Ode To My Hostess Lemon Pie

(The first I've had in years)

When I heard you were gone, I searched far and wide.
On Amazon and Ebay, my cravings denied.
I wept and I cursed, the opportunities gone,
The damn self-denial of trying to be strong.

Then I saw Twinkies and my heart filled with cheer!
I saw DingDongs and Hohos and PIES! Oh my dear!
Cherry!! and apple!! and .... no lemon to be had.
My joy crashed, my heart crushed, I was filled with great sad.

THEN I SAW YOU! I cackled. I snatched you up tight.
I stroked you. I petted. I crooned my delight.
All the way home, I whispered- sweet nothings and such,
Promises and declarations about loving you too much.

Tingling with anticipation, I unwrapped with care.
I hid myself away, so I wouldn't have to share.
I tasted your icing. I nibbled your crust,
Comforting and praising and gaining your trust.

One nibble. Two nibbles, and three. You open to me.
I can see your creamy center, it wants to be free.
I slip my tongue in and lap you up with a moan,
So silky and tart, I'm glad I'm alone.

Joygasms and happies, I started to drool.
Sucking and slurping, I abandoned my cool.
Digging deeper and deeper, I scoop with my tongue.
Victorious and giddy about this pleasure I have won.

Licking the crevices, the crannies and such,
You're suddenly gone, just a shell, nothing else much.
I sigh and eye you with great heave of despair,
Then toss you in the trash....

Thankful I bought a spare.