The Top 24..

This is going to be a tough season on American Idol. Tonight was the men and I have to say they're all good.. ish.

The judges seem to love Brett. Actually, from what I see online, most people seem to love him. Randy says, "you're definitely fun and definitely bold and you're going to do what you want to do, when you want to do it.".............. I would say brave. If there has ever been a contestant on AI who did not seem comfortable in their own skin, it's Brett. My point is that I don't think that Brett is really at the American Idol level, I don't care for his voice, and I really feel that maybe the reason that he's made it this far is because he needs it more than any of the others. This experience will either destroy him, or strengthen him for life.

I think Jordan slit his throat tonight. He hasn't been one of my favorites, but when he sang "Over the Rainbow", Jennifer wasn't the only one who got goosebumps. I don't know why any American Idol contestant would ever touch an Usher song. That would be like doing Micheal Jackson in his prime. Usher is the best of the best. You might be able to sing. You might be able to dance. But you can't do both the way he does. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

I'd missed a couple of the audition episodes, so this was really the first time I saw Tim and Paul, and I was fairly impressed by both. Paul's praises included "character of voice", "uniqueness" , and "fun and quirky style". ..... Now I'm not a HUGE Rod Stewart fan (tho I do really like Maggie May) ... but (and perhaps it's because I haven't heard the song in years) if I closed my eyes, I would have thought that it was Rod Stewart. That said, he did a great job.

Burp's fav of the season seems to be Scotty McCreary. I didn't know my boy liked country. He did a good job, and Burp made me vote for him.

My favs of the season (so far) are James and Casey. They both did awesome.

Everyone is really talented. It's going to be tough. At this point, I don't know that I can even come close to guessing who will be going home. Jordan didn't shine. I don't think that Brett did, but that seems to not be the popular opinion. Everyone else did really well. 7 men go home Thursday, which means that we're getting to the top 10 quicker than previous years... I hope that doesn't mean a shorter season. *pout*

Anyway, I just meant for this to be a quick little blurb... On to the ladies tomorrow night, no one really excites me yet... we'll see after tomorrow.

Opinions Are Like Assholes....

And I have lots.

What I have discovered about myself is that while I've very interested in debating and discussing some issues, others are absolutely non-negotiable.

RELIGION - Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love to discuss and debate religion. I have ideas, but I don't know it all, and I'm always looking for that bit of wisdom or understanding that will broaden or focus my thoughts. However, if you're using your faith to give foundation to intolerance of any sort, of any kind, you better know your literature, and you better be able to back up your beliefs with an explanation of WHY you believe the way you do. "Cuz that's how I was raised", or "The Bible says so",  just doesn't work with me.

ABORTION - Non-negotiable. I agree with abortion. I believe there is a medical purpose for it. I believe the alternative to legalization is scary. Finally, a woman should decide what to do with her body. That said, I don't like abortion. I think some people are irresponsible with it. Though I don't really view it as murder, I do still feel that it's killing a baby. (How is that different? I don't know, some sort of grey area.) I don't condemn people for it, but it makes me sad when it isn't a desperate last resort. Lastly, though a woman should get to choose what happens to her body, I can't help but feel that a man should have a say in what happens to his child. That said, wow... what a mess that would create if he did. So the bottom line is this : I agree with abortion and there's no debate in the issue.

GAY RIGHTS - Non-negotiable. I cannot debate this topic with any sort of reason or understanding for people who don't, in some way, believe as I do on this issue. I don't want to hear you spew your fucked-up God-shit. I don't want to hear you refer to mental illness. And if you think it's disgusting, quit being a pervert and mind your own damn bedroom! Oh? You don't want to offend me? Well, YOU DO! You're talking about my friends, my family, my coworkers. People I love, and every time you open your hateful, ignorant mouth on the subject I find myself fantasizing about ripping your fucking tongue out.

*breathe* (See, I'm fairly firm on that issue.)

EVOLUTION - Debatable. I believe in evolution, but I can learn more and I'm not opposed to hearing from both sides. I tend to stand on the side of science, so give me your science you op'posers'!! (Little hint... You can't use the Bible or religion as "proof" against evolution. 1. God made Adam from the mud, it doesn't say how long it took him, and 2. The Bible isn't science.)

