high school for the Varsity double header against Reedsport. Both boys and girls teams were playing that night. And that is why I never confessed, because I lied about going to that game. I DID walk towards school, but before I got there BW pulled up in his Scirocco and asked me if I wanted a ride. (Admittedly, he'd been trying to get a little for years and I had known him since the 2nd grade when we used to play Star Wars on the playground equipment.)

Since we had extra time, we went to the beach- and one thing led to another. And I lost my virginity in the front seat of a Scirocco on the beach. And you MIGHT think that that's horrible... unromantic... SCREW romantic.. It was probably the best sex of my life.. and that is sad... but it gives me a goal.

At one point, after nearly kicking out the windshield, I was like "OMG, what was that?"
He laughed, "I think you just had your first orgasm."
Then he proceeded to give me two more. A true gentleman.

I discovered that I am incredibly fortunate in the orgasm department. I can have them inside, outside, upside down. 1 fish, 2 fish, 3 fish, 4. My max is 11 in one go.

And I'm always like, "Can we do it again?"
Or like Oliver Twist, "Please, sir, I want some more."

Sorry mom, another case of TMI.

To All My Faithful Followers...

HAHAHA but no, really. Some little bits of wisdom.

The Five Truths of Life
             (I know... everyone knows them.. people just need reminded.)

1 Fire is HOT!
2 Food is GOOD!
3 Good sex is BETTER!
4 Men are STUPID!
5 Women are EVIL!

It's the truth and you can't change it. As Burp says I say, "You'll get what you get, and you'll be happy about it!!"

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Name Callers

So last night at Cub Scouts, my friend and I were hiding from the rain, and prying eyes, under a big ponderosa pine smoking and bullshitting because both of our boys seem to do better without us around. To be honest, I have no idea what we were initially talking about, but her response (admittedly joking- in that "it's-true-but-I-don't-care" way) was, "Ohhh right, but you're the nonbeliever."
    Why do people say that? If people really want to point fingers, can't they do it accurately? Couldn't they call me the you-believe-too-much-er?

So I asked, "Nonbeliever? Like I don't believe that the Bible is The Divine Truth set down by God through man? True, I believe the Bible is a historically inspired fiction intended to teach man humanity, morality, and community. Like I don't believe that Jesus was The Christ, The Messiah, incarnate from the Virgin Mary, and no more the "Son of God" than you or I? True. I believe that Jesus was a prophet, like Abraham, Mohammad, and Buddha. Nonbeliever, like I don't believe that I have the knowledge or comprehension to be able to name one religion more "true" than another, nor one definition or interpretation of "God" to be more correct than the next? True. So I choose to learn what I can of all of them and respect all as different interpretations of the same, being unique and significant in their own way."

I am an Omnist. I think. It seems to fit. But then who knows? For so long I thought I was a pagan based on my polytheistic views, only to find that there's a better word for it - omnitheistic. Or does that fall into the pagan category too? Why do I struggle to label myself? Maybe because so much of the world tries to and gets it so wrong. Everyone has to fit into an easily defined category. Well, I don't. My beliefs don't.
Faith isn't a prepackaged frozen pizza with limited choice of toppings. Faith knows only the bounds of your heart and mind. Sometimes that faith doesn't fit into a religion. Have you ever tried to put 20 or more helium balloons into too small a car? That's how I feel on both sides of the issue. Stubborn, persistent jubilance and frantic stuffing - just trying to make it fit.

Monday, November 9, 2009

20 Years Ago Today...

I sat in homeroom watching in awe as The Wall came down... Cute kids and a song that makes you feel joy... Ok and the guys in suspenders are hot.... lol

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Talk Thursday: Life Altering Truths

There have been a few "Life Altering Truths" for me.. Things that changed the way I thought, the way I looked at life.

#3 John Grisham's The Chamber
Before reading this book, I was an avid believer in an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I believed that murderers and rapist and molesters should have done to them exactly what was done to their victims. After reading this book, I still believe in the death penalty, but I believe now that death shouldn't be a punishment, but a solution to a problem that can't be solved by other means. I realized that humanity is what separated us from them, and if we take pleasure or satisfaction in the "act" of the death penalty, then we are no different than they are... we just have a slightly more deserving victim. I now support the death penalty, but by lethal injection only, because I AM NOT like they are.

