I'm not really lost. This is not a boo-hoo poor Psam post.. This is a declaration of my frustrations.
Maybe I'm going through a mid *gulp* life crisis.
I don't know. I feel like I'm stuck in a body that isn't what I want. I feel like I'm stuck in a go-no-where life that isn't what I intended. I have a job I hate. I only have two friends here.. One I never get to see.. The other only wants to try to fuck me.. or cry on my shoulder when his life his in the shit hole... Sometimes those overlap. I have no social life. I do nothing.
I am fun.. I am funky. I am unique. I am not my age. I want to be me. And I guess that's the real crux of it all. I don't get to be me. I want to wake up every day and dress in a style that screams "Psam"... cuz really, I'm Psam on the inside. Here, in this life, when Psam comes out, people look at me like I'm crazy... like I don't fit. I have people who know and love my "Psam" ... but they aren't here.. They aren't in my every day, touchable life. My mom knows Psam. I think she even likes her, but sorry Mom.. I need more than my mommy sometimes.
I'm in a rut. I need a change. I need a life.
This is not me.
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2 comments:
I love you and you are Psam. But yeah, I'm sure mommy is not what you need.
But really this is a nice nod to Talk Thursday's topic from last week.... Frustration.
Oh, Psam! I hope you don't mind, but I did giggle when I read, "The other only wants to try to fuck me.. or cry on my shoulder when his life his in the shit hole... Sometimes those overlap." I used to have a friend like that. Sending love your way. May life evolve so that Psam can be "out" more often.
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