I had a boyfriend once who threw around the phrase "white trash" all the time. I didn't even realize that I'd picked it up, until my mom threw it back at me one day. Lesson learned.
I have this "friend". She uses the phrase often when talking about another friend of mine and her children. She won't let her son play with them and she wrinkles her nose when she talks about them. For the most part, I let it go. It does cause problems because my son plays with the "forbidden" kids every day, and her son whines about not being able to play... but I don't allow ditching one friend for another. Though I feel bad for the kid, it makes it a bit easier for me because I no longer have to force other kids to play with him. (He whines and cries if he doesn't get enough attention or if things don't go the way he wants and being that he looks older than he is or acts, the other kids often don't know how to deal with him.) Our boys play well one on one, but her son just doesn't do well in groups.
My "friends" don't have to be friends and I don't have to agree with her. Sure the "white trash" family has it's issues. But the kids are sweet kids and mom tries her best to be a good mom. You do the best with what you've got. The name-caller friend, truthfully, should look in the mirror before she starts pointing fingers.
So today, I got devastating news from the so-called white trash friend. The eye doctor thinks her 7-year old daughter has a brain tumor. Mom is scared. She won't know anything more until Friday when the daughter has an MRI. I comforted and was supportive, and when she went home - I bawled. Looking for my own shoulder to cry on, I went to the name-caller friend.
I told her.
Her response? "That sucks.... So I think I found a sugar daddy. He's older, but he's black so he doesn't look it. We're negotiating $500 a month for one visit a week."
I was stunned. I mean, yeah... she ALWAYS tells me about her different conquests, and by her own admission, is a slut... but "That sucks" is not quite what I needed to hear.
I fired back, "You're talking about whoring yourself." Yeah... a little judgmental. Normally I would have tried my best to hide my thoughts and stuck with an, "Ohh, really?"
She shrugged, "Yeah, but I'm not going to get that kind of money any where else, and my kid needs braces."
My first thought was, who pays for their kid's braces with their vagina? Quickly followed by, "if it were my kid that possibly had a tumor, is this how you'd respond?" WTF?
Monday, April 26, 2010
jiH muS Hov veS!!!
My fear is that one day my son will be able to read that! Being that he tends to take everything literally, he will probably point out the grammatical errors and then point out the paradox of universal realities. *sigh* Totally oblivious to the intended joke.
This afternoon there was a heated argument in my living room as the kids played Lego Star Wars.
BFF: That's not Bubba Fat. That's Jango, his dad.
Burp: Boba Fett. And it's not really his dad, he's a clone and Boba just thinks Jango's his dad.
BFF: But Jango raised Bubba, so close enough.
(Ohhhh afraid not, my young Padawan. There is no "close enough".)
Burp: But Boba Fett is a clone.
BFF: ...and Bubba saved his dad from Obi One.
Burp: Boba. Obi-Wan... Ben Kenobi is the best Jedi. I am Obi-Wan.
BFF: Obi One was NOT the best Jedi. Anakin Skywalker was the best Jedi.
Burp: HE WENT OVER TO THE DARK SIDE!!
BFF: So what, that was Palpatine's fault. Anakin was the best!
Burp: HE CHOSE THE DARK SIDE!
Mom: Wrong, you are both. The strongest, fastest, and wisest, Yoda is.
Burp: MOM!!
Apparently moms have no place in arguments like this. If these were adults I would have just called them Trekkies and feigned ignorance as their faces turned purple with rage... Luckily, as of yet, they have no clue what Star Trek is. Good God, I hope it stays that way!
This afternoon there was a heated argument in my living room as the kids played Lego Star Wars.
BFF: That's not Bubba Fat. That's Jango, his dad.
Burp: Boba Fett. And it's not really his dad, he's a clone and Boba just thinks Jango's his dad.
BFF: But Jango raised Bubba, so close enough.
(Ohhhh afraid not, my young Padawan. There is no "close enough".)
Burp: But Boba Fett is a clone.
BFF: ...and Bubba saved his dad from Obi One.
Burp: Boba. Obi-Wan... Ben Kenobi is the best Jedi. I am Obi-Wan.
BFF: Obi One was NOT the best Jedi. Anakin Skywalker was the best Jedi.
Burp: HE WENT OVER TO THE DARK SIDE!!
BFF: So what, that was Palpatine's fault. Anakin was the best!
Burp: HE CHOSE THE DARK SIDE!
Mom: Wrong, you are both. The strongest, fastest, and wisest, Yoda is.
Burp: MOM!!
Apparently moms have no place in arguments like this. If these were adults I would have just called them Trekkies and feigned ignorance as their faces turned purple with rage... Luckily, as of yet, they have no clue what Star Trek is. Good God, I hope it stays that way!
Friday, April 23, 2010
I Said I Could Go On.....
I remember as a child being glued to the television as a seemingly ordinary young woman with a wondrous smile and a gorgeous dress walked down the aisle and became a real live princess. As she stood and waved from that balcony, little girls around the world had proof that fairy tales could, indeed, come true....
I understand the publicity of this. I understand the world's interest. I don't understand the years of hounding and harassment and abuse that followed the marriage, and subsequent divorce of Prince Charles and Princess Diana.
How does anyone stand up to the pressure?
We ridicule the lives of celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, or Michael Jackson and fail to realize that we made them what they became. Some say, "It's the price you pay for fame." But why do we feel that because someone sings or acts well enough to have a successful career, that their every moment and action belongs to the public? Especially those who start out so young. Could you imagine never having a normal life? I suppose most teens dream of it in some fashion, but the reality of it? Everyone fucks up on occasion, could you imagine if your biggest fuck-ups had top billing on Extra, Entertainment Tonight, or the grocery store smut racks?
Society is a crazy place. We have iconicized people for being idiots. WTF is that? Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Heidi Montag- gorgeous, yes... but do they have ANYTHING past that? You can try to say that Jessica HAD a singing career, but she was a flash in the pan and if it weren't for the fact that she's the worlds most famous moron, we would have never heard from her again.
OCTO-MOM! When the world discovered what she'd done, we covered our mouths in horror and pointed our fingers with indignation...... then offered her a television show and invited her to be on Oprah and American Idol. Way to show her!
