Where The Hell Am I???

Ever feel like the curtains have been ripped back and you suddenly find yourself wondering where we are and how we got here?

My iGoogle has a CNN section. It only gives me three headlines. When I saw "Missouri Police Find Body of Missing Boy". I clicked it, thinking this was Baby Sky, little Jhessye Shockley, or Baby Kate. It wasn't. This is a wholly different missing child.

At the bottom of that article, I saw the link to "Body Found in Search for Missing Virginia Beach Baby".
which led to..
"Two Nebraska children found in kennel"
and on. Each horrible story leading to links for more horrible stories.

"Body found during search for missing 10-year-old in Texas"
"Body Found in Investigation of Utah Babysitter's Disappearance"
"Tennessee Woman Indicted in Deaths of Infant Twins"
"Man Allegedly Caught on Tape Swinging Baby By Neck With Blanket."

They go on and on and on... Stories of bodies found, children missing, children abused. Though I realize not all of these stories are from today, or even this week, I can't help but feel that things are out of control. What is going on? What is happening to us?

 "Parents arrested after giving away Toddler" This one, I have a problem with. I don't know the whole story, only what was written in this article, but it seems to me the parents did the right thing. It seems to me that the headline is misleading. The parents were junkies and gave a neighbor temporary custody of the child while supposedly getting clean. If this is true, and if the child hadn't been abused and in danger before the exchange of physical custody, then I actually commend these people for making a good choice. (Though they certainly should have given up the dog too.) I just can't help thinking about those commercials from when I was a kid.

Sure. They let themselves get to that point. They didn't choose to get help sooner. But, if this story is what really happened, then they finally made a good decision. They shouldn't be punished for that. If this had been a family member who took the child, there wouldn't be charges filed...... Not everyone has family that is in a better, more stable situation than they are. Sometimes, you take help from where ever it's offered.

For me, the next logical jump is to Mississippi. Last week, the world held it's breath as the citizens of Mississippi voted on the definition of "personhood".... a vote that on the surface just seems absurd, but hiding in the folds were the implied possibilities to disrupt a woman's right to choose whether or not to continue a pregnancy or possibly seek assistance with fertilization.

The bill didn't pass. *bitter laugh* Don't think that means the great people of Personhood USA are finished. No.......... They've only just begun. There are plans for 9 other states to have similar bills in the upcoming 2012 elections. 9.... so far. What are the odds that it won't pass in at least one of those states? I mean, who'd have thought Bush Jr would win a re-election?

I started a post about this bill shortly before the election, and didn't get it finished. I think this is a great time to discuss the issue.

First, how can we vote on a word that is already defined?

per·son·hood 

noun

1. the state or fact of being a person.

2. the state or fact of being an individual or having human characteristics and feelings: 

This law would define personhood as beginning at the moment of conception, forget that a fertilized egg takes about three days to implant and oh, about 23 week for any reasonable chance of viability. When you consider a fertilized egg, there is nothing about it that constitutes "being an individual" or "having human characteristics and feelings."

I get that some people hold that baby makin' is "a precious miracle" but, in truth, it's not.. It's fucking biology. Until that baby squirts out, it's a parasite. Some people claim that the fact that the fetus carries your DNA makes it some sort of symbiosis, but I find that a stretch and a fairly laughable argument. It is a parasite. And now, the highly educated Joe Blows of the US are going to vote (because they are soooo qualified) to decide what you can do with your parasites.

If your argument lies in the genes, all mammals have a genetic similarity of 92% or better. Chimps are 98% similar (imagine that... not that this gives any scientific credence to evolution or anything)... What if I decided to have a chimp embryo implanted so that I could give birth to my own chimp baby? The "genetic life code" between some apes and humans is 99.4%.. My son is 99.98% genetically similar to his father..  That's a difference of 0.58 %... if you have an 8 oz glass of water and pour 0.58% of straight ethanol alcohol into it... you're probably not going to taste or feel the difference. Mathematically insignificant.  0.0464 ounces. You'd ask the bartender for your money back.

So passing this fucked up law would not only negate the progress of Roe vs Wade, but also makes the use of some birth controls illegal, such as The Morning After pill or Plan B. Even for those against abortion, it brings up the question of what would happen to unused eggs left over from IVF treatments.

I just see how horribly out of control this whole thing could get. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Approximately 75% of those happen in the first trimester. 
*Here are some  more miscarriage info.
*And still some other important pregnancy facts.

 So what happens when a totally normal and truly spontaneous miscarriage happens, and under this law someone is prosecuted because someone else thought they caused their own miscarriage? Fall down the stairs? Sure you didn't throw yourself? Forget your prenatals more often than not? Maybe you had too much sex..... This all seems absurd, yes.. but so does calling a bunch of unattached cells a "person".