CAPITOL PUNISHMENT - Kind of non-negotiable. I believe in the death penalty. I believe that some people can't be rehabilitated. I don't believe in Life Without Parole. If a dog is especially vicious and has killed someone, the dog gets put down. If it's repeatedly attacked people, it gets put down. I don't think people should be treated any differently. You don't put a dog in a little kennel and wait till it dies. You peacefully put it down. I don't believe in hanging, firing squads, electric chairs, or gas chambers. Just put the person down. I don't believe that the death penalty should be used as a deterrent or a punishment. I believe it's a solution to a problem. I think that keeping "Lifers" is a drain on finances and a risk to the staff that have to care for them.

MEDICINAL MARIJUANA - I can totally debate this one, though I'm pretty firm on my opinion. My argument against legalization isn't a moral, but an ethical issue with the way that it's happened. Being that we are a republic, our government is set up that supposedly the States get to make their own rules as long as they fall within the Federal government's guidelines. (In a nutshell..lol) But on the issue of marijuana, the States shouldn't be allowed to make these choices because the Federal government has decided that it's a Schedule 1 Drug. The Federal government has made it illegal and and deemed it to have no medicinal purpose.  I totally don't agree with this scheduling and most of the rational and informed people of this country probably wouldn't agree that pot is worse than heroin. I just disagree with the legality of the process with which it was made legal (here in Oregon and several other states).

(HOLY CRAP!!! Do you know Samoas have 70 calories EACH?)

I could go on. Gun laws, legalize prostitution, sex ed in schools, government-sanctioned breeding laws, career-welfare moochers..... some of those, I'm sure you can guess where I stand...

Anyway, it's late and I'm getting tired.
Yay, American Idol is back!! I like a few, but Casey Abrams stands out for me at the moment. (Ohhh and the Asperger's boy.)

Here are a couple of links to things that inspired this little rant. Mostly, it's not the pieces themselves, but the some of the comments people posted to them that got me all riled up.

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/02/24/new.york.billboard.abortion/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn#

http://kezi.com/news/local/205484

Talk Thursday: 30 (or so, we'll see) Things About Me

1. I hide.
2. Hence, the no blogging.
3. I don't lie well, hence the hiding and no blogging.
4. I don't trust people,
5. but I doubt my judgement, so I convince myself to
6. and I get burned.
7. I am too forgiving and unforgiving, all at once.
8. I love my son, he is my joy, my soul, my fears, and my dreams.
9. I want to be a soccer mom when I grow up.
10. I wish I could be a foster parent.
11. I wish I wasn't poor,
12. money doesn't buy happiness
13. but it relieves the stress and makes goals easier to attain.
14. The last time I went a day without coffee was 9 1/2 years ago.
15. I love coffee.
16. My mom has had the same coffee pot for more than a decade, I have burned through 3 in the last 10 years.
17. I love my Mom.

18. I can't think of anything I'd want to change about her.

19. She is dependable, trustworthy, strong, intelligent, confident, determined, giving, and kind... everything I strive to be.
20. I'm pretty good at some,
21. Not so good at others.
22. I love the wind,
23. rain,
24. and night.
25. I love to drink coffee while reading on a wet, windy night.
26. That reminds me of Dr. Seuss...
"The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold, wet day."
27. I love Dr. Seuss.
28. I don't know anyone named Sally.
29. I don't believe that Jesus was the "Incarnate Son of God".
30. My son does.
31. That makes me happy.
32. I believe in freedom of choice, thought, speech, expression, and all the inbetween.
33. Unless it's expressing yourself nude on a playground.
34. I believe in the death penalty.
35. I believe the government should control who can breed and who can't EVER!
36. Communism isn't bad in theory.
37. Ohhh, I made it past 30!
38. I cried on my 30th birthday.
39. I'm not where I wanted to be.
40. I love to watch House Hunters.
41. I feel extreme dislike for the people who whine about paint color or updating tiles.
42. You're buying a fricking $500,000 4 bedroom, 5 bathroom house and cry cuz there's no pool...?
43. People in Paris pay twice that for a shoe box apartment with no view.
44. People are crazy.
45. I yearn for a big house full of kids, .
46. and a big back yard with a golden retriever named Mattie.
47. I want a pool.
48. Burp and I could do laps every morning.
49. It would be great for both of us.
50. I love to swim.
51. I haven't been in a public pool in years.
52. My Mormons have forgotten me.
53. I haven't had a J.W. knock on my door in years.
54. I hate that most people can't sit down and have a rational discussion about religion.
55. I have friends who think "rational" and "religion" don't belong in the same sentence.
56. They're probably right.
57. In a few hundred years, will people think that David Koresh was really the second incarnation of Jesus?
58. I mean, in Jesus' life, few people believed him.......
59. I wish it would warm up and quit trying to snow,
60. My flower beds are a disgrace.
61. Spring is my favorite season.
62. I hate summertime.
63. I hate the hot.
64. I hate the bright.
65. I hate driving in the rain at night.
66. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with my eyes.
67. Some doctors are stupid assholes.
68. I'm too young for glaucoma
69. so my visual disturbances must be mental.
70. Maybe I am crazy.
71. I can think of much better ways to be crazy.
72. I have never lacked imagination
73. unless it's making up bedtime stories. I suck at that.
74. I'm not very good at staying in contact with people.
75. I hate talking on the phone.
76. I'm trying to pick up the phone more often.
77. That seems to be an odd comment to make.
78. Odder that picking up the phone gives me anxiety.
79. I am in love with Costa Rica.
80. I have never been there.
81. I have a crush on a boy at work.
82. He is a cute, nerdy teddy bear who betters himself and gives back to his community.
83. He tries on my lip gloss.
84. He is 9 years younger than me.
85. He coaches high school golf.
86. Golf is NOT a sport.
87. He went to Boise State.
88. I hate the Broncos and their stupid BLUE field.
89. We have agreed to disagree.
90. 9 years, golf, BSU, and he's Catholic... alone, nothing too major, altogether???
91. I've never had a "good" boyfriend.
92. I've only had one relationship that lasted more than 6 months and it was inconsistent and not healthy.
93. I'm 35 and too old for this shit.
94. I wish he'd ask me out.
95. I want a happy, healthy, comfortable family.
96. I want to teach my son responsibility, compassion, understanding, giving, and duty above self.
97. I want to practice what I preach.
98. I want to make a difference.
99. I want my son to take pride in who I am
100. Like I take pride in who my mom is.

