I Am SOOOOO Sick of Doctors!!!

If there is anything that stands out in my mind from college... it's the lesson that YOU are ultimately responsible for getting appropriate medical treatment. We live in a world where you're generally raised that physicians know all, know what's best for you, and you should do as they say. But the fact of the matter is, if you don't agree with your doctor it is your responsibility to do something about it.

We have been bounced around so much. When the question of Burp having ADHD came up, I went to the pediatrician who told me he had to be diagnosed through the school psychiatrist. She diagnosed him with ADHD... We messed with the meds for a year and a half until Burp was on 72 mg of Concerta and no one could tell. Every time the dose was raised, it would seem to work for a few months and then not at all.

Finally the pediatrician said he wasn't comfortable giving Burp more. He was 7, weighed 60 lbs and the doctor said that he could give him meds with the Concerta, but while he did that for high school and college kids working and going to school... he wouldn't do it for Burp. Find by me..... I'll agree with that. He recommended we see a psychologist to determine if there wasn't something else going on with Burp.

The psychologist was a nice guy. He did a HUGE assessment with Burp and decided that yes, he had ADHD, but also severe Anxiety Disorder... (I had always thought Burp had mild OCD..... which is a form of anxiety, but the doctor said Burp wasn't there... yet) We went once a week for several months. The psychologist wanted to discuss and work on some of our biggest issues.... ie. we have really rough mornings, every morning, BURP just doesn't want to get with the program. Argumentative, combative, and all around disagreeable. His opinion was that Burp was acting out due to the anxiety because he's very dependent on me, and it stressed him out that I work at night. Whatever.... his solution was that we spend the first 10 minutes of our morning playing a game or something, and then when Burp does what he's supposed to, I was to reward him with cookies. WTF?

First, I know my child. Yes, our mornings were rough... but I understand him and know how to deal with him for the most part. The rest of the world doesn't. I am more concerned that he learn how to recognize his triggers and learn how to cope with his issues so that he can get the most out of school and have a normal childhood and social life. And I think it's bullshit to bribe my child.

So the psychologist eventually suggested that Burp see a psychiatrist to possibly medicate for the anxiety. The thought presented to me was that perhaps dealing with the anxiety might make the ADHD easier to deal with.  During this whole ordeal, when I speak to the parents of other kids with "issues", everyone keeps saying, "Ohhh we went through that."  "Sounds just like my kid." "Are you sure it's not Asperger's?"

So we go to the psychiatrist. I ask, "What makes you so certain that this is ADHD and anxiety, not Asperger's? Everyone thinks he's autistic when they first meet him."
Don't ever question the professionals. "It's very apparent that your child has ADHD and anxiety... he might have Asperger's... but  there's no test for that, and no treatment. So let's treat him for what we know he has...And what makes you so sure he DOESN'T?"

Well first of all, if I were so sure he wasn't ADHD, I wouldn't keep him on the meds. I'm not sure of a fucking thing at this point. But it's obvious that the meds aren't working the way they are supposed to. Maybe he just needs a different med. I DON'T KNOW... but when the new teacher says she thought he wasn't medicated and is shocked to find out he's on 72mg, THAT SAYS SOMETHING TO ME!!! But I'm not a doctor just a stupid, single parent... what the fuck do I know?
He did opt to put Burp on 25mg of Zoloft, which I've caught a lot of flack for from the nurses I work with. But I see a huge improvement with some of his nervous habits. He doesn't tug on his shirt collars so much, or grind his teeth in his sleep as much. He doesn't obsessively tell me he loves me, sometimes as often as once or twice a minute..... which might sound like I'm a horrible mom for getting frustrated by it, but it was constant to the point of not normal. He doesn't seem so compelled to repeat himself to get the right sound to a word or phrase. He actually WANTS to go to the babysitters, even on nights I don't work. His appetite is better. He takes transition better, and we no longer fight every morning.. In fact, I can't tell you the last time we had a bad morning. And he doesn't so obsessively tell stories over and over, even though you saw or experienced the event with him. I see a vast improvement in those areas....
The psychiatrist now wants us to see a psychologist, as well, to work on those things that are so important to me. The learning to cope. Developing the skills to recognize and deal with his issues in an appropriate manner. However, I don't feel that psychologist #1 is the man for the job, though he is very nice.
So I've searched.... and finally, talking to yet another mom whose son sounds soooooo much like Burp, yet is only diagnosed with learning disorders, I was referred to a counselor whose specialty is actually autistic children. I looked him up on line, found an email, and sent him our history for the last 3 years and asked if he thought he could help. He promptly replied that he thought he could. I called him and on Monday I have an interview with him.   YAY!