#2 The Lie of Abraham Lincoln
 As children we are taught that the Great Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves....
In high school, we were finally taught that Abraham Lincoln was simply a Great Politician, and did no such thing. My world was shattered when I discovered that Good 'ol Abe only freed the slaves in the Confederate States who didn't recognize him as president anyway and the Border States were allowed to keep their slaves until the ratification of the 13th Amendment.

When the truth was revealed, I not only lost faith in the validity of the history our country teaches it's children, but lost a hero in the process. And I share a birthday with the bum.

#1 Sweet Baby Jesus
 As children the churches, and I went to almost all of them, teach you that Sweet Baby Jesus loves everyone equally, died for our sins, and that one day we would all join him in Heaven. They seem to ignore that Sweet Baby Jesus did all of his saving as an adult, but hey, all kids like babies. They don't tell you that there is such a thing as "Age of Accountability" after which Jesus only died for your sins if you, at the very least, "ask him into your heart" or get baptized. And then, not every one gets to Heaven and, depending on the religion, if you do get there, you probably won't get to his level anyway. 

In truth, my problem isn't with the belief structures, it's with the way they dupe kids into thinking one way, only to spring the rules and regulations on them when they're finally deemed old enough to handle it. (For most of Christianity the "Age of Accountability"  is 12, the Roman Catholic church sets that age as 7, the LDS church 8. And (I know not Christian, but still) Judaism 13, Baha'i 15...  they can't even agree on a stinking age, no wonder there's wars.) After this point, you're only loved if you're forgiven and that's only if you pray for it, have communion, love the opposite sex, don't ingest caffeine, don't have sex unless married to the opposite sex, don't have tattoos, don't eat pork or shrimp, and some can't dance, wear perfume, make-up, or jewelry. 

Life was so much simpler when it was "love thy neighbor as thy self", "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", and "judge not, least ye be judged".

One More Meme...

Ok... so really... I'm just putting off housework.

Here we go.

  1. What do you add to your coffee? White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Creamer.... mmmmmMMMMmmmmm
  2. What are you reading now? Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
  3. Do you own a gun? 2- 22 rifles
  4. Are you registered to vote? Yes... Democrat.... but I don't ALWAYS  vote party.
  5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No. Well, if they're going to make me get nakid.... I demand dinner and a movie first.
  6. What do you think of hot dogs? Post-cholecystectomy... love'em
  7. Favorite Christmas Song? “Little Drummer Boy”
  8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee.. all day, everyday
  9. Can you do push ups? No.. not ever... but I can still do the splits!
  10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Funny... I could have left my mom's answer... Ron.. and yes his blue eyes were beautiful.
  11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelery? My 21st birthday ring
  12. Favorite hobby? Hobby.....? Who has time for hobbies..
  13. Do you work with people who idolize you? No, but they should.
  14. Do you have ADD? Maybe.... or am I just an airhead?
  15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? My laziness...
  16. What’s your Middle name? Doniene
  17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. I gotta pee. What day is it? Hmmmm COFFEE.
  18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Cigarettes.... that's it.
  19. Name 3 beverages you regularly drink. Coffee, Diet Cherry Pepsi, cranberry juice....
  20. Current worry right now? How long till I HAVE to go pee
  21. What side do you dress to? depends on what I find first....
  22. Favorite place to be? In the car, driving to mom's.
  23. How did you bring in the New Year? shit... I can't remember what I had for dinner last night...
  24. Where would you like to go? COSTA RICA, Ireland, Scotland
  25. Name three people who will complete this. Not really passing it on... tho anyone can... duh
  26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? everyones
  27. What color shirt are you wearing? White tank top..... with a shelf bra... cuz I don't feel like wearing a real one...
  28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No... but I love the high count Egyptian stuff...
  29. Can you whistle? Not really... my mom took the whistle for the next few generations..
  30. Favorite colors(s)? Green, pink, and blue
  31. Could you be a pirate? naw, I'm a ninja
  32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Amen-by Take 6, Dream a little dream...., Sentimental Journey, 
  33. Favorite girls name? Gavynne
  34. Favorite boy’s name? Calen
  35. What’s in your pocket right now? no pockets.. usually cell, lighter, pack of smokes, lipgloss, and maybe money in my bra..
  36. Last thing that made you laugh? Who knows, I laugh a lot
  37. Best bed sheets as a child? I had Garfield... I can't say they were best... but I had 'em.
  38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?Hyper extended, then dislocated my knee over and over and over and over
  39. Do you love where you live? My apartment? better than where I used to live, Oregon... there's no better place on earth.
  40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Three
  41. Who is your loudest friend? my friend Ty
  42. How many dogs do you have? None.. 2 kitties, Boudicea (Bodi) and Neko
  43. Does anyone have a crush on you? Doubtful
  44. What are the most fun things you ever did? Crap. Apple baseball with Burp and Jackie, Music trivia and singing in the car with mom...
  45. What are your favorite books? Lucifer's Hammer- Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle, The Lord Of The Rings – JRR Tolkien, The Jenny T Partridge series - Natalie, Dean Koontz, Charles Dickens
  46. What is your favorite candy? Anything peanut butter and chocolate
  47. Favorite Team? U of O Ducks.
  48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? Don't want one.. but there can be a party... ummmm How bout "It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to.........." LOL You would cry too if it happened to you... dootdododoot
  49. What were you doing at 12 AM? Worrying that I had my weekends confused and maybe I should be at work..
  50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? What day is it? Where's Ben? Do I have to get him from school?