Response to Cele's Talk Thursday: I Mind

http://ohjoyitsme.blogspot.com/2011/01/talk-thursday-i-mind-i-dont-mind-yes-i.html

I started to post a comment to this on her bog, but it became ridiculously long so I just decided to put my comments here.

I hesitate to stand behind anyone's healthcare bill. The big picture is GIGANTIC, and to attempt to fix it a little at a time will result in failure. They really have to start at the bottom and create a completely different system.


First, sorry Jen... the lawyers won't like this.. First we have to cap malpractice. Malpractice insurance is outrageously expensive and people are getting rich for very stupid reasons. If I go to McDonald's and ask for no mustard, but get mustard.. I don't really have a lawsuit. Don't get me wrong, if I'm allergic, I might... But not just because the sight and smell of mustard horrifically offends me.

Next, we need to give physicians the freedom to say NO. In the emergency room we see patients who come in (even by ambulance) for the most ridiculous things; toothaches, blisters, migraines, ingrown toenails. The physician HAS to see them. Once he sees them, he can technically say "You don't have a medical emergency, I'm releasing you," but, if the patient has any sort of medical emergency in the next week or so, he's setting himself up for a lawsuit. If the patient says they have pain, we have to treat them for pain. I've seen people completely snowed on painkillers wake from their stupor claiming 10 out of 10 pain. We have to give doctors the freedom to say no. For that matter, we need to give paramedics that freedom as well. If a patient says I want to go to the hospital, they have to load them up and give them the ride. Sometimes they walk from the ambulance into the ER. Sometimes they flat out tell the medics "Thank you for the ride" and leave the ER all together.

Because physicians can't say no, we have terms like fibromyalgia and abdominal migraines, both of which can't be medically proven or disproven and are born from a need to label the patient's "condition". We have 20 year old pain med junkies who suffer from "chronic back pain". ER's are besieged by pain control contracted patients who take enough meds to put a horse into a coma. The medical community, and the authorities that govern them, have created a society that refuses to feel even the slightest discomfort of pain.


Next, something HAS to be done about the pharmaceutical companies. They budget more of their money for advertising their product than producing or researching those products. There's something incredibly wrong with that. What happened to physician's prescribing meds, now I have network television telling me what meds I need to ask my doctor for. In the medical industry, we call that "med seeking behavior", and you're not going to get what you ask for. Don't get me wrong, you'll get something.. just not whatever it is you're asking for.

Next, reduce medical waste. This might not actually save money, but find a way to make it so. Why is it less expensive to throw away hemostats after one use than it is to sterilize them and reuse? We "throw them away" which means that nurses gather them and donate them to Doctors Without Borders because they're greatly valued in places like Sudan, Belize, and Nepal. Yay for them, but why is it not good enough for us?