And so you're wondering.. How did we get here from the horror of children disappearing, being found murdered, and suspicious stories from parents? 

Maybe it's better if some people don't procreate. Maybe some are smart enough to know they shouldn't. Don't take away their options. An actual child, who thinks and feels and dreams, could end up dead. 

Then what have you saved?

Opinions Are Like Assholes....

And I have lots.

What I have discovered about myself is that while I've very interested in debating and discussing some issues, others are absolutely non-negotiable.

RELIGION - Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love to discuss and debate religion. I have ideas, but I don't know it all, and I'm always looking for that bit of wisdom or understanding that will broaden or focus my thoughts. However, if you're using your faith to give foundation to intolerance of any sort, of any kind, you better know your literature, and you better be able to back up your beliefs with an explanation of WHY you believe the way you do. "Cuz that's how I was raised", or "The Bible says so",  just doesn't work with me.

ABORTION - Non-negotiable. I agree with abortion. I believe there is a medical purpose for it. I believe the alternative to legalization is scary. Finally, a woman should decide what to do with her body. That said, I don't like abortion. I think some people are irresponsible with it. Though I don't really view it as murder, I do still feel that it's killing a baby. (How is that different? I don't know, some sort of grey area.) I don't condemn people for it, but it makes me sad when it isn't a desperate last resort. Lastly, though a woman should get to choose what happens to her body, I can't help but feel that a man should have a say in what happens to his child. That said, wow... what a mess that would create if he did. So the bottom line is this : I agree with abortion and there's no debate in the issue.

GAY RIGHTS - Non-negotiable. I cannot debate this topic with any sort of reason or understanding for people who don't, in some way, believe as I do on this issue. I don't want to hear you spew your fucked-up God-shit. I don't want to hear you refer to mental illness. And if you think it's disgusting, quit being a pervert and mind your own damn bedroom! Oh? You don't want to offend me? Well, YOU DO! You're talking about my friends, my family, my coworkers. People I love, and every time you open your hateful, ignorant mouth on the subject I find myself fantasizing about ripping your fucking tongue out.

*breathe* (See, I'm fairly firm on that issue.)

EVOLUTION - Debatable. I believe in evolution, but I can learn more and I'm not opposed to hearing from both sides. I tend to stand on the side of science, so give me your science you op'posers'!! (Little hint... You can't use the Bible or religion as "proof" against evolution. 1. God made Adam from the mud, it doesn't say how long it took him, and 2. The Bible isn't science.)

CAPITOL PUNISHMENT - Kind of non-negotiable. I believe in the death penalty. I believe that some people can't be rehabilitated. I don't believe in Life Without Parole. If a dog is especially vicious and has killed someone, the dog gets put down. If it's repeatedly attacked people, it gets put down. I don't think people should be treated any differently. You don't put a dog in a little kennel and wait till it dies. You peacefully put it down. I don't believe in hanging, firing squads, electric chairs, or gas chambers. Just put the person down. I don't believe that the death penalty should be used as a deterrent or a punishment. I believe it's a solution to a problem. I think that keeping "Lifers" is a drain on finances and a risk to the staff that have to care for them.

MEDICINAL MARIJUANA - I can totally debate this one, though I'm pretty firm on my opinion. My argument against legalization isn't a moral, but an ethical issue with the way that it's happened. Being that we are a republic, our government is set up that supposedly the States get to make their own rules as long as they fall within the Federal government's guidelines. (In a nutshell..lol) But on the issue of marijuana, the States shouldn't be allowed to make these choices because the Federal government has decided that it's a Schedule 1 Drug. The Federal government has made it illegal and and deemed it to have no medicinal purpose.  I totally don't agree with this scheduling and most of the rational and informed people of this country probably wouldn't agree that pot is worse than heroin. I just disagree with the legality of the process with which it was made legal (here in Oregon and several other states).

(HOLY CRAP!!! Do you know Samoas have 70 calories EACH?)

I could go on. Gun laws, legalize prostitution, sex ed in schools, government-sanctioned breeding laws, career-welfare moochers..... some of those, I'm sure you can guess where I stand...

Anyway, it's late and I'm getting tired.
Yay, American Idol is back!! I like a few, but Casey Abrams stands out for me at the moment. (Ohhh and the Asperger's boy.)

Here are a couple of links to things that inspired this little rant. Mostly, it's not the pieces themselves, but the some of the comments people posted to them that got me all riled up.

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/02/24/new.york.billboard.abortion/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn#

http://kezi.com/news/local/205484

Canadian Judge Sides With Prostitutes.....

"Key provisions of Canada's prostitution law were struck down Tuesday by an Ontario judge who said they endangered the people they were meant to protect." ~CNN story.