I've Never Done a Meme before... so I stole one from mom.

Ten things about yourself:
1. Name: MOM, MOM,MOM,MOM,MOM,momomomomomo... wait.. I have another name???
2. Birthday: Shared with Not-So-Honest-Abe
3. Where do you live: DUCKTOWN
4. Right or Left handed: Right... but I can bat either...
5. Favorite color: Green and PINK....
6. Favorite sport: To watch... lately football.... to play... baseball
7. Biggest Fear: Falling... 3 feet or 30...
8. Status: single..... forever single
9. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes... a horribly wrong crush on an absolutely gorgeous, funny, smart, MARRIED doctor.... figures.... *sigh*

Your last....
1. Cigarette: 2 hours ago
2. Beverage: Coffee
3. Kiss: Today - Burp... does that count..... otherwise... Ohhh god... January
4. Hug: Today - Burp...... Otherwise.. last week
5. Movie seen: Shaun of the Dead... (One of my favs)
6. CD played: Sublime
7. Song listened to: No Woman, No Cry
8. Bubble bath: Holy Crap..... no idea
9. Time you cried: A few days ago, responding to mom's blog

Eight Have-You-Ever's:
1. Dated one of your best friends or wanted to? No, yes
2. Skinny dipped: Kinda
3. Kissed somebody and regretted it: *blush* yes
4. Liked someone you knew you couldn't have: See #9
5. Been overseas: Yes
6. Dressed in costume: Yes (kind of a dumb question... everyone's trick-or-treated)
7. Been drunk: This week? no.... lol.. ummm When Tandy was here.
8. Run away: Kinda.... I think that was a motivator behind my move to Canada.

Two Things That You Want To Be When You Grow Up:
1. Happy
2. Half of a whole

Friday, November 6, 2009

Ohhh Freedom!

I was raised on sports. I always tell people  that I got my potty mouth from my mother; but for me, I perfected it. Conjugating swear words is the only art form I excel at. My mother doesn't cuss a lot in her everyday life... but apparently swearing while watching sports doesn't count.... kind of like bathroom farts.
For the first time in my adult life.... I don't have a roommate.. I don't have anyone around to bitch if I want to watch sports... Ohhhh the rapture..


I ask you, does life get any better??? ................ well sex would be nice.

(I swear, if it weren't for the fact that I have given birth, and have an insatiable need for chocolate, I'd wonder if I really have ovaries.. When does American Idol come back on? I need to exercise my girl-mones.)

Tonight I"m watching the Boise St/Louisiana Tech game... And I didn't know who to root for. My gut says Boise beat us, I want them to die.... but logic says that if they are the one team that beat us, it looks better if they  stay undefeated. A few minutes into the game it was apparent that it didn't matter who I rooted for, Boise's going to win. Everyone says that their being undefeated doesn't really mean much because they don't have a difficult conference, but either Lou Tech sucks or Boise's pretty damn good.  Or  they're having a pretty impressive game at least.

Tomorrow we go to Stanford... (I'm kinda nervous.) I think we can. We're on fire lately... ESPN is picking the Ducks to win... but shit happens, and shit sucks..... *Fingers crossed* GO DICKS!!!!

