Talk Thursday: Castaway

Everyone has been either the casted, or the caster... It's not the act itself that defines us, but the manner with which we conduct ourselves during the moments of the action which can define us for the rest of our lives.

Be it weak, brutal, passive-aggressive, or noncommittal, we all have our own way of dealing with the stress of break up, conflict, or life in general. One of the most important lessons I have learned in this life is that while you can't always control what happens to you, you can always control how you respond and react to a situation.

I have an..... aquaintance that has been struggling for almost a year with a break up. They had been together for over five years. Truth be told, he broke up with her and, from what I can tell, was a total asshat for about a month. Then the dumbass realized that he'd made the "worst mistake of my life". But, by that time, he'd done too much damage. She didn't want him back, in fact she went and found herself a "friend".

The main problem is, according to him, she's been kinda leading him on for the last year. Everyone has known that she's with this new guy, but I guess she tells him that they're just friends and she doesn't know what she wants. blah, blah, blah. Occassionally she'd make plans with the ex just to cancelled and go out with the new guy. Pretty crappy in my book. He knew she was doing this. She would periodically tell him she didn't want to be with him,at which point, he would call me all butthurt.

The curious thing about all this is that her and the new boy were always publicly 'just friends". Today I wake up to a text "They're together, I can't fuckin believe it, blah, blah, blah. I just wish I was dead."

Now if I had said that to him, he straight up would have told me to get a life. Piss or get off the pot. "You wanna die? Do it then or quit bitching about it." He can be a bit cocky and selfrighteous. I had just woken up and I've been dealing with this periodically for about 11 months. I said what any selfrespecting friend would.
"Ohhhh Frank. Really? Did you think they weren't? Really? You didn't want to believe it. It's no reason to want to die. Don't go getting all Emo on me. Have a couple shots. Fuck the first thing that walks by and get over it. Man up already."

In retrospect, maybe not the nicest way I could have dealt with it. And I don't think he's speaking to me anymore. *shrug* There comes a point when you have to draw the line and face reality.

If he would have been a bit kinder when HE was doing the casting, perhaps things would have been a bit gentler when the shoe was on the other foot. No one ever enjoys being the castaway, though I think sometimes people can take a perverse pleasure in being the one setting the other adrift.

Karma baby. Ya get what ya give.