Currently, in Canada, it's not illegal to earn money and file taxes as a sex worker, it's just illegal to do what you're being paid for. The main argument in the case seems to have been that this prevents sex workers from opening an establishment to work out of, therefore forces sex workers into more dangerous situations on the streets.

The judge found that this was an infringement of the sex workers' constitutional rights. In 30 days, within the province of Ontario, this will no longer be illegal. The Canadian Supreme Court is now evaluating whether they will block it, or allow it for the entire country.

My personal view on prostitution? Really, I'm on the fence. I initially think that it's not a good thing. I think that a lot of women are sucked into a demeaning, abusive, unsafe lifestyle. They become trapped by their addictions and have a hard time getting out. Yes, this is stereotyping. Yes, this is based on our current situation of prostitution being illegal in the majority of the US and women conducting their business in dirty alleys, with nasty pimps who purposefully keep them addicted to drugs. Yes, I know this is not always the situation.... maybe not even the total norm. This is my initial thought when the issue of prostitution is brought up.

On further review, my thoughts differ a bit. First, it's called "the oldest profession in the world" for a reason. Who am I to take away the one sure-fire way any woman has to put a roof over her head and food in her belly? If nothing else, a man can almost always fall back on hard physical labor... Women are not always capable of doing the same labors as a man.

Then, you have to consider, some women like it. I like sex. Superficially, it doesn't seem like a bad thing to get paid for doing what you love. No Mom, that doesn't mean I would do it... I guess I kind of view it as I do abortion... It might not be right for me, but who am I to say what's right for someone else?

I've had a great many discussions with Sandra on this issue since she moved to Australia where prostitution is legal. Their system seems pretty responsible and functional.

Ｉbelieve you are required to be a member of the sex worker's union. You have to go in for regular STD testing. I believe you have to work for an establishment (not on the streets). You have to pay taxes. And, I could totally be wrong about this one, but I think that condoms are not optional. I'm sure that there are many more rules and regulations, but those are the ones that obviously impressed me the most. (Sandra, feel free to correct me or fill in blanks. Please.)

I think a system like this is great. One, I think the likelihood of abuse and entrapment is greatly decreased. I think an environment such as this provides for the women who WANT to be in that profession and makes it harder for women who don't. Two, it is a great attempt to protect both the workers and the clients from disease.... Sure, you will probably always have alley hookers who are working for their next fix, but it gives people a healthy option.

I don't know that I had totally sorted my thoughts out on this matter until today.. One of the great/annoying things about CNN's articles is that the average moron can post their thoughts and opinions on the articles... Sometimes it takes hearing what those idiots have to say, before you can solidify your own viewpoint.

  *trollthis 

there you go....easier access to ugly hookers...isn't that what every country really needs?  ~ ..... if you were a proprietor of a brothel, wouldn't you want the cream of the crop? Well, if I were to buy a little fun, I'd go to the place with the pretty hookers.

  *edrury101

Prostitution creates an economic imbalance in out society just like gambling and extreme drug abuse. -?? How does that even make sense?

*edrury101

Men love women. Prostitution is an easy sell. Too easy in fact. A man spending money for a prostitute has less money to feed his kids and pay his mortgage.  - WOW... I find this a lot like telling your 5 year old, "it's not your fault you stole that candy bar, the store shouldn't have put it there... too much temptation." or "Your Honor, it's not my fault I raped that girl... you should have seen what she was wearing..." 

On another note, so the moron spent his mortgage money on a piece of ass and can't pay his bills, BUT THE PROSTITUTE CAN... and her kids are eating steak tonight! 

People who are irresponsible with their money will blow it regardless of whether or not it's on a hooker, crack, or a new Harley - get real! The real issue isn't the immoral acts of the sex workers, it's the immoral, irresponsible act of the John in this idiot's scenario. Hmmmm? Feed my kids or buy a blow job? If you're asking yourself THAT question, you have way more serious issues. Put the blame where it belongs. And truly, someone like that? It doesn't matter if prostitution is legalized... No one would chose a blow job over feeding their child just because getting said blow job is now decriminalized!

Talk Thursday: So I Have To Ask....?

So I have to ask...... Why do the people I know prefer to call me for medical advice, instead of their doctor? For the most part, I don't mind.... The investigation part is interesting for me, but I'm not a doctor, or a nurse... I'm a freaking secretary. Albeit an ER Unit Secretary, but my medical training is INCREDIBLY limited.

It started several years ago when a roommate had some lab work done and came to me concerned because her glucose came back fairly elevated. I asked to see her previous levels, and then asked her if anything had changed between the normal one and the elevated one. The doc had changed some of her meds in that time. I did a little investigation and found that one of her meds was contraindicated for diabetics.... The easy answer for me would be because it must mess with your sugars.... ta dah!

