Pedistool Toppled

Have you ever had that crushing disappointment when you realize that someone is actually just another fucked up human being when for years you, in some way, held them above the herd?

There's this girl that I went to school with. I've known her just about my whole damn life. Pre-adult, she was the kindest, nicest, fairest peer I'd probably ever had. I'd never heard her talk shit about others. Never saw her get angry with anyone. Not a selfish bone in her body. Smart ass hell too.

I've always admired and looked up to her. I always thought that the world would be a much better place if more people, myself included, could be like her.

Sadly, via Facebook, she is gradually exposing herself to be someone that I'm not even sure I want to know anymore and every time she reveals one of these unsavory bits of herself, I feel like my world has kind of wobbled off kilter.

It started a few months ago. She has a son several years older than mine, who is an Aspie but unlike my son, her's has fairly violent meltdowns. Her husband was overseas in the military and she was home with 4 or 5 kids to manage. Anyone who knows the devout LDS life, knows that she is a busy woman. Up before the sun to get the kids to seminary. She runs a business or two from home. Lunch with the girls. Homework, sports practice, church socializing, she has a full plate. Still, was a little surprised to find that she was on a few different anti-depression and anxiety meds. (Not that I judge her for that, at all.. I don't.)

What started turning me sour was the way she treats, talks about, and acts toward her son with Asperger's. He has "beat her up" a few times. I say it like that because I wasn't there, I didn't see the incident, and I've also never seen the results of the incident. A girl who posts on the run, "I'm a fun/fab girl" shots of herself every day, and who always posts when "He beat me up again"... has never posted pics of her injuries. Not saying it doesn't happen... just wondering if they're exaggerated a bit.

Several months ago there was another incident with her son and, because she blogs every detail, I could see precisely each point where things when wrong. It culminated when he went outside to "cool off", and she saw that he was, but she still had the other children go around and lock all the doors and windows. When he realized he was being locked out by his family, he went nuts and started beating at the glass door with a chair. I would think that anyone who knows a few things about Aspies would see that she instigated this response. It ended with her calling the police and then next day she took her son to a 10 day inpatient psych evaluation, which she didn't tell him about until they were in the facility parking lot. While he was in the facility, she petitioned the Base Commander for the right to have a taser. That's right, she wanted to be able to tase her son when he got out of control (because she didn't know how to properly decelerate a situation.) The scary thing is that her "friends" from her ASD support group and HER SON'S THERAPIST all supported her.

 THANK GOD the Base Commander denied her request.

I was disgusted. Shocked. Completely flabbergasted. But I tried to respond calmly. I posted and sent her messages plainly stating that "There has to be another way." I explained to her that the course she was taking could do irreparable damage to her relationship with her son and begged her to seek the advice of alternate professionals. She never responded to me. I quit reading her blog.

I still see her Facebook posts. Things like, "Shopping with all the kids. ARRRGG! But  I can't leave them home with the Aspie!"

It breaks my heart.

But, what actually made me start this post, was a completely different topic.

She had a Pure Romance party today, and of course it was "No men or children".

She apparently had one friend a bit saddened by that. To which he (The Friend) responded, "I'm sure it would have been fun, but whatever, I'm used to it by now."
Her hubby posted, " you wouldn't want to attend one of these parties. Women would talk about such things, but men...not in a big group like that...no way!'
The Friend, " -Methinks your life experience is very different from mine. You played baseball and football; I was a gymnast and a cheerleader. You've worked for the BSA and the US Military -- Mostly men, right?. I'm a teacher--3 women for every man in this building; even in the science department women outnumber men. I have spent my entire life surrounded by women. And I LOVE it. When my assistant director (Drama Department) was having trouble finding nursing bras that fit, she thought maybe I could help -- and I did.
I very much wish I could have been there. I often feel the need to talk about such things; I (almost) never get the chance."
Her hubby replied, " .no, not my cup of tea. I wish there were no women in the military. Or at least I wish I was in a true combat arms branch where women are not capable of being involved in..." 
The Friend, "You see what you just did there, XXX? I was opening up, expressing my deep need to talk about personal issues, and you changed the subject to "women in the military." Hahaha. You're such a guy." (Good for him.)


Perhaps I shouldn't have been so dismayed by this, but I guess I always held her husband to a higher standard as well. When I first read that statement, I wanted to find him and kick him in the balls while I questioned, "Not CAPABLE????" Sure, maybe not in hand-to-hand combat. But how often does "battle" in today's world involve hand-to-hand? 


Perhaps his view comes from having a wife who feels the only way she can deal with her son is to use a taser on him. Just sayin'!

BITCHES!