OHhhhhh and, light a candle for me..... I MIGHT be in line for a set of Civil War tickets... When I told Connie that Burp cried cuz he didn't get to go to the Halloween game, she said it was very likely that she could get me Civil War tickets.... that would be sooooooooooo sweet... even if it's a night game and I have to work afterwards... I could be a little late....


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Just Something to Make You Laugh

Gifts of clothing never looked so good!

About a year ago Ben and I got in a fight.....

Ben: "Fine. I hate you! I'm running away!"
Mom: "Great! But you're going to look awfully funny running down the street naked, cuz every thing you THINK you own, I bought... AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STEAL FROM ME!!"
Ben (Eyes wide with dumbfounded disbelief) : .......................WHAT? ................................................ Fine... I'll wear the clothes grandma got me for my birthday! THOSE ARE MINE!"

Damn it! Foiled again!! As a kid, I hated clothes as a gift..... but then, I never threatened to run away much...

...................... damn

People around America are opening their hearts to the story of Noah Biorkman , a 5-year-old boy currently in a hospice, dying from Stage IV neuroblastoma. His parents are asking people all around th...


MacGyver was my 2nd

Flint was definitely first!!

And no one can claim that GI Joes wasn't sexual.. 
Cuz he married

Lady Jaye.
But the hotness of

 The Baroness
Made every little girl want to be a little

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Talk Thursday: Mea Culpa

Ohhhhh I'm in trouble.. You think it's all fun and laughs, but when your mother will probably be the first person to read this, ya get a little nervous...

I have fessed up to most, ummm, a lot of my childhood transgressions.  At the age of 21, I confessed to the Great Wooden Spoon Disappearance that occurred when I was approximately 3 years old. My mom and I lived on my grandma's property and she babysat me while mom worked. I have no clue what I did, but one day mom broke a wooden spoon over my butt. Determined that this would never, ever happen again, I stole all the wooden spoons. Not just from our house, but grandma's house too. I crawled under the house, dug a hole, broke the ones I could and buried the whole lot of them. As if this story alone doesn't show that even at the sweet age of three I was a hellion and wouldn't take no shit, you should also know that this is the age that I put the hammer through the fish tank, not once but twice in one week. (Some of you might think I deserved that broken wooden spoon, but rationale says put up the god damned hammers!)

My point is, there seems to be a statute of limitations on confessing childhood misdeeds. I sure hope that 20-25 years is long enough, cuz if not... it's going to be a lonely Christmas...

Second or third grade saw me as a latch-key kid. Yes I survived, no I never burned down the house, but holy crap! I don't know how I managed not too.
First of all, I LOVED McGuyver. He was my second crush ever!
Second of all, my step dad reloaded his own ammunition. I had hours and hours of unsupervised time in a garage FULL of flammable and combustible goods. I spent MONTHS trying to make that damned couch-fluff bomb. (mom.... I know you're shitting yourself right now.... but we're all alive.. and I'm a somewhat well-adjusted adult) (and hey, you LET me watch McGuyver and left me unsupervised...)

I should mention my first crush ever.... Flint.. from G.I.Joe's... My mom wouldn't get me Joe's... so when I went to my dad's house, I'd lift them from my little brothers. Mom found them, the first time, and made me give them back. After that, she never found them again. I had hours and hours of unsupervised time in a garage FULL of flammable and combustible goods. My favorite thing to do was to stand the Cobra evildoers in the sand and surround them with wooden matches (to be honest, the gun powder didn't burn well, and I lost interest in it fairly quickly) and I'd light one match and torch the Cobra with mom's hairspray... or lighter fluid (we bbq'ed a lot). ( LET me watch McGuyver and left me unsupervised...and I think it's prudent to point out, if I'd had my own, I wouldn't have had to destroy them for fear of my theft being found out.)

At 12, they bought me a gun! But that's a story I'll save for Thanksgiving!