Yesterday, I got two calls. Call one came from my friend who broke her leg and just got out of the hospital. She hasn't pooped in a week and wanted to take a laxative, but the box says that if you're pregnant, call your health care professional.. My advice: Call your pharmacist.

The second one came at 2300, from a friend that just had lab work done and her Vitamin D came back low..... Why would that be? What causes that? Hmmm, I know she's outside a lot... No, she doesn't drink milk... But I also know that Vit D isn't a standard chemistry screen, so why did her doctor test it? I asked what meds she's one so I can investigate those.... Albuterol and a thyroid drug.. Hmmmmm, Vit D isn't really a vitamin, it's a hormone... FIve minutes later, I confirm... It's either due to the med or her thyroid hormone. I tell her to take the supplement her doc prescribed and send her a list for a Vit D rich diet. (It's always easier for your body to utilize what it gleans from food sources rather than supplements).

Last week, a friend without medical insurance calls me.. She's pretty sure she has pitted keratolysis, but can't afford to go to the doctor if she doesn't HAVE too. I get this. I did some investigation.. If she is right, it's caused by bacteria when the feet get hot and sweaty. She's a waitress.. duh. So, home remedies... I explain to her that if she went to the doctor they might give her a topical or oral erythromycin. Bacteria is pretty sensitive to pH, so I suggest she do vinegar baths and alternate with tea baths (tannin will dry out the affected area) and get some tea tree oil and use that topically. Also, change your socks, cotton, several times a day and alternate shoes, don't ever wear the same pair two days in a row. Go barefoot as much as possible. Unfortunately, there's no way to tell if my suggested treatment would really work, because she keeps forgetting and will probably go to the doctor anyway.

My favorite call ever... About 3 weeks ago, I was at Ash's house (yes, the broken-legged laxative friend) and an exboyfriend started blowing up my phone. I ignored the first 6 calls, 6 calls in 20 minutes, then finally answered a bit annoyed. "What? Is someone dying? What's your freaking emergency?"
He responds in a frantic voice, "It IS an emergency!"
Me: Ok.... what's going on?
Idiot: Well, I don't know what to do... It's embarrassing and I don't want to go to a doctor...
Me (Rolls eyes) : Ok... What's going on?
Idiot: Well, I've been going to the pool a lot. And swimming.
Me (No shit? Is that what those are for?) To him: uh huh?
Idiot: And I had my lady friend shave my body.... my whole body.

(Did I mention we've been broken up for two years? All I can think is, poor lady friend!)

Me: Ok?
Idiot: And this is really embarrassing.... I have an ingrown hair, I think, on my asshole.
Me: ..............................................*choke back laugh*........ ok..?
Idiot: And I don't want to go have some doctor guy look at my asshole. My lady friend looked... I don't know what to do.. It hurts... Should I pop it? I called my mom and she said to sit in a warm salt bath. I called my cousin, and he said stab it with a needle... I called my other cousin and she said to have my lady friend squeeze it... My aunt said to leave it alone and go to the ER... What do I do?

Me: ............................................ Um, How long have you had it?
Idiot:  30 minutes!
Me (In my head: and you called me 7 times and half of your family?) To him (Still trying desperately to not laugh) : Well, Epsom Salt  bath would be good...  If it is an ingrown hair, or something of that type, that will help it come to a head... (but..I'm thinking probably a rrhoid) Yeah, ummm, I wouldn't squeeze it or STAB it... There's a fairly significant blood vessel that runs around your anus..... don't go stabbing at it. Really, there are several possibilities of what it could be.... But I don't want to look at it... Really, I'm not going to look at it... Ummm, if it gets significantly worse, or doesn't seem to get better in the next 4 or 5 days... You're going to have to have a professional look at your ass.. Sorry.

At this point, Idiot starts ranting and raving to the point that everyone in the room is staring at me with shit eating grins on their face and now the kids are interested too!

Me: Don't yell at me, dumbass, I'm not a damned doctor, most certainly not an ass doctor. You want a better opinion, go show someone your ass! Otherwise, chill out. You aren't bleeding. You're not going to die... at this point. (DAMN!) Wait and see how it goes.. it's been 30-fucking-minutes! Ohhh.. and quit shaving your asshole!

And I hung up!

Everyone knows you're supposed to wax it! Sheesh!

Talk Thursday: Respect in the Morning.....

It figures, huh? I haven't done a Talk Thursday in quite awhile.. and this is the one that strikes a chord..... LOL.