Why are Jon and Kate famous? Cuz they had a litter of children. Then he cheated and they got even MORE famous.
I feel sorry for Tiger and Elin Woods. He fucked up. I don't condone it. But it's none of my business.
John Edwards has a love child? Other than the amazement that he got that high in politics before it came out, I'm not interested.
Does the world care if Oprah really is a lesbian? Whether it's true or not, who cares?
Is it breaking news that Charlie Sheen got caught with an escort, or drugs, or assaulted someone again? Amy Winehouse? Gary Coleman? Sean Penn hit someone? NO FUCKING WAY!
Lil' Wayne got busted for a gun? Are you kidding me? He was such a nice boy.
The bottom line is. Why do you care? Why is it any of your business? When your neighbor has an affair, do you camp out on their lawn snapping pictures and demanding explanations? Do you jump on the computer and print up fliers of the news and hand it out all over the neighborhood?
If you're interested in the guy across the street, do you go through his garbage in hopes of discovering something interesting about him? Follow him around until you know where he works, where he shops, and where he gets his favorite takeout? No, normal people have laws to protect them from that. Why should celebrities be any different?
Quit feeding the insanity. Stop making celebrities out of every jackass that pauses in the spotlight, and let real celebrities go home from work. Could you imagine if you worked 24 hours a day for the rest of your life?
If we quit giving the smut-mongers and paparazzi an audience then they no longer have a market in which to sling their slop.
It was a Saturday, August 30th, 1997. At 2200, I faded out of the music and went into the ABC News satellite feed. The lead story was one of paralyzing shock and disbelief. Princess Diana run to her death in a Paris tunnel by a swarm of rabid paparazzi and the world's starving need for just one more picture, one more bit of dirt. And I cried.
Have we learned nothing?
I understand the publicity of this. I understand the world's interest. I don't understand the years of hounding and harassment and abuse that followed the marriage, and subsequent divorce of Prince Charles and Princess Diana.
How does anyone stand up to the pressure?
We ridicule the lives of celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, or Michael Jackson and fail to realize that we made them what they became. Some say, "It's the price you pay for fame." But why do we feel that because someone sings or acts well enough to have a successful career, that their every moment and action belongs to the public? Especially those who start out so young. Could you imagine never having a normal life? I suppose most teens dream of it in some fashion, but the reality of it? Everyone fucks up on occasion, could you imagine if your biggest fuck-ups had top billing on Extra, Entertainment Tonight, or the grocery store smut racks?
Society is a crazy place. We have iconicized people for being idiots. WTF is that? Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Heidi Montag- gorgeous, yes... but do they have ANYTHING past that? You can try to say that Jessica HAD a singing career, but she was a flash in the pan and if it weren't for the fact that she's the worlds most famous moron, we would have never heard from her again.
OCTO-MOM! When the world discovered what she'd done, we covered our mouths in horror and pointed our fingers with indignation...... then offered her a television show and invited her to be on Oprah and American Idol. Way to show her!
Why are Jon and Kate famous? Cuz they had a litter of children. Then he cheated and they got even MORE famous.
I feel sorry for Tiger and Elin Woods. He fucked up. I don't condone it. But it's none of my business.
John Edwards has a love child? Other than the amazement that he got that high in politics before it came out, I'm not interested.
Does the world care if Oprah really is a lesbian? Whether it's true or not, who cares?
Is it breaking news that Charlie Sheen got caught with an escort, or drugs, or assaulted someone again? Amy Winehouse? Gary Coleman? Sean Penn hit someone? NO FUCKING WAY!
Lil' Wayne got busted for a gun? Are you kidding me? He was such a nice boy.
The bottom line is. Why do you care? Why is it any of your business? When your neighbor has an affair, do you camp out on their lawn snapping pictures and demanding explanations? Do you jump on the computer and print up fliers of the news and hand it out all over the neighborhood?
If you're interested in the guy across the street, do you go through his garbage in hopes of discovering something interesting about him? Follow him around until you know where he works, where he shops, and where he gets his favorite takeout? No, normal people have laws to protect them from that. Why should celebrities be any different?
Quit feeding the insanity. Stop making celebrities out of every jackass that pauses in the spotlight, and let real celebrities go home from work. Could you imagine if you worked 24 hours a day for the rest of your life?
If we quit giving the smut-mongers and paparazzi an audience then they no longer have a market in which to sling their slop.
It was a Saturday, August 30th, 1997. At 2200, I faded out of the music and went into the ABC News satellite feed. The lead story was one of paralyzing shock and disbelief. Princess Diana run to her death in a Paris tunnel by a swarm of rabid paparazzi and the world's starving need for just one more picture, one more bit of dirt. And I cried.
Have we learned nothing?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Talk Thursday: Things That MUST Go!
I feel that I could sit on this forever and never run out of things to add to this list, but as we must draw a line at some point....
Here it goes in no particular order....
* The disgusting act of wearing clothing 3 sizes too small. (Denial is a sad thing.)
* Companies who make skinny girl clothes for fat people. (Thank you for thinking of me, but you aren't doing ANYONE any favors!)
* Too-tight, hip-hugger, low-rider jeans with thongs or g-strings. (Unless you are anorexic, this look makes EVERYONE have muffin top. And your floss is NOT sexy, you look like a cheap whore.)
* Skinny jeans.... on anyone! (There is no happy medium. You either look like you need a sandwich or that you've had one too many.)
* Too-baggy pants with boxers exposed or just simply worn beneath the rump. (You make me feel old as I am driven to thump you upside your head and ask "Your mother let you out of the house like that?")
* Wearing pajamas in public. (No comment needed, I think.)
* Wearing filthy pajamas in public.
* Perfume counters in department stores. (I hate you!)
* People who are famous because they are rich. (Or their Daddy is rich.)
* Purse puppies. (When did LIVE animals become accessories? Is this more acceptable to PETA?)
* Has-been celebrity reality shows.
* Celebrity sex tapes.
* Celebrity and/or Athletic thugs, and the media's fascination with their activities.
* Beyoncé Knowles.
* Beyoncé Knowles in a leotard.
* Fergie in a leotard.
