Can I stop at recommending that you not do the two at the same time?
I love tattoos. I have two... The first is a statement toward the stupidity of youth. Over anxious and trusting of a boy with a mickey moused race track controller... Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. Now I look like I have a sock monkey on my ankle.
Sex.... I'm a big fan. I was blessed with a mom I could really talk to. In the first grade all the big kids on the bus gave me the birds and the bees talk, with which I ran home, asked my mom to have a seat, then proceeded to tell her all I'd learned. She was a good sport about it. (I think I'd shit myself) But she simply nodded or shook her head. "Yes, that's true." "Well, no.. that's not exactly true." "Ohhhhh, well... I could see how that might be true."
At about 12 I learned what a blow job was. I might have learned in the first grade... or in the third grade... when Grant used to take me and Shawna into the sandunes and have us read Penthouse to him... (You didn't know about that..... He was a pervert.. but nothing bad happened, I promise.) Anyways... maybe at 12 I rediscovered the concept of a blowjob... which I thought was GROSS. And when I asked mom about the validity of this concept, she confirmed. And when I when I said, "Ewwwww!" she said "Ohhh trust me, some day your opinion will change." At 14 I confirmed that she was right.
I think my mom THINKS she knows when I lost my virginity. You think it was Corey. I remember coming home a little late for dinner. I think I had a smug look, you assumed something had happened... I confirmed. But this was not my first.........
It was less than 2 weeks after my 17th birthday... and I was supposed to be going to the high school for the Varsity double header against Reedsport. Both boys and girls teams were playing that night. And that is why I never confessed, because I lied about going to that game. I DID walk towards school, but before I got there BW pulled up in his Scirocco and asked me if I wanted a ride. (Admittedly, he'd been trying to get a little for years and I had known him since the 2nd grade when we used to play Star Wars on the playground equipment.)
Since we had extra time, we went to the beach- and one thing led to another. And I lost my virginity in the front seat of a Scirocco on the beach. And you MIGHT think that that's horrible... unromantic... SCREW romantic.. It was probably the best sex of my life.. and that is sad... but it gives me a goal.
At one point, after nearly kicking out the windshield, I was like "OMG, what was that?"
He laughed, "I think you just had your first orgasm."
Then he proceeded to give me two more. A true gentleman.
I discovered that I am incredibly fortunate in the orgasm department. I can have them inside, outside, upside down. 1 fish, 2 fish, 3 fish, 4. My max is 11 in one go.
And I'm always like, "Can we do it again?"
Or like Oliver Twist, "Please, sir, I want some more."
Sorry mom, another case of TMI.
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3 comments:
Actually I remember our first conversation about sex VERY VERY WELL. You came home from the school bus and told me you'd heard about some aspect of sex. I said "Psam, while kids will talk they don't always get it right. If you want to know something come ask me, don't just take it for granted that they know because they are older." (I mean really Grant had to have six year olds read Penthouse to him.)
And you said, "No, mom I already know about sex (then you pretty much explained it to a tee) I want to know if such and such (okay take out one of the verys before well, because I can't remember what act is was, but it might have been blow jobs.) I asked where did you learn about sex? From your dad? (yeah sure!) and you said, and I parapharse, "No mom, from a chicken film that S.I.'s mom got him." All I knew was I was relived it was a discussion I wasn't going to have to have with you in depth.
Ohmigawd it was a blow job because you said you'd heard Smurf offer to suck on Joel One's "pee pee". Crap you guys were five.
And yes, I knew that it was BW. I remember us having a conversation about it during a drive to drop you off at someone's house on Clearlake Road. My view point was something more to the effect of, she's going to do it (God, knows I did - but please don't tell my mom) you needed to have someone more that you could talk to, than someone you needed to lie to. I'd rather that person be me - not someone who would stab you in the back later on and make your life living hell.
Tracy moved from Clearlake before freshman year...... 2+ years before I did it.. That would have been when I gave the BJ, cuz that happened at her house..
And I don't remember a chicken movie... I remember a book S.I's mom got him.... boy did that give us stuff to ponder.
It's amazing how people change. I was the good little girl who didn't even learn how masturbation happened property until I was about 15 because my mother would beat the crap out of me if I ever asked about things like that or dared to find a book somewhere. You were a pervert if you thought about such things in my family. I lost my virginity when I was nearly 18 and for a long time was that girl who thought that anyone who had non-vanilla sex was disgusting and a degenerate. Aaaaaand a mere 8 years later....
I didn't learn about how sex happened until I was 12 and read a book that a friend had. I remember being horrified. Most kids would ask their friends but you get to a certain point where it's just to embarrassing to admit that you don't know. I do remember my mother offering to give me a ring of hers that she knew I liked if I promised not to have sex until marriage (this is when I was about 14). I declined, telling her that I didn't think I was going to wait for marriage and didn't want to make any promises.
She was horrified.
As far as tattoos go, I can't think of anything I like enough to have it permanently on my body. Maybe when I have, I'll get a tattoo.
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