Talk Thursday: Respect in the Morning.....

It figures, huh? I haven't done a Talk Thursday in quite awhile.. and this is the one that strikes a chord..... LOL.

When I was younger, there were a few birthdays that my mom got my annual numerology reading or a few times that we went to psychic fairs and had our cards read.... Somewhere, at some point... I was told that my life lessons this time around was to "learn to temper drugs, alcohol, and sex..." Looking back, I have to wonder (just a tiny bit) if that was mom's way of slipping in the message... Did you slip someone a $20 to give me that message? hehehe

I've done pretty good with the drugs and alcohol.... I tried pot... that was all I was brave enough to have a go at, and OMG it makes me horribly ill. Alcohol, I had enough examples of who I didn't want to turn out like, and a strong mother who never hid the ugly truths, so drinking was never much of an issue. Sex...... Well, who hasn't made bad choices, right?

I think I've finally figured out the sex thing... When your younger, despite all the sage advice a young girl is given, sex is still the bloody weapon that hangs over your head to threaten your happiness. "He wouldn't want to if he didn't like me," or "He won't like me if I don't." As an adult, I've finally come into my own. I don't need a man in my life to make me whole. Yes, it would be nice... but it isn't required. I've learned to listen to what the man says, not try to interpret what he does.... cuz men aren't that smart. If they say they don't want a relationship but still want to have sex. It's just sex.. No hidden agenda. They don't play games like girls do... "Ya get what ya get."

Most important.... In the end, it doesn't matter if HE respects you in the morning... What matters is, will YOU respect YOURSELF in the morning? Men come and go, but you have to live with yourself forever. If you can, that's all that matters.

For the last month, I've been turning down sex on a regular basis.. and to be honest... part of me is like "PSAM!!! what are you doing??" But the sane, logical part knows that I wouldn't be able to respect myself... Too many personal rules would be broken. We've been friends for several years. We've screwed around before, just never closed the deal. But... I have someone else that I see on occasion... We're not "in a relationship", but you shouldn't take your car to multiple mechanics.... right? And.. this friend, he has a live in girlfriend.. who I've met, who is sweet and nice- and that would just be wrong. He's tried to tell me it would just be once.. to get it out of the way.. but if you break the rules once... it makes it easier to break the rules a second, third, or who knows how many times. Monogamy isn't just for marriage, it keeps the vagina healthy and happy! and well, your vagina is your best friend.

So my other "friend" that I've mentioned... we collaborate on occasion. No relationship, we've both agreed that isn't what we're looking for in one another... His sister is a good friend of mine, we spend a lot of time together as we're neighbors and our kids are close friends... Yesterday, he got drunk and tried  to tell me that if I continued to be friends with his sister, then he and I couldn't be friends anymore.... Ohhh no you didn't! We had just had this conversation the day before... That I will not be controlled or have my actions dictated to me. I don't know what the hell he was trying to prove... But that shit don't fly with me. I politely responded, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's your choice."  Apparently, he sobered up pretty quick, cuz he was like "Ohhh honey, baby, I'm sorry..."

My mama taught me that boys only call you "baby" to manipulate you. Not exactly her words, and I've broadened the lesson a bit.. but same diff.

Anyways... I think I've learned my lessons. I've got this!

Thank you mom!