Not Everything is about YOU!

I am thirty-three. I don't feel like it. I compare myself to my mom at my age, and wow! we are so different. She was married, had me, so responsible, no social life (sorry mom) - mature. I'm not always so mature. I think marriage is evil. I do put my son before all else. I try to be responsible. I try desperately to have a social life. And most of the time I fail at being mature.

That said... One of my best friends is in town from Oz - I haven't seen her in a year and a half and she brings out the child in me. Yay! The inner child should be embraced, coddled, and taken out for ice cream on occasion. Or Tequila. I hadn't been out in like 9 months, so her and some other friends invite me out to BINGO, yes bingo, at a little place called Sam Bond's Garage. This is bingo like I never knew existed. This bar is crammed full of the 21 to 40 scene getting drunk, playing bingo for lame prizes like romance novels, Star Trek posters, and free beer. They have one round where the object is not to win, but to scream the most outlandish, offensive, sailoresque insults imaginable. If you want maturity - this is NOT the place for you. That said...

Tandy and I have this little "game" we play. It usually goes something like this...
Tandi : "Bitch"
Me: "Cunt"
Tandi: "Cum guzzler"
On and on until something like "Peg-legged 2 cent gutter slut" is reached.
The object of this playfully childish name calling is not to insult or offend, it is merely to stump your opponent. To come up with a better jab than the other until your opponent is stumped, and you win!

So to try to wrap this up...I fear I must mention I'd indulged in two double shots of tequila and was feeling pretty good. Tandi called me a tranny, which I have to admit I first used about 3 years ago. We were with our friend and one of her friends, Rob. Unbeknownst to us, Rob will soon be Robin... and was totally offended. Now, we don't dislike or discriminate against transgenders, bitches, cunts, or cum guzzlers for that matter. In fact, several of those labels admittedly apply to both of us at times. But Rob/Robin was incredibly wounded and as they walked back to their car, asked our friend, "How can you be friends with such conservative Republicans?"
................ conservative Republicans.................?
I am a nonchristian, single parent with tattoos and several facial piercings. And most definitely NOT republican. I VOTED FOR OBAMA! I have a bumper sticker that proclaims "Not retarded, just over joyed" -a Green Day reference. Above that is a large Eye of Rha. I am NOT republican. and what Rob/Robin doesn't realize is that, hands down, he/she won that round. For I am totally stumped.

For all of about 10 seconds, I felt horrible. But then I put it into perspective, how would I react if a bitch, a cunt, cum guzzler, or a peg-legged gutter slut heard me and was offended? I'd laugh. If you are an easily offended member of a subculture perhaps you should introduce yourself as such... "Hi. Nice to meet you. My name will soon be Robin. Don't mind the testicles. Please don't make tranny jokes.. or even say tranny. FOR I AM EASILY OFFENDED."