I am a SCIENTIST.... I'm curious by nature.. One of my mom's favorite sayings is "Curiosity killed the cat... SATISFACTION brought it back.." Not having a proper science kit, I did quite well with a stand magnifying glass, Exacto knife, and some hard, clear plastic sheeting that I made slides out of.. I would catch bugs, put them in zip lock bags, freeze them, then dissect them and put various parts on slides and store them in the freezer. I can't tell you how many times I got in trouble for it. Inevitably we would have company and my mom would go to the freezer to get ice, and find my experiments... Just think what I could have done if I'd had a proper science kit.
Also, in the name of science, I would catch bees, put them in little paper bags, shake them up really good, douse it with lighter fluid, and torch it. Instant fireflies!
I HATE June bugs. With a fiery passion.. actually, in this case, it wasn't fiery. Thanks to McGuyver, I learned very young what happens when you mix ammonia and bleach. FOR THE LOVE OF SCIENCE... I caught a particularly hissy June bug and put it in a ziplock bag, to see how long the bug could live without air... The fucker lived for ever!!!!  So I took a cotton ball and put ammonia on it, put it in the bag... took a cotton ball and put bleach on it.. put it in the bag... That damned thing lived for like 3 more hours... and science proved that when the leaders of this world go crazy and push the buttons, June bugs will out live us all.. the bastards.

You may say, "Now you're a parent, Psam... based on your own childhood, aren't you worried?"
Not at all. Though impulsivity IS an ADHD trait, mine also has clinical anxiety and therefore is too chicken to be anything like I was as a child.

You may think that I'm disturbed, wondering if I ever moved on to small animals, and if I'm a serial killer in the making... No.... Although I did go through a small phase where we played funeral a lot, combing the neighborhood for dead animals to give proper funerals too, I never killed any animals, small or large, in the name of science, or not.

And... I don't play with fire anymore.... well, last year our patio slab had an ant infestation in a crack... and I used lighter fluid on it.... does that count??

I love you mom! (Who picked this topic???? No Christmas card for you!!)

Monday, November 2, 2009

UPDATE: ... Another Castaway..

I had talked to our nurse in charge of abuse cases, and she followed up on that boy. His youngest brother has been removed from the home. It makes me feel like there is hope out there, and that not all bad kids are just bad kids.. Sometimes there's a reason and hopefully the older boys will get the help they need.

Random Man Thoughts......

I love a smart man. Nothing makes me squee quicker than a man with brains talking something I don't get... like quantum physics, math, or computers... yes, once I called tech support just to talk to a nerdy man for an hour.

Interesting problem though. Most nerdy/geeky guys don't like sports. This is a problem. I now hang out in a chat that is abundant with nerds- computer programmers, teachers, physicists, pharmacists, and the random gamer that isn't overly smart (except in computers). And 99% hate sports with a passion.... is this left over from school days when they were ridiculed for their suckiness on the athletic field? Who knows, but it reveals an interesting problem: How do I find a man that fits my intellectual need - and my love for sports? or am I just shit out of luck?

So ATTENTION everyone.

WANTED: One eligible man who is gifted with brains AND brawn.

Must have an actual career. 
Must not like the 49ers or the Yankees.
Should be between the ages of 30 and 40 (Not firm on this though... I would never turn down some poor 21 yrd old nerdy athlete based on age... that would just be mean.)(Or a certain gorgeous doctor who, I think, is turning 41)
Must love kids.. or at least mine..
Must love practicing making kids... duh!
Must be into fatties.. unless he's a plastic sugeon and doesn't mind home lipo.
Must have a sense of humor... I know this isn't common amongst intellectuals.
Must have some fight in him... Or I'll walk all over him..... at least I recognize my faults.
Must like my mother... cuz my life will be hell if you don't get on her good side... and very few ever have.
MUST NOT be self-centered, egotistical, prejudiced, or close-minded.
Strongly recommended: an interest in world religion, politics, and constructive debate.
NEED NOT APPLY if you're devoutly anything, ie. religious, republican, serious (or recreational) drug user, child molester, or alcoholic.
One exception : DEVOUT DUCK FANS WELCOME!!!! 

So.... if you know anyone who fits my small criteria, HOOK ME UP!!

lol.... I'm going to be single a long, long, long time.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Fright Night @ Autzen

 47-20 Oregon!!!

I seem to recall USC freshman quarterback Matt Barkley saying that he didn't fear Autzen, that he would feed off the noise. He must have eaten himself to death, cuz that poor boy choked and died on the field last night.

Sure Vegas was playing 3:1 odds that USC would win.. but did anyone REALLY have any doubts??

We're now ranked #8 in the BCS standings, #7 in the AP Top 25. Where's USC....? 12th. Kinda makes me giggle.

Now we look on to Stanford. I feel a Rose Bowl, the a national title in the near future for the Ducks.

Go Ducks.  (Autzen from where I sat)