* Synthesized vocals. (That's not talent... Stephen Hawking can do that! Doesn't make him an artist.)
* Singers/Rappers/Musicians who only sound good in the studio. (Yeah, Black-Eyed Peas..... I'm talking about you... did you see Idol last night???)(And I question "in the studio" but you seem popular... so someone has to think so...")
* Pointless, crappy remakes of previously crappy movies, not necessarily even that old.
* Cartoon character foods, such as Dora Soup or Spiderman Mac'n Cheese.
* Foods for children that taste like other foods... (Why can't applesauce taste like applesauce? And why am I a mean parent for thinking that it should?)
* Foods for children that take a good idea and make it ridiculous. (pizza and chicken nugget Lunchables, Go-gurt, tattoo fruit roll-ups - kids were pretty thrilled with the original concept before you bastardized it!)
* Heelys. (Outrageously priced sneakers that turn into skates that every child HAS to have, but can't reasonably wear anywhere, and for those who do let their children wear them at the store, the mall, school, where-ever.... I WILL clothesline the next one that zooms past, nearly taking me out. Then I will laugh as they cry and shake my finger and say "God-damned pesky brat!!")
* Car decals depicting Calvin praying at the cross... (Really? That child NEVER prayed.)
* Car decals depicting Calvin peeing. (In general, or on the cross.... WHY? The humor escapes me.)
* Car decals that depict Mommy, Daddy, and 3 sprogglings, 2 cats and a dog... (Yay, you have a happy, nuclear family! WooofuckingHooo! I wanna see 2 Mommies, their 8 kids, and spayed pets. THAT I will celebrate and congratulate!)
* Grocery stores that badger me into donating money to charities. (If I select 'No' while I'm electronically paying, don't then ask me if I want to "round up". If I say "no", this then makes me look like a socially uncaring asshat, and no one knows that yesterday I donated $10... I just look like a jerk and it pisses me off!)
* Grocery stores that ask me if I need assistance taking my two small bags out to my car. (First of all, you know it could have all fit in one bag. Second, I am neither elderly, nor disabled, nor so lazy that I can't manage on my own. Will you also accompany me home, carry them into my house, cook my dinner, and wash up afterward? I might go for that!)
* Pat Robertson.
* Pat Boone.
* Sarah Palin and The Tea Party (political group, not the Canadian band- they rock!)
-OK... really, I could go on forever! I might just have to add too this list!
Here it goes in no particular order....
* The disgusting act of wearing clothing 3 sizes too small. (Denial is a sad thing.)
* Companies who make skinny girl clothes for fat people. (Thank you for thinking of me, but you aren't doing ANYONE any favors!)
* Too-tight, hip-hugger, low-rider jeans with thongs or g-strings. (Unless you are anorexic, this look makes EVERYONE have muffin top. And your floss is NOT sexy, you look like a cheap whore.)
* Skinny jeans.... on anyone! (There is no happy medium. You either look like you need a sandwich or that you've had one too many.)
* Too-baggy pants with boxers exposed or just simply worn beneath the rump. (You make me feel old as I am driven to thump you upside your head and ask "Your mother let you out of the house like that?")
* Wearing pajamas in public. (No comment needed, I think.)
* Wearing filthy pajamas in public.
* Perfume counters in department stores. (I hate you!)
* People who are famous because they are rich. (Or their Daddy is rich.)
* Purse puppies. (When did LIVE animals become accessories? Is this more acceptable to PETA?)
* Has-been celebrity reality shows.
* Celebrity sex tapes.
* Celebrity and/or Athletic thugs, and the media's fascination with their activities.
* Beyoncé Knowles.
* Beyoncé Knowles in a leotard.
* Fergie in a leotard.
* Synthesized vocals. (That's not talent... Stephen Hawking can do that! Doesn't make him an artist.)
* Singers/Rappers/Musicians who only sound good in the studio. (Yeah, Black-Eyed Peas..... I'm talking about you... did you see Idol last night???)(And I question "in the studio" but you seem popular... so someone has to think so...")
* Pointless, crappy remakes of previously crappy movies, not necessarily even that old.
* Cartoon character foods, such as Dora Soup or Spiderman Mac'n Cheese.
* Foods for children that taste like other foods... (Why can't applesauce taste like applesauce? And why am I a mean parent for thinking that it should?)
* Foods for children that take a good idea and make it ridiculous. (pizza and chicken nugget Lunchables, Go-gurt, tattoo fruit roll-ups - kids were pretty thrilled with the original concept before you bastardized it!)
* Heelys. (Outrageously priced sneakers that turn into skates that every child HAS to have, but can't reasonably wear anywhere, and for those who do let their children wear them at the store, the mall, school, where-ever.... I WILL clothesline the next one that zooms past, nearly taking me out. Then I will laugh as they cry and shake my finger and say "God-damned pesky brat!!")
* Car decals depicting Calvin praying at the cross... (Really? That child NEVER prayed.)
* Car decals depicting Calvin peeing. (In general, or on the cross.... WHY? The humor escapes me.)
* Car decals that depict Mommy, Daddy, and 3 sprogglings, 2 cats and a dog... (Yay, you have a happy, nuclear family! WooofuckingHooo! I wanna see 2 Mommies, their 8 kids, and spayed pets. THAT I will celebrate and congratulate!)
* Grocery stores that badger me into donating money to charities. (If I select 'No' while I'm electronically paying, don't then ask me if I want to "round up". If I say "no", this then makes me look like a socially uncaring asshat, and no one knows that yesterday I donated $10... I just look like a jerk and it pisses me off!)
* Grocery stores that ask me if I need assistance taking my two small bags out to my car. (First of all, you know it could have all fit in one bag. Second, I am neither elderly, nor disabled, nor so lazy that I can't manage on my own. Will you also accompany me home, carry them into my house, cook my dinner, and wash up afterward? I might go for that!)
* Pat Robertson.
* Pat Boone.
* Sarah Palin and The Tea Party (political group, not the Canadian band- they rock!)
-OK... really, I could go on forever! I might just have to add too this list!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Talk Thursday: Sun, Moon, and Scars
I love the self-expression of individuality through body modification such as piercing and tattoo. This doesn't mean I like it all and, to be honest, some of it gives me the willies, and yes, sometimes I find myself wondering why on earth someone would do that to themselves.