Also, in that line of thought, medical supplies need to be reasonably priced. Suppliers and medical facilities shouldn't be allowed to jack up the prices, which just results in jacked up medical bills. And... if the government can cap what Medicare and Medicaid patients can be billed, why not make it uniform and say "this" is what is reasonable to pay for this procedure, "this" is all you're allowed to charge ANYONE! It's insane to charge an out-or-pocket patient 3 or 4 times what is paid for an insured patient. Where's the reality in that?  We had a trauma patient who had extensive surgery and a long stay in the hospital, her total bill was something like $60,000... she was double covered.. one of those insurances being Medicare. The combined total reimbursement for her care was less than $15,000.  In Oregon, if you have a baby on Medicaid, the total bill is around $10,000 (which the patient never sees because it is illegal to send them a bill or explanation of benefits) Medicaid pays out roughly 10%, so the hospital only sees about $1000 of that and is barred from attempting to collect further from the patient. At the facility I work at, I would say that atleast 50% of our patients are Medicare or Medicaid insured. (I know that people claim that as Medicare or Medicaid they don't receive the same care as other patients, but our facility strives to make that impossible. EMTALA law states that you can not base the kind of care or speed of care on a patients ability to pay or method of payment. To protect ourselves from people who might claim we treated them with prejudice, we don't get people's billing information until the end of their visit.)

Lastly, while the concept of centralized medicine of some sort sounds fabulous, we have to fund the program. We fund everything from taxes. Right now, our unemployment rate is astronomical. Very few people have taxes taken out of their unemployment. So how do we fund a program with no funds? I have seen the result of this during my stay in Canada. At the time that I was there, their unemployment rate was fairly high. The biggest problem I saw was that doctors can't earn the kind of income that they can in the States, so they leave Canada and go to the US. They had a lack of specialized physicians, specialized diagnostics, and specialized procedure. I saw people assigned to ER's as their primary physician. They have to send some patients out of country for specialized treatments.
 
I don't see an easy answer. I don't see a feasible difficult answer. Free market has kind of kicked our asses here, but do we solve it by giving government total and complete control of the health care market? That seems the only way to regulated it from the ground up, but American's are a bit anti-Communism...

A Day Of Firsts!

Today... Burp earned his FIRST 100%!!!!!

Which was rewarded with his FIRST 4 SCOOP BOWL OF ICE CREAM!!!

Talk Thursday: Simplicity

This is what I long for most in life. What seems the hardest to obtain.

Nothing is more relaxing than a good cup of inexpensive, yet environmentally-responsible, coffee brewed with a pinch of cinnamon and softened with a splash of my favorite white chocolate macadamia nut creamer lazily sipped as I snuggle in my chair engrossed in whichever book has captivated me for the moment. Unfortunately, one can't spend her entire life with her nose between the pages ignoring the rest of the world. Damn it!


I long for more good friendships, or maybe just fewer soul-sucking friendships that only seem viable when I'm the one offering support, advice, and comfort.

I long for the days when an impersonal, enlightening, intellectual conversation wasn't a rare occasion used only to spark an argument by someone in need of a little drama.

I long for some companions that are not so blinded by, or comfortable in the blankets of ignorance that they happily swaddle themselves in.

When I say, "No, at some point, when you weren't looking... Humanity evolved and left you in the dust..."
And they respond, "I don't believe in evolution.." That they could understand the double-edged stupidity of that statement. I wish I could stop being astounded by it.

For that matter, I miss having companions who could understand a not-so complex, thinly veiled insult when one was directed at them.

If I could live in simplicity, even for just a little while, it would be bottomless cups of coffee, good friends who call or stop by just to say "hi" or make to me laugh, maybe make me think a little. It would be great to have a regular, set, work schedule where I could just go to work and do my work and not have inter-personal dramas. Pay my bills without worry. I'd like to give my son everything he needs and a little of the stuff he just wants.

I don't ask for perfection, imperfection is what makes us value and appreciate life. I don't ask for overabundance, but a little breathing room would be nice. A period of smooth sailing, in which the only storms that crash and rage can be enjoyed from the dry side of a window.... would be greatly appreciated.

I feel like I've had a lot of crappy years, end on end... Maybe I'm whining, or being self absorbed, but I think I've had more than my fair share.

Maybe this is my year...

The Year of Simplicity.

Talk Thursday: Things That Make You Go "Hmmm?"