When I was younger, there were a few birthdays that my mom got my annual numerology reading or a few times that we went to psychic fairs and had our cards read.... Somewhere, at some point... I was told that my life lessons this time around was to "learn to temper drugs, alcohol, and sex..." Looking back, I have to wonder (just a tiny bit) if that was mom's way of slipping in the message... Did you slip someone a $20 to give me that message? hehehe

I've done pretty good with the drugs and alcohol.... I tried pot... that was all I was brave enough to have a go at, and OMG it makes me horribly ill. Alcohol, I had enough examples of who I didn't want to turn out like, and a strong mother who never hid the ugly truths, so drinking was never much of an issue. Sex...... Well, who hasn't made bad choices, right?

I think I've finally figured out the sex thing... When your younger, despite all the sage advice a young girl is given, sex is still the bloody weapon that hangs over your head to threaten your happiness. "He wouldn't want to if he didn't like me," or "He won't like me if I don't." As an adult, I've finally come into my own. I don't need a man in my life to make me whole. Yes, it would be nice... but it isn't required. I've learned to listen to what the man says, not try to interpret what he does.... cuz men aren't that smart. If they say they don't want a relationship but still want to have sex. It's just sex.. No hidden agenda. They don't play games like girls do... "Ya get what ya get."

Most important.... In the end, it doesn't matter if HE respects you in the morning... What matters is, will YOU respect YOURSELF in the morning? Men come and go, but you have to live with yourself forever. If you can, that's all that matters.

For the last month, I've been turning down sex on a regular basis.. and to be honest... part of me is like "PSAM!!! what are you doing??" But the sane, logical part knows that I wouldn't be able to respect myself... Too many personal rules would be broken. We've been friends for several years. We've screwed around before, just never closed the deal. But... I have someone else that I see on occasion... We're not "in a relationship", but you shouldn't take your car to multiple mechanics.... right? And.. this friend, he has a live in girlfriend.. who I've met, who is sweet and nice- and that would just be wrong. He's tried to tell me it would just be once.. to get it out of the way.. but if you break the rules once... it makes it easier to break the rules a second, third, or who knows how many times. Monogamy isn't just for marriage, it keeps the vagina healthy and happy! and well, your vagina is your best friend.

So my other "friend" that I've mentioned... we collaborate on occasion. No relationship, we've both agreed that isn't what we're looking for in one another... His sister is a good friend of mine, we spend a lot of time together as we're neighbors and our kids are close friends... Yesterday, he got drunk and tried  to tell me that if I continued to be friends with his sister, then he and I couldn't be friends anymore.... Ohhh no you didn't! We had just had this conversation the day before... That I will not be controlled or have my actions dictated to me. I don't know what the hell he was trying to prove... But that shit don't fly with me. I politely responded, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's your choice."  Apparently, he sobered up pretty quick, cuz he was like "Ohhh honey, baby, I'm sorry..."

My mama taught me that boys only call you "baby" to manipulate you. Not exactly her words, and I've broadened the lesson a bit.. but same diff.

Anyways... I think I've learned my lessons. I've got this!

Thank you mom!

Ugggg....

I worked 11 hours yesterday and got home and in bed at almost 2 am. I have to be back to work at a quarter to 10 am. What was I thinking? Ohhhhhh, money.. That's right. (Little secret, just between you and me..... I should have been born independently wealthy.... Love my mom as I do, I'm sure the stork delivered me to the wrong place...... *sigh*)

I didn't sleep for shit last night. The first several times I drifted off, I was startled awake because, I swear to Buddha, Someone was calling my name. Female, and unhappy. Whoever you were, I didn't get the whole message.. Next time, don't psychically berate me at 2 am, just text. I'll get it in the morning. Sorry I pissed you off.

Then I had a dream someone sneaked up behind me and choked me out. A bright flash of orange light and a painful inability to breath. I must either have a really guilty conscious, or I really have pissed someone off. Look, I'm sorry!

Then I had a porn dream about one of my gay friends.. That was so weird, I had to text him and tell him as soon as I woke up. Which I'm sure he won't get for HOURS... it's Sunday and I'm sure he didn't get into bed until at least 2 am too. (He does have a boob thing when he's drinking... )

What would Freud say?

Then I got an email to "Join Match.com today!" FUCK THAT! I'd probably get a guy who's really a girl and angry about it and chokes me out! I've watched plenty of daytime talk shows. If he won't let you see his penis, OMG... you better make sure he has one!!!
No match.com for me, I can read the signs.

I Am SO Riled Up!!!!

So I was reading this CNN article on the practice of female circumcision in the US by some African and Muslim immigrants. I've long thought this practice is horrific. But I feel this way about male circumcision, as well.

When I was in high school I had an amazing biology teacher who really forced us to think outside of the box. When the class discussed abortion, you never knew really where he stood on the issue. He was great. One day the topic of male circumcision came up and he very scientifically informed us of the history of the practice and how it didn't become popular with the English speaking world until about 1900. At that point, it became a widespread practice because society determined that little boys couldn't be taught to keep themselves clean.  Studies also show that circumcision does cause decreased sensitivity to the head of the penis.