It's interesting to see how trends change. Once upon a time, I'd heard the most popular tattoos were roses, hearts, and butterflies. From what I can gather from some quick internet research is that today's most popular tattoos are tribals, stars, dragons, angels or fairies, and wings. The most popular piercings are ears, nose, and navel. I think eyebrows and tongues have got to be getting pretty close though. (I would get my eyebrow done if they weren't such horribly uncontrollable caterpillars that don't need any attention drawn to them.)
I think a strategically placed piercing can be quite lovely. I know a lot of people would strongly disagree and I definitely do have my reservations about some of the things people do to themselves. I have this piercing, as well as a double piercing to my right nostril. I tend to think I have nice lips and a cute nose and a tiny bit of bling just accents them. (Yes, I used "bling!) I keep the jewelry small and there are lots of times people don't realize that my nose was even pierced and are shocked that I had the first hole put in on my 18th birthday, some 16 years ago!!
I felt quite certain when I decided to take "Sun, Moon, and Scars" to body modification that suns and moons were going to appear higher on the tattoo popularity list. Apparently, suns aren't as popular as they used to be. I think they can be very pretty and I actually plan on getting one very soon! YAY! Though I like how the sun and moon are kissing, this isn't the tat I'm planning on getting, I just liked it as I was googling around. I have a hard time understanding why people get some of the designs that they get. I mean, I have a stupid monkey on my ankle because I was young, and dumb, and impatient, but some people spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars and hours and hours getting really bizarre, creepy, and ugly stuff put on them.
I don't get it. Maybe I'm getting old. Eeek!
I understand getting something you're really into. I learned from the monkey fiasco. I have made sure I've really thought about and loved everything I've gotten since then. I really like the detail in this fairies wings but her face is a tadbit sinister-looking and is a weird contrast. I like tats of Amy Brown fairies.
For a very brief period of time, I considered branding. As cool as some might look, I can't imagine how painful that must be. If I accidentally burn myself taking something out of the oven, that shit hurts for days! No, branding isn't for me. Another mode of modification that is gaining popularity is scarification. Now this is some crazy-ass shit! They actually peel off pieces of your skin. Talk about OMFG pain!
Ok, I had to make that one really big so you could get a good look. I can't imagine sitting there while they do that. I wonder if they give you any kind of local anesthetic? Probably not, that's got to be like a declaration of manhood thing. No thanks, I'll stay a wussy girl, thank you!
If you, or someone you know, has one of those things that I said I don't really understand, I'd be thrilled to know about it. I'd love to get a personal example of why and how and OMG, what now?
It's interesting to see how trends change. Once upon a time, I'd heard the most popular tattoos were roses, hearts, and butterflies. From what I can gather from some quick internet research is that today's most popular tattoos are tribals, stars, dragons, angels or fairies, and wings. The most popular piercings are ears, nose, and navel. I think eyebrows and tongues have got to be getting pretty close though. (I would get my eyebrow done if they weren't such horribly uncontrollable caterpillars that don't need any attention drawn to them.)
I felt quite certain when I decided to take "Sun, Moon, and Scars" to body modification that suns and moons were going to appear higher on the tattoo popularity list. Apparently, suns aren't as popular as they used to be. I think they can be very pretty and I actually plan on getting one very soon! YAY! Though I like how the sun and moon are kissing, this isn't the tat I'm planning on getting, I just liked it as I was googling around. I have a hard time understanding why people get some of the designs that they get. I mean, I have a stupid monkey on my ankle because I was young, and dumb, and impatient, but some people spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars and hours and hours getting really bizarre, creepy, and ugly stuff put on them.
I understand getting something you're really into. I learned from the monkey fiasco. I have made sure I've really thought about and loved everything I've gotten since then. I really like the detail in this fairies wings but her face is a tadbit sinister-looking and is a weird contrast. I like tats of Amy Brown fairies.
Ok, I had to make that one really big so you could get a good look. I can't imagine sitting there while they do that. I wonder if they give you any kind of local anesthetic? Probably not, that's got to be like a declaration of manhood thing. No thanks, I'll stay a wussy girl, thank you!
If you, or someone you know, has one of those things that I said I don't really understand, I'd be thrilled to know about it. I'd love to get a personal example of why and how and OMG, what now?
Talk Thursday: Blogging
As you can tell, I've been trying desperately to catch up. I went about 3 months without internet, and OH MY GOD! it was painful. My friends think I'm a geek for being such a nut about blogging. At least I'm not a Facebook fanatic who has to log in every time I run down to the Piggly Wiggly or precious little Joey takes a crap.
Blogging is my therapy. Pre-advent of the blog, I would get riled up about some particular thing that set me off for the moment and I would pull out the encyclopedias and spend hours composing essay/letters to newspapers or congressman.... that of course I never sent off. But the act of writing cleared my head, got it off my chest, and made me feel better. Except when I'd look at the clock and calculate the hours upon hours I had just wasted on said project. Yay blogging!
Now I work it out, post it, get it off my chest- and if someone wants to read it great, if not ohhh, well. Often times, as I proof before post, I realize things about myself that I never quite noticed before. Sometimes I discover that those hidden truths are bigger than I would have ever thought but the putting of it into words seems to help somehow. Sometimes it's just the pride of a particularly well worded statement and a lot of times the frustration of having to find a different word because I can't begin to spell the one I want to use. My verbal vocabulary is much larger than my written vocabulary. Yay phonics.
The other interesting side of blogging is that I get to know a different side of my mom, not that she has necessarily kept any part of herself from me. I just get to know her better than I did before and I think that's a pretty cool thing. I'm sure to a certain extent she censors what she says knowing that I'll probably read it (I do) but I hope that she doesn't too much (Cuz I don't!). Sure there are a lot of times that I hesitate before I lay it out there, afraid that what I write will upset her, but often you have to plow through and not worry about it. In truth, you have to be a little selfish and say this is my therapy, not yours (but I love you!). There are times I've been tempted to put a "MOM: Read At Your Own Risk" disclaimer at the beginning of the blog, but then I'd have to start using a disclaimer any time I open my big, fat mouth. Life is too short for disclaimers.
