Talk Thursday: Things That MUST Go!

I feel that I could sit on this forever and never run out of things to add to this list, but as we must draw a line at some point....

Here it goes in no particular order....

* The disgusting act of wearing clothing 3 sizes too small. (Denial is a sad thing.)
* Companies who make skinny girl clothes for fat people. (Thank you for thinking of me, but you aren't doing ANYONE any favors!)
* Too-tight, hip-hugger, low-rider jeans with thongs or g-strings. (Unless you are anorexic, this look makes EVERYONE have muffin top. And your floss is NOT sexy, you look like a cheap whore.)
* Skinny jeans.... on anyone! (There is no happy medium. You either look like you need a sandwich or that you've had one too many.)
* Too-baggy pants with boxers exposed or just simply worn beneath the rump. (You make me feel old as I am driven to thump you upside your head and ask "Your mother let you out of the house like that?")
* Wearing pajamas in public. (No comment needed, I think.)
* Wearing filthy pajamas in public.
* Perfume counters in department stores. (I hate you!)
* People who are famous because they are rich. (Or their Daddy is rich.)
* Purse puppies. (When did LIVE animals become accessories? Is this more acceptable to PETA?)
* Has-been celebrity reality shows.
* Celebrity sex tapes.
* Celebrity and/or Athletic thugs, and the media's fascination with their activities.
* Beyoncé Knowles.
* Beyoncé Knowles in a leotard.
* Fergie in a leotard.
* Synthesized vocals. (That's not talent... Stephen Hawking can do that! Doesn't make him an artist.)
* Singers/Rappers/Musicians who only sound good in the studio. (Yeah, Black-Eyed Peas..... I'm talking about you... did you see Idol last night???)(And I question "in the studio" but you seem popular... so someone has to think so...")
* Pointless, crappy remakes of previously crappy movies, not necessarily even that old.
* Cartoon character foods, such as Dora Soup or Spiderman Mac'n Cheese.
* Foods for children that taste like other foods... (Why can't applesauce taste like applesauce? And why am I a mean parent for thinking that it should?)
* Foods for children that take a good idea and make it ridiculous. (pizza and chicken nugget Lunchables, Go-gurt, tattoo fruit roll-ups - kids were pretty thrilled with the original concept before you bastardized it!)
* Heelys. (Outrageously priced sneakers that turn into skates that every child HAS to have, but can't reasonably wear anywhere, and for those who do let their children wear them at the store, the mall, school, where-ever.... I WILL clothesline the next one that zooms past, nearly taking me out. Then I will laugh as they cry and shake my finger and say "God-damned pesky brat!!")
* Car decals depicting Calvin praying at the cross... (Really? That child NEVER prayed.)
* Car decals depicting Calvin peeing. (In general, or on the cross.... WHY? The humor escapes me.)
* Car decals that depict Mommy, Daddy, and 3 sprogglings, 2 cats and a dog... (Yay, you have a happy, nuclear family! WooofuckingHooo! I wanna see 2 Mommies, their 8 kids, and spayed pets. THAT I will celebrate and congratulate!)
* Grocery stores that badger me into donating money to charities. (If I select 'No' while I'm electronically paying, don't then ask me if I want to "round up". If I say "no", this then makes me look like a socially uncaring asshat, and no one knows that yesterday I donated $10... I just look like a jerk and it pisses me off!)
* Grocery stores that ask me if I need assistance taking my two small bags out to my car. (First of all, you know it could have all fit in one bag. Second, I am neither elderly, nor disabled, nor so lazy that I can't manage on my own. Will you also accompany me home, carry them into my house, cook my dinner, and wash up afterward? I might go for that!)
* Pat Robertson.
* Pat Boone.
* Sarah Palin and The Tea Party (political group, not the Canadian band- they rock!)

-OK... really, I could go on forever! I might just have to add too this list!