I do have to say that I feel most forms of "female circumcision" are less like circumcision and more like castration. While male circumcision does decrease sexual pleasure, there are some drastic differences in practices. Boys are generally done as infants, are usually not "maimed" for life (though it depends on your definition of maimed), local anesthesia is often used, and can generally be considered a minor procedure. Female circumcision is done any time from infancy to puberty (most commonly at puberty, it seems), usually means the labia are either cut off or sewn together and/or the clitoris is cut off or completely excised, and there is no anesthesia.

People argue that this is their religion and in the US you have the right to practice your religion. Well, I'm sorry. There are a few instances where I have to say "fuck your religion". If someone opts to have this done to themselves when they reach adulthood, go for it. But no way in hell a parent should be allowed to force this on their child.

When I was pregnant with Burp, I alarmed some guys I knew when I approached them to ask how they felt about male circumcision. I didn't ask if they were or weren't, I asked if they felt it should have been their choice. The resounding  reply was, "Yes, they wished they'd had a choice." That sealed the deal for me. My son is not circumcised. If he chooses to have it done when he's older, great... I'll even help pay for it. But it will be his choice.

Interestingly, Wikipedia cites the World Health Organization as concluding that 30% of the world's males are circumcised, 68% of those are Muslim. In the US, 85% of males born in the 60's were circumcised as opposed to 56% in 2005.

Among men (aged 15 years or older) who are neither Jews nor Muslims, the overall prevalence of circumcision in the UK is 6% according to the WHO's estimates.
The thing that really, really amazed me was the comments people made to this article. I was astounded by the misinformation and ignorance out there.

- Male circumcision is for cleanliness and if anything increases sexual pleasure.

- Male circumcision is right because it comes from Christianity and bilble(scientific) and lot of christian scientists supports it. Female circumcision is wrong because it doesn't come from Christianity and bible. If you have your removed/cut then you better supports it. (This one just makes me LMFAO)


- There is a health benefit for male circumcision, just ask people that haven't been and see if they ever had an infection. (Also ask them how thoroughly they clean themselves and how often!)

- What shame Islam has brought to us and to themselves.

- Uncircumcised men provide more pleasure for women in bed.

- Circumcising a male is nothing more than a cosmetic alteration. [Which is proven to lower bacteria population on the genitals] (So does regular cleansing)


- Male circumcision is certainly a Christian tradition, depending on the sect.

- It's time for people who immigrate to the US or Canada to start acting like Americans.  (hahaha can't Canadians act like Canadians??)


- Actually more and more people are not circumcising baby boys these days. The practice is become less common because frankly more people are Agnostic or Atheist. (Perhaps this is not due to a lack of religion but the increased scientific awareness I have noticed in the Agnostics and Atheists I know.)

People kill me!!

Talk Thursday: Sex and Tattoos

Can I stop at recommending that you not do the two at the same time?

I love tattoos. I have two... The first is a statement toward the stupidity of youth. Over anxious and trusting of a boy with a mickey moused race track controller... Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. Now I look like I have a sock monkey on my ankle.

Sex.... I'm a big fan. I was blessed with a mom I could really talk to. In the first grade all the big kids on the bus gave me the birds and the bees talk, with which I ran home, asked my mom to have a seat, then proceeded to tell her all I'd learned. She was a good sport about it. (I think I'd shit myself) But she simply nodded or shook her head. "Yes, that's true." "Well, no.. that's not exactly true." "Ohhhhh, well... I could see how that might be true."
At about 12 I learned what a blow job was. I might have learned in the first grade... or in the third grade... when Grant used to take me and Shawna into the sandunes and have us read Penthouse to him... (You didn't know about that..... He was a pervert.. but nothing bad happened, I promise.) Anyways... maybe at 12 I rediscovered the concept of a blowjob... which I thought was GROSS. And when I asked mom about the validity of this concept, she confirmed. And when I when I said, "Ewwwww!" she said "Ohhh trust me, some day your opinion will change." At 14 I confirmed that she was right.

I think my mom THINKS she knows when I lost my virginity. You think it was Corey. I remember coming home a little late for dinner. I think I had a smug look, you assumed something had happened... I confirmed. But this was not my first.........

It was less than 2 weeks after my 17th birthday... and I was supposed to be going to the high school for the Varsity double header against Reedsport. Both boys and girls teams were playing that night. And that is why I never confessed, because I lied about going to that game. I DID walk towards school, but before I got there BW pulled up in his Scirocco and asked me if I wanted a ride. (Admittedly, he'd been trying to get a little for years and I had known him since the 2nd grade when we used to play Star Wars on the playground equipment.)