Besides, there's very little my mom doesn't know about me.
Anyway, the bottom line is - I love blogging and I'm so glad to be back in it.
Blogging is my therapy. Pre-advent of the blog, I would get riled up about some particular thing that set me off for the moment and I would pull out the encyclopedias and spend hours composing essay/letters to newspapers or congressman.... that of course I never sent off. But the act of writing cleared my head, got it off my chest, and made me feel better. Except when I'd look at the clock and calculate the hours upon hours I had just wasted on said project. Yay blogging!
Now I work it out, post it, get it off my chest- and if someone wants to read it great, if not ohhh, well. Often times, as I proof before post, I realize things about myself that I never quite noticed before. Sometimes I discover that those hidden truths are bigger than I would have ever thought but the putting of it into words seems to help somehow. Sometimes it's just the pride of a particularly well worded statement and a lot of times the frustration of having to find a different word because I can't begin to spell the one I want to use. My verbal vocabulary is much larger than my written vocabulary. Yay phonics.
The other interesting side of blogging is that I get to know a different side of my mom, not that she has necessarily kept any part of herself from me. I just get to know her better than I did before and I think that's a pretty cool thing. I'm sure to a certain extent she censors what she says knowing that I'll probably read it (I do) but I hope that she doesn't too much (Cuz I don't!). Sure there are a lot of times that I hesitate before I lay it out there, afraid that what I write will upset her, but often you have to plow through and not worry about it. In truth, you have to be a little selfish and say this is my therapy, not yours (but I love you!). There are times I've been tempted to put a "MOM: Read At Your Own Risk" disclaimer at the beginning of the blog, but then I'd have to start using a disclaimer any time I open my big, fat mouth. Life is too short for disclaimers.
Besides, there's very little my mom doesn't know about me.
Anyway, the bottom line is - I love blogging and I'm so glad to be back in it.
Talk Thursday: Aftermath
It's odd how much of a familial influence there is in behavior. In my family, women DON'T freak out in times of crisis. You stoically do what needs to be done. When the storm has passed, you lock yourself in your room and bawl your eyes out. This isn't something that is taught, all I can guess is that it's a learned behavior, though my grandmother says that Reynolds women have to be strong. I don't think I've ever seen her cry. (She's not cold and heartless or anything, she's just the strongest woman I've ever met.)
To be fair, my mom is only about a quarter Reynolds. (Right? I mean grandma would be half Reynolds, cuz her Dad was a Reynolds..... but g-grandma was a Shonehart ... I don't know how to spell it..) So I am a waaaaaay watered down Reynolds. (Where's that inbreeding when you need it.) Maybe the Wilcox's are criers. Maybe I got mutated genes. Not that I'm a puss, I just don't hold it together so well anymore.
My induction into death practices began when I was in about the 3rd grade. My Papa died. I remember trying sooooo hard not to cry, because my mom was trying not to cry. And I know my mom was keeping it together for me. In turn, I knew that she was upset and didn't need to worry about how I was dealing with it as well. So I did as Reynolds do, and I sucked it up, pushed it down, and dealt with it later.
Did I mention I have faulty genes? These days, I'm fine if I don't talk about it. I save my crying for the shower. If I talk about it, all bets are off. I am a sentimental, emotional fool. Though rumor has it, great-grandma Reynolds had a little friend called diazepam. Can you say Valium? I might be more stoic if Pam Diaz were my friend; in fact, I'm quite certain I'd burst into song more frequently, as well!
When pondering the topic "Aftermath" all that I kept thinking about was how the aftermath of crisis stays with me for so incredibly long. When the fire's doused and the smoke clears, the smell of char seems to waft through my life years, even decades later. Charmin died 20 years ago and I still cry about her. A few weeks ago, I was completely dumbfounded when I started bawling over my first stepdad. He left 20 years ago, as well, and those two things are very intertwined, but it was shocking how fresh the betrayal felt. I feel that I should be over it, but I suppose there are certain aspects I've never dealt with. He took my grandma with him. That pisses me off. Yes, she's a grown ass woman and she makes her own choices, but I understand her predicament as well. I can't tell you how many times I've thought of taking him on Jerry Springer or something and really telling him how I feel. But the flip side of that is the fear that he wouldn't care. It pisses me off that I still cry about that son of a bitch. I know he doesn't deserve my tears. Knowing doesn't make them go away.
I would love the chance to tell him how negatively he's impacted my life. I'm afraid to truly love because I can't trust men. I am terrified of letting men into my son's life because I can't let this happen to him. And I would love to tell him that Ducky is ten times the man he could ever be. The one thing I learned from him is how to walk away and never look back. Kudos to you!
My mom raised me that hate is a bad, evil thing. But it is so easy to hate. Unfortunately, I hate him as fiercely as I love my mother and son. He doesn't deserve that much emotion from me.
To be fair, my mom is only about a quarter Reynolds. (Right? I mean grandma would be half Reynolds, cuz her Dad was a Reynolds..... but g-grandma was a Shonehart ... I don't know how to spell it..) So I am a waaaaaay watered down Reynolds. (Where's that inbreeding when you need it.) Maybe the Wilcox's are criers. Maybe I got mutated genes. Not that I'm a puss, I just don't hold it together so well anymore.
My induction into death practices began when I was in about the 3rd grade. My Papa died. I remember trying sooooo hard not to cry, because my mom was trying not to cry. And I know my mom was keeping it together for me. In turn, I knew that she was upset and didn't need to worry about how I was dealing with it as well. So I did as Reynolds do, and I sucked it up, pushed it down, and dealt with it later.
Did I mention I have faulty genes? These days, I'm fine if I don't talk about it. I save my crying for the shower. If I talk about it, all bets are off. I am a sentimental, emotional fool. Though rumor has it, great-grandma Reynolds had a little friend called diazepam. Can you say Valium? I might be more stoic if Pam Diaz were my friend; in fact, I'm quite certain I'd burst into song more frequently, as well!