However, two weeks ago Burp had an eye appointment. See, every year the school does their assessments and every year they tell me that my child is blind as a bat. I take him to the pediatric eye specialist (Burp had Strabismus when he was little ... so I just returned to the doc that did his surgery) And he tells me there isn't anything wrong with his eyes. We chalked it up to the fact that Burp has ADHD and doesn't test well. So this year was no different. The school nurse calls me up in arms, why haven't I taken care of this yet? I explain the situation to her and she demands that I have his eyes checked again, stating that she personally tested him and there were no exterior distractions and it is quite apparent that my son has horrible vision. (Though he never complains or squints or has headaches.) So I have her refer me to another eye doctor.
We go..... it is very apparent during the initial screening that Burp is faking it. THE LITTLE BUGGER WANTS GLASSES! Then we get back with the actual doctor and I try to tell her that he was faking in the other room. She very coldly told me she knows how to do her job. She continues with the evaluation and at one point has Burp jump on one foot, then draw an A with his toe on the floor. Apparently, from the confused way he preformed the tasks she was able to determine that his motor skills are developmentally slow. ... and I MUST take him to a specialist. Then she superscribed him glasses that she said would help with the eye fatigue he described getting (always on the last page of his book.) We order the glasses and as we're walking out the lady helping us gives me his prescription. Apparently I had just ordered progressive bifocals for a child with 20/25 vision. WTF? and she tells me my kid needs to see another specialist? Do I trust her opinion? Fuck no.

So today I'm sleeping, which is a miracle these days. My 28 year old neighbor died in her sleep on Friday and her 4 year old was home alone with her (though he didn't know she was dead) until nearly 11am. I think I'm having some anxiety over the whole thing. Just as I fall asleep, I feel as if I'm not breathing and startle awake, gasping for air. I'm not too concerned, I'm sure it will pass. It just makes falling asleep hard. I must have been in a fairly deep sleep when the phone rang just before noon. I looked at the ID and it was the psychiatrist calling to confirm Monday's appointment. After the call, I couldn't remember anything of the conversation, and stressed about it as I tried to go back to sleep. The psychologist is a 1:30... shrink at 4:20... But something didn't feel right.
So finally after I picked up Burp from school, I called the shrink back and explained that I work graveyard and that someone had called to confirm my appointment for Monday, but I wasn't fully awake and couldn't recall the conversation. OMG, you'd think I told her I was too busy packing my bong to pay attention to the phone call.
OB = Office Bitch
ME= duh!

OB: Do you know who called you?
ME: No, I'm sorry. Like I said, I don't remember any details of the call.
OB: Well I didn't call you.
ME: Who ever it was just wanted to confirm our next appointment, which I just want to verify is Monday at 4:20.
OB: Ok, that would have been XXX, her notes say whoever she spoke to confirmed the appointment.
ME: Yes, I'm sorry. That was me, but as I said, I was sleeping and I don't remember the conversation.
OB: But it says it was confirmed by whomever she spoke too.
ME (agitated now): I understand that. Ma'am, I work graveyard and answered the phone not fully awake and now don't recall the conversation. I just need to verify that yes, the appointment is Monday the 25th at 4:20.
OB(Very bitchy): No. It's Tuesday at 4:20.
Me: Ok, thank you very much.

I was so disgruntled that it took me a few hours to realize I would have never set an appointment for Tuesday at that time, Burp has swim then. I looked at the calender. The 25th IS Monday. I dug though my purse and FINALLY found the appointment card. The 25th at 4:20! WTF!!
This has happened before and we've only been going there once a month for, this will be, 4 months. And last time I called because the appointment card said a day and a date that didn't match. The date was a Monday, but Tuesday was written on the card. They clarified that they had us set for a Tuesday appointment, and I rescheduled, but the next appointment we went to the doctor had us written down for a no-call, no-show. I've freaking had it!

I'm getting Burp a new shrink. And no one is allowed to diagnose him with something new unless they have addressed something old! I'm not putting up with anymore shit from anyone. If I don't like you, or your bitchy, pippy-twat incompetent staff, I'm done with you!

Enough is enough already.