Since we had extra time, we went to the beach- and one thing led to another. And I lost my virginity in the front seat of a Scirocco on the beach. And you MIGHT think that that's horrible... unromantic... SCREW romantic.. It was probably the best sex of my life.. and that is sad... but it gives me a goal.

At one point, after nearly kicking out the windshield, I was like "OMG, what was that?"
He laughed, "I think you just had your first orgasm."
Then he proceeded to give me two more. A true gentleman.

I discovered that I am incredibly fortunate in the orgasm department. I can have them inside, outside, upside down. 1 fish, 2 fish, 3 fish, 4. My max is 11 in one go.

And I'm always like, "Can we do it again?"
Or like Oliver Twist, "Please, sir, I want some more."

Sorry mom, another case of TMI.

Name Callers

So last night at Cub Scouts, my friend and I were hiding from the rain, and prying eyes, under a big ponderosa pine smoking and bullshitting because both of our boys seem to do better without us around. To be honest, I have no idea what we were initially talking about, but her response (admittedly joking- in that "it's-true-but-I-don't-care" way) was, "Ohhh right, but you're the nonbeliever."
    Why do people say that? If people really want to point fingers, can't they do it accurately? Couldn't they call me the you-believe-too-much-er?

So I asked, "Nonbeliever? Like I don't believe that the Bible is The Divine Truth set down by God through man? True, I believe the Bible is a historically inspired fiction intended to teach man humanity, morality, and community. Like I don't believe that Jesus was The Christ, The Messiah, incarnate from the Virgin Mary, and no more the "Son of God" than you or I? True. I believe that Jesus was a prophet, like Abraham, Mohammad, and Buddha. Nonbeliever, like I don't believe that I have the knowledge or comprehension to be able to name one religion more "true" than another, nor one definition or interpretation of "God" to be more correct than the next? True. So I choose to learn what I can of all of them and respect all as different interpretations of the same, being unique and significant in their own way."

I am an Omnist. I think. It seems to fit. But then who knows? For so long I thought I was a pagan based on my polytheistic views, only to find that there's a better word for it - omnitheistic. Or does that fall into the pagan category too? Why do I struggle to label myself? Maybe because so much of the world tries to and gets it so wrong. Everyone has to fit into an easily defined category. Well, I don't. My beliefs don't.
Faith isn't a prepackaged frozen pizza with limited choice of toppings. Faith knows only the bounds of your heart and mind. Sometimes that faith doesn't fit into a religion. Have you ever tried to put 20 or more helium balloons into too small a car? That's how I feel on both sides of the issue. Stubborn, persistent jubilance and frantic stuffing - just trying to make it fit.

Talk Thursday: Life Altering Truths

There have been a few "Life Altering Truths" for me.. Things that changed the way I thought, the way I looked at life.

#3 John Grisham's The Chamber
Before reading this book, I was an avid believer in an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I believed that murderers and rapist and molesters should have done to them exactly what was done to their victims. After reading this book, I still believe in the death penalty, but I believe now that death shouldn't be a punishment, but a solution to a problem that can't be solved by other means. I realized that humanity is what separated us from them, and if we take pleasure or satisfaction in the "act" of the death penalty, then we are no different than they are... we just have a slightly more deserving victim. I now support the death penalty, but by lethal injection only, because I AM NOT like they are.

#2 The Lie of Abraham Lincoln
 As children we are taught that the Great Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves....
In high school, we were finally taught that Abraham Lincoln was simply a Great Politician, and did no such thing. My world was shattered when I discovered that Good 'ol Abe only freed the slaves in the Confederate States who didn't recognize him as president anyway and the Border States were allowed to keep their slaves until the ratification of the 13th Amendment.

When the truth was revealed, I not only lost faith in the validity of the history our country teaches it's children, but lost a hero in the process. And I share a birthday with the bum.

#1 Sweet Baby Jesus
 As children the churches, and I went to almost all of them, teach you that Sweet Baby Jesus loves everyone equally, died for our sins, and that one day we would all join him in Heaven. They seem to ignore that Sweet Baby Jesus did all of his saving as an adult, but hey, all kids like babies. They don't tell you that there is such a thing as "Age of Accountability" after which Jesus only died for your sins if you, at the very least, "ask him into your heart" or get baptized. And then, not every one gets to Heaven and, depending on the religion, if you do get there, you probably won't get to his level anyway. 