When pondering the topic "Aftermath" all that I kept thinking about was how the aftermath of crisis stays with me for so incredibly long. When the fire's doused and the smoke clears, the smell of char seems to waft through my life years, even decades later. Charmin died 20 years ago and I still cry about her. A few weeks ago, I was completely dumbfounded when I started bawling over my first stepdad. He left 20 years ago, as well, and those two things are very intertwined, but it was shocking how fresh the betrayal felt. I feel that I should be over it, but I suppose there are certain aspects I've never dealt with. He took my grandma with him. That pisses me off. Yes, she's a grown ass woman and she makes her own choices, but I understand her predicament as well. I can't tell you how many times I've thought of taking him on Jerry Springer or something and really telling him how I feel. But the flip side of that is the fear that he wouldn't care. It pisses me off that I still cry about that son of a bitch. I know he doesn't deserve my tears. Knowing doesn't make them go away.
I would love the chance to tell him how negatively he's impacted my life. I'm afraid to truly love because I can't trust men. I am terrified of letting men into my son's life because I can't let this happen to him. And I would love to tell him that Ducky is ten times the man he could ever be. The one thing I learned from him is how to walk away and never look back. Kudos to you!
My mom raised me that hate is a bad, evil thing. But it is so easy to hate. Unfortunately, I hate him as fiercely as I love my mother and son. He doesn't deserve that much emotion from me.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Talk Thursday: On Further Review...
Apparently this phrase is used most commonly in sports, politics, and science.
Something like this....
The Oregon Ducks Football season is going to suck next year. This was supposed to be a golden year. We were supposed to kick total butt.. On further review, it has been revealed that the head coaches scouted the country for some of the best ball playing thugs our nation had to offer. Don't these boys know that you can't get away with this shit until you become a SUCCESSFUL PRO?
Some people seem to think that Obama isn't showing enough soon enough... I don't think he's done so bad with the mess he was left with. I have a friend who hates Obama with a bloody passion. She can't wait for next election as she is certain Sarah Palin will become our next president.... On further review, it has been determined that my "friend" has lost her fucking mind. Palin is scares the crap out of me. Not only is she a radical, but an idiot, as well, and that is a scary combination. Even Bush was just one of those things! In a recent speech at a Tea Party convention she stated, "America is ready for another revolution." Can you say 'treason'? I can say treason. (I'm going to generalize here.) Why are fucking Republicans so war-hungry? "The Tea Party, she said, "is the future of politics." It is "inspiring, to see real people, not politicos, inside-the-beltway professionals, come out, stand up, and speak out for commonsense conservative principles." Commonsense conservative principles call for another revolution? On further review, it has been recommended that Sarah Palin have Tea with Daniel Webster and revisit the definitions of 'commonsense', 'conservative', and 'terrorism'.
I don't necessarily believe that the Earth is a sentient being, but I believe it naturally maintains an equilibrium. Or tries too. I love science, but man has been using science to the detriment of humanity and our planet is suffering. There is an abundance of evidence that Earth is fighting back with every weapon it has. Look at the last 10 years alone. MRSA, SARS, West Nile Virus, Mad Cow disease, avian flue, and swine flu. We've had anthrax scares and tuberculosis reared it's head again. All of these have become so big, that HIV and AIDS barely makes us blink. We create super-infections by not properly taking the antibiotics that doctors too freely hand out. How many of these killer viruses have been created because we have come to believe medicine should cure everything and our bodies have forgotten how to fight on their own?
We pollute and strip our natural resources with careless abandon and pretend that there is no greenhouse effect or global warming. Glaciers melt, earthquakes devastate, volcanoes erupt, hurricanes and tsunamis decimate, but that's just nature. We didn't do that.
On further review, it should be known that humans weren't intended to live forever. We're like a cancer to this planet, breeding and spreading and destroying everything in our path. The Earth will find it's equilibrium.
Something like this....
The Oregon Ducks Football season is going to suck next year. This was supposed to be a golden year. We were supposed to kick total butt.. On further review, it has been revealed that the head coaches scouted the country for some of the best ball playing thugs our nation had to offer. Don't these boys know that you can't get away with this shit until you become a SUCCESSFUL PRO?
Some people seem to think that Obama isn't showing enough soon enough... I don't think he's done so bad with the mess he was left with. I have a friend who hates Obama with a bloody passion. She can't wait for next election as she is certain Sarah Palin will become our next president.... On further review, it has been determined that my "friend" has lost her fucking mind. Palin is scares the crap out of me. Not only is she a radical, but an idiot, as well, and that is a scary combination. Even Bush was just one of those things! In a recent speech at a Tea Party convention she stated, "America is ready for another revolution." Can you say 'treason'? I can say treason. (I'm going to generalize here.) Why are fucking Republicans so war-hungry? "The Tea Party, she said, "is the future of politics." It is "inspiring, to see real people, not politicos, inside-the-beltway professionals, come out, stand up, and speak out for commonsense conservative principles." Commonsense conservative principles call for another revolution? On further review, it has been recommended that Sarah Palin have Tea with Daniel Webster and revisit the definitions of 'commonsense', 'conservative', and 'terrorism'.
I don't necessarily believe that the Earth is a sentient being, but I believe it naturally maintains an equilibrium. Or tries too. I love science, but man has been using science to the detriment of humanity and our planet is suffering. There is an abundance of evidence that Earth is fighting back with every weapon it has. Look at the last 10 years alone. MRSA, SARS, West Nile Virus, Mad Cow disease, avian flue, and swine flu. We've had anthrax scares and tuberculosis reared it's head again. All of these have become so big, that HIV and AIDS barely makes us blink. We create super-infections by not properly taking the antibiotics that doctors too freely hand out. How many of these killer viruses have been created because we have come to believe medicine should cure everything and our bodies have forgotten how to fight on their own?
We pollute and strip our natural resources with careless abandon and pretend that there is no greenhouse effect or global warming. Glaciers melt, earthquakes devastate, volcanoes erupt, hurricanes and tsunamis decimate, but that's just nature. We didn't do that.
On further review, it should be known that humans weren't intended to live forever. We're like a cancer to this planet, breeding and spreading and destroying everything in our path. The Earth will find it's equilibrium.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Talk Thursday: It Was The Best of Times.....
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."
I love Dickens. He was brilliant and timeless in his view of the world. Who can't look at that introduction and apply it to their life, right now? Turn on CNN, open a news paper, a magazine, look in the mirror.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times;" As of the 1st, I was laid off, which I find deceptive. "Laid off", to me, has the idea that this is a temporary state of being. Not really. On the off-chance that numbers pick up, or someone with more seniority leaves their position, then I have call-back rights for a year. On the off-chance. I'm sad. I loved my job. I was good at my job. The whole thing sucks walrus testicles, but what'cha gonna do? I understand the corporate side of the situation. It's not anything to take personal. I know that if my coworkers had their choice, I'd still have a job. They were shocked, and some even outraged, that I lost my position while others kept theirs. That felt good. A little up to the down. It's odd to have your worth validated at the time of your termination.
"it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness;" We live in the time of "No Child Left Behind" but that has been molested and by lack of perception has been turned into "No Child Enabled to Excel". Instead of doing what was intended, this has led to a 'dumbing down' of curriculum due to lack of funds and foresight. We live in a time when parents aren't active in their child's education, many can't or don't do homework with their kids- so teachers assign less homework. My son is in the third grade and he has never had a text book. I find this outrageous! Due to budget cuts, classroom size has increased and the number of days in the school year decreases. And society seems dismayed that our children test considerably lower than those of our contemporaries.... Our current administration is encouraging single mothers to go back to school, but what will they do when they graduate? There aren't jobs waiting for them. No job, and now an education to pay back. I don't see this as any sort of a solution, it simply delays the problem.
"it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity;" People believe that the government can fix their problems, yet are afraid to trust in them to do so. People want health care reform, but they doubt the effectiveness of the solutions the government offers... Unions have done so much to improve the workplace, but many believe that they have out-grown their purpose. At the same time they are afraid to trust their employers without the protection of the Unions. There is an epidemic of passive faithful despair- the hopeless thought that it will all workout in the end, but lack of confidence in personally being active in the process. Everyone is riding it out, but who is fixing it?
We live in an age where those who've been successful fear the crumble of their sturdy foundation. Those who struggle to succeed are a breath away from ruin and find no aid when they reach out. Only those who have become complacent in the mundane will survive without fear. But without fear you can't truly know peace. Without effort, how can you realize success? Without hope, how do you find the will to try?
But what is the answer? Our world as we know it is in economic crisis. Our country is teetering on the edge of financial ruin. But what is finance? A system created by man, not a living breathing entity. Not a god, not a force of nature. We need a gross restructuring of everything, our entire life structure, from the ground up, but are we strong enough to allow such a major change once we figure out what that change should be? It's one thing to look at the current system and recognize that it is failing, but are we brave enough to leave it behind? Do we have the faith to move forward?
I love Dickens. He was brilliant and timeless in his view of the world. Who can't look at that introduction and apply it to their life, right now? Turn on CNN, open a news paper, a magazine, look in the mirror.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times;" As of the 1st, I was laid off, which I find deceptive. "Laid off", to me, has the idea that this is a temporary state of being. Not really. On the off-chance that numbers pick up, or someone with more seniority leaves their position, then I have call-back rights for a year. On the off-chance. I'm sad. I loved my job. I was good at my job. The whole thing sucks walrus testicles, but what'cha gonna do? I understand the corporate side of the situation. It's not anything to take personal. I know that if my coworkers had their choice, I'd still have a job. They were shocked, and some even outraged, that I lost my position while others kept theirs. That felt good. A little up to the down. It's odd to have your worth validated at the time of your termination.
"it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness;" We live in the time of "No Child Left Behind" but that has been molested and by lack of perception has been turned into "No Child Enabled to Excel". Instead of doing what was intended, this has led to a 'dumbing down' of curriculum due to lack of funds and foresight. We live in a time when parents aren't active in their child's education, many can't or don't do homework with their kids- so teachers assign less homework. My son is in the third grade and he has never had a text book. I find this outrageous! Due to budget cuts, classroom size has increased and the number of days in the school year decreases. And society seems dismayed that our children test considerably lower than those of our contemporaries.... Our current administration is encouraging single mothers to go back to school, but what will they do when they graduate? There aren't jobs waiting for them. No job, and now an education to pay back. I don't see this as any sort of a solution, it simply delays the problem.
"it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity;" People believe that the government can fix their problems, yet are afraid to trust in them to do so. People want health care reform, but they doubt the effectiveness of the solutions the government offers... Unions have done so much to improve the workplace, but many believe that they have out-grown their purpose. At the same time they are afraid to trust their employers without the protection of the Unions. There is an epidemic of passive faithful despair- the hopeless thought that it will all workout in the end, but lack of confidence in personally being active in the process. Everyone is riding it out, but who is fixing it?
We live in an age where those who've been successful fear the crumble of their sturdy foundation. Those who struggle to succeed are a breath away from ruin and find no aid when they reach out. Only those who have become complacent in the mundane will survive without fear. But without fear you can't truly know peace. Without effort, how can you realize success? Without hope, how do you find the will to try?
But what is the answer? Our world as we know it is in economic crisis. Our country is teetering on the edge of financial ruin. But what is finance? A system created by man, not a living breathing entity. Not a god, not a force of nature. We need a gross restructuring of everything, our entire life structure, from the ground up, but are we strong enough to allow such a major change once we figure out what that change should be? It's one thing to look at the current system and recognize that it is failing, but are we brave enough to leave it behind? Do we have the faith to move forward?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Easter is Jesus.....
Or not. I hate those signs people put in their yard. Just drives me freakin' nuts.
I don't bemoan anyone their religious beliefs or practices, but I find it irritating when people blindly make ignorant comments like, "You're not even Christian, why do you celebrate Easter?" (or Christmas, for that matter.) Hmmmmm, really?
What do Easter bunnies and colored eggs have to do with the resurrection of Christ? Very little, if anything at all. Can we accept that it's common knowledge that in the days the Catholic church was conquering the world, they took pagan tradition and gods and practices and intertwined it with their faith to make it easier for the pagans to accept and therefore convert? This IS fairly common knowledge. Those who deny it are simply not accepting the facts.