In truth, my problem isn't with the belief structures, it's with the way they dupe kids into thinking one way, only to spring the rules and regulations on them when they're finally deemed old enough to handle it. (For most of Christianity the "Age of Accountability"  is 12, the Roman Catholic church sets that age as 7, the LDS church 8. And (I know not Christian, but still) Judaism 13, Baha'i 15...  they can't even agree on a stinking age, no wonder there's wars.) After this point, you're only loved if you're forgiven and that's only if you pray for it, have communion, love the opposite sex, don't ingest caffeine, don't have sex unless married to the opposite sex, don't have tattoos, don't eat pork or shrimp, and some can't dance, wear perfume, make-up, or jewelry. 

Life was so much simpler when it was "love thy neighbor as thy self", "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", and "judge not, least ye be judged".

HaHaHaHa Jesus!

Tandy took my 8 yr old son to an art exhibit. This is hysterical. Part of the exhibit was photographs of old Californian and Mexican monasteries and cathedrals. My son has periodically come to me with questions on religion, such as "What's this about a goblin that lives in the ground and steals peoples souls?" Though I am nonchristian, I am fascinated by religion and love learning about them one and all. So I answered him as best as I could, asking him if it was realistic that there was a goblin that lived in the ground, cuz everyone knows that, duh, goblins live in caves! And then I introduced him to several concepts of Satan. Some people believe this, some people believe that, what do you think? Very diplomatic I think.

So Tandy takes him to this exhibit and Burp sees his first crucifix. He is creeped out and a bit scared, for my child is wuss. His reaction is the 8 yr old equivalent of "OMG, WTF is THAT?" Then he sees a depiction of the Christ resurrected and is doubly freaked out. "WHAT? HE CAME BACK TO LIFE? Come on Tandy, Let's RUN!! I DON'T LIKE THAT JESUS GUY. HE'S SCARY!!"

My child is deathly afraid of ghosts and zombies. And apparently Jesus, not the sweet Baby Jesus, but the nailed-to-the-cross-and-3-days-later-came-back-from-the-dead Jesus falls in the ghost and zombies category. Not so unreasonable when you break down the facts.

I'm sure in a few days or weeks he'll come to me with questions, which I'm certain will be a fun conversation. God then sex. ugg when does parenthood end?

Not Everything is about YOU!

I am thirty-three. I don't feel like it. I compare myself to my mom at my age, and wow! we are so different. She was married, had me, so responsible, no social life (sorry mom) - mature. I'm not always so mature. I think marriage is evil. I do put my son before all else. I try to be responsible. I try desperately to have a social life. And most of the time I fail at being mature.

That said... One of my best friends is in town from Oz - I haven't seen her in a year and a half and she brings out the child in me. Yay! The inner child should be embraced, coddled, and taken out for ice cream on occasion. Or Tequila. I hadn't been out in like 9 months, so her and some other friends invite me out to BINGO, yes bingo, at a little place called Sam Bond's Garage. This is bingo like I never knew existed. This bar is crammed full of the 21 to 40 scene getting drunk, playing bingo for lame prizes like romance novels, Star Trek posters, and free beer. They have one round where the object is not to win, but to scream the most outlandish, offensive, sailoresque insults imaginable. If you want maturity - this is NOT the place for you. That said...

Tandy and I have this little "game" we play. It usually goes something like this...
Tandi : "Bitch"
Me: "Cunt"
Tandi: "Cum guzzler"
On and on until something like "Peg-legged 2 cent gutter slut" is reached.
The object of this playfully childish name calling is not to insult or offend, it is merely to stump your opponent. To come up with a better jab than the other until your opponent is stumped, and you win!

So to try to wrap this up...I fear I must mention I'd indulged in two double shots of tequila and was feeling pretty good. Tandi called me a tranny, which I have to admit I first used about 3 years ago. We were with our friend and one of her friends, Rob. Unbeknownst to us, Rob will soon be Robin... and was totally offended. Now, we don't dislike or discriminate against transgenders, bitches, cunts, or cum guzzlers for that matter. In fact, several of those labels admittedly apply to both of us at times. But Rob/Robin was incredibly wounded and as they walked back to their car, asked our friend, "How can you be friends with such conservative Republicans?"
................ conservative Republicans.................?
I am a nonchristian, single parent with tattoos and several facial piercings. And most definitely NOT republican. I VOTED FOR OBAMA! I have a bumper sticker that proclaims "Not retarded, just over joyed" -a Green Day reference. Above that is a large Eye of Rha. I am NOT republican. and what Rob/Robin doesn't realize is that, hands down, he/she won that round. For I am totally stumped.

For all of about 10 seconds, I felt horrible. But then I put it into perspective, how would I react if a bitch, a cunt, cum guzzler, or a peg-legged gutter slut heard me and was offended? I'd laugh. If you are an easily offended member of a subculture perhaps you should introduce yourself as such... "Hi. Nice to meet you. My name will soon be Robin. Don't mind the testicles. Please don't make tranny jokes.. or even say tranny. FOR I AM EASILY OFFENDED."