The name of the holiday itself comes from the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring "Eostre". The month attributed to her happens to coincide with the month we now call April and her annual festival was held on the vernal equinox. She is similar to the Germanic goddess Ôstarâ. And both are often credited for being virgin mothers of a special child fathered by a sky or sun god.
While eggs were a popular Easter treat because their consumption was traditionally forbidden during Lent- during that season they were hard boiled to prevent spoiling, then gifted to the children after the conclusion of Lent, but their involvement in spring festivals predates Christianity back to the Ancient Egyptians, Persians, Greek, and Roman cultures. Eggs have long been a symbol of new life and fertility. The ancient Romans believed all life came from an egg, while Christian tradition viewed the egg as the "seed of life". At the Passover Seder, a hard-boiled egg dipped in salt water symbolizes both new life and the Passover sacrifice offered at the Temple in Jerusalem.
The coloring of them seems to stem from a conglomeration of traditions- here, there, and everywhere. In ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome and Persia eggs were dyed for spring festivals. In medieval Europe, beautifully decorated eggs were given as gifts. The Orthodox tradition is to paint the eggs red as a symbol of the resurrection* while many pagan traditions painted them green to celebrate the onset of spring.
Hares and rabbits have been a symbol of fertility since the dawn of time. Hares and eggs are both attributed to Eostre and Ostara, and the Greek goddess Eos, a fertility goddess, but one or both appear to be sacred to many other deities throughout the world; Unut, Aphrodite, Holda, Freyja, Andraste, Cerridwen - not to mention several Asian and Middle Eastern goddesses.
I could get into resurrection myth and how Jesus wasn't the first to pull off that trick, but I'll save it for another day.
Please, don't get me wrong, I don't really have anything against any religion. I just get frustrated with people who are stubborn to the facts. I, personally, accept religions as different versions of the same thing, sharing soooooo many similar stories, to me that continuity is my "proof". It's okay to say that you don't quite believe this or that version, but you can't claim that any singular one is uniquely original in it's concept and tradition. That is part of the beauty of Easter. In little ways, it's part of everyone's history and heritage, Christian or not.
Happy Easter!
* I wanted to include this little tid-bit in reference to painting eggs red. The Orthodox Church has a tradition that evolved from two stories it has handed down over the last 1500 years. One is that after Christ was resurrected Mary Magdalene approached the Roman Emperor Tiberius Caesar, and told him "Christ is Risen." He pointed to an egg on his dinner table and said Christ is no more risen than that egg will turn red. At that point, the egg turned red. Another story I've come across is that after the Resurrection, Mary approached a group of women and handed out boiled eggs that said "Christ is Risen" and they turned red. I have found no scriptural support for these stories, if you do- please let me know! In most Orthodox artwork, she is depicted holding the red egg. Interesting!!
I don't bemoan anyone their religious beliefs or practices, but I find it irritating when people blindly make ignorant comments like, "You're not even Christian, why do you celebrate Easter?" (or Christmas, for that matter.) Hmmmmm, really?
What do Easter bunnies and colored eggs have to do with the resurrection of Christ? Very little, if anything at all. Can we accept that it's common knowledge that in the days the Catholic church was conquering the world, they took pagan tradition and gods and practices and intertwined it with their faith to make it easier for the pagans to accept and therefore convert? This IS fairly common knowledge. Those who deny it are simply not accepting the facts.
The name of the holiday itself comes from the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring "Eostre". The month attributed to her happens to coincide with the month we now call April and her annual festival was held on the vernal equinox. She is similar to the Germanic goddess Ôstarâ. And both are often credited for being virgin mothers of a special child fathered by a sky or sun god.
While eggs were a popular Easter treat because their consumption was traditionally forbidden during Lent- during that season they were hard boiled to prevent spoiling, then gifted to the children after the conclusion of Lent, but their involvement in spring festivals predates Christianity back to the Ancient Egyptians, Persians, Greek, and Roman cultures. Eggs have long been a symbol of new life and fertility. The ancient Romans believed all life came from an egg, while Christian tradition viewed the egg as the "seed of life". At the Passover Seder, a hard-boiled egg dipped in salt water symbolizes both new life and the Passover sacrifice offered at the Temple in Jerusalem.
The coloring of them seems to stem from a conglomeration of traditions- here, there, and everywhere. In ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome and Persia eggs were dyed for spring festivals. In medieval Europe, beautifully decorated eggs were given as gifts. The Orthodox tradition is to paint the eggs red as a symbol of the resurrection* while many pagan traditions painted them green to celebrate the onset of spring.
Hares and rabbits have been a symbol of fertility since the dawn of time. Hares and eggs are both attributed to Eostre and Ostara, and the Greek goddess Eos, a fertility goddess, but one or both appear to be sacred to many other deities throughout the world; Unut, Aphrodite, Holda, Freyja, Andraste, Cerridwen - not to mention several Asian and Middle Eastern goddesses.
I could get into resurrection myth and how Jesus wasn't the first to pull off that trick, but I'll save it for another day.
Please, don't get me wrong, I don't really have anything against any religion. I just get frustrated with people who are stubborn to the facts. I, personally, accept religions as different versions of the same thing, sharing soooooo many similar stories, to me that continuity is my "proof". It's okay to say that you don't quite believe this or that version, but you can't claim that any singular one is uniquely original in it's concept and tradition. That is part of the beauty of Easter. In little ways, it's part of everyone's history and heritage, Christian or not.
Happy Easter!
* I wanted to include this little tid-bit in reference to painting eggs red. The Orthodox Church has a tradition that evolved from two stories it has handed down over the last 1500 years. One is that after Christ was resurrected Mary Magdalene approached the Roman Emperor Tiberius Caesar, and told him "Christ is Risen." He pointed to an egg on his dinner table and said Christ is no more risen than that egg will turn red. At that point, the egg turned red. Another story I've come across is that after the Resurrection, Mary approached a group of women and handed out boiled eggs that said "Christ is Risen" and they turned red. I have found no scriptural support for these stories, if you do- please let me know! In most Orthodox artwork, she is depicted holding the red egg. Interesting!!
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