So I'm reading this book.. "This Will Change Everything" by John Brockman. In 1997 he started www.edge.org and invited the nation's top thinkers to join the group. He got together astrophysicists, molecular biologists, evolutionary biologists, computer scientists, neuroscientists, cognative scientists, mathematical physicists, quantum-mechanical engineers, scientists in fields I've never heard of, nor can I pronounce- and added a mix of M.D.s and psychologists, writer's and artists. His idea was to get these "thinkers" to ask each other the questions that they ask themselves.

Each year, on the anniversary of the formation of this group, he poses a question to them. They answer in a brief essay and he compiles those into a book. Last year's question was this:

WHAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING?

"What game-changing scientific ideas and 

developments do you expect to live to see?" 

 The replies have definitely offered some food for thought, some interesting... some just plain scary. Multiple entries talked about chips implanted in the brain for multiple purposes. One idea was that cell phones would become obsolete. Instead of dialing on a phone, we'll think of the person we want to call and "poof", we'll dial them up in our heads and think our conversations to them. Scary. How would you separate out what you want to say, and the random other thoughts you have? No more calling in sick when you aren't. The up side is that you'll never have to stay on the phone during a boring conversation anymore... of course, after a little while you won't have anymore friends. What about random sex thoughts? Trust me, you don't want to know the things that go on in my head.

 Speaking of which, another person suggested chip implants for telepathy. Every downfall I just mentioned, with no dialing. With that concept, it wouldn't just be the 50 friends, co-workers, and fellow Scout mom's in my address book that had access to my fucked up brain, but every random stranger too. On the flip-side, I don't want to be privy to the random thoughts of anyone else either. Well, I guess it could have a few benefits. Your kids would never be able to con you. You'd always know exactly where you stand in your personal relationships. Trust would become obsolete. Would lying become obsolete, as well? That would be an interesting development for humanity. What would that mean for us?

   On one hand, premeditated crimes would probably go down. Someone is sure to pick up on the thoughts of someone planning a crime, but then do we intervene and how do we do so? Do we punish people for thinking about committing a crime? No one would be able to lie to police or the courts anymore. What happens to pleading the 5th when our very thoughts can incriminate us? Forensic science would become an archaic practice. Would we need to prove guilt beyond the defendant's own thoughts of guilt or innocence?
  Potential child molesters and rapists could be found out before the crime was ever committed.
  Suicide rates would probably go down but our psych-ward populations would sky rocket. Mental illness wouldn't be able to hide any more. Would the ability to clearly read someone's thoughts help us diagnose and cure mental illness? Will we be able to deduct what makes a person tick and what is ticking off-kilter and will we develop the ability to "fix" it? If we can't cure them, will we just detect that someone isn't "right" and lock them away before they have the ability to act on their illness?
Interesting to contemplate.

Another idea presented several times is the great advancement in Artificial Intelligence and robotics... to a terrifying degree. It has been speculated that we will come so far in this advancement that the current debate of same-sex marriage will be a minor conflict of the past as people fall in love with, and petition for the right to marry their robotic companions.... What hope is there for human companionship when you can create a loved one, made to order, who is not just precisely to your specifications, but has the technology to grow with you? How many generations until humanity breeds itself out?
Follow me for a second. Initially, the people who don't create themselves a perfect spouse will have at least one of three reasons; financial, ethical, or moral. As the practice becomes more common, ethics and morals will change. I see that in a relatively short period of time the only people who wouldn't do this would be those who can't afford to, or those who don't for religious reasons. As time goes by, as with anything else, it will be less expensive to buy the technology. I hate to generalize here, but eventually it will get to the point that the people who can't afford to do so, will be the sub-par people. Meaning, those without the intellect or the drive to do well for themselves economically. Those will be our breeders. As time goes by, how long will it be before we as humans see that what we have created is better than what God did with us? How long until God becomes inferior and obsolete?
If you think the job market sucks now, think about what will happen when our "perfect" spouses assume a human life to enable a better, more authentic, connection with their spouse. Who would hire an inferior human when they have the ability to hire a "perfect" applicant?
 When we have the means to create ourselves the perfect spouse, what about then creating the perfect child? Would it be considered immoral to create a robot that is the perfect 7 year old, which can just be turned off when you have to go to work? or programmed to not need a babysitter? Could you keep it 7years old forever? When you no longer want to be a parent can you just recycle it? What if we develop the technology to allow these "children" to grow chronologically? How long would it be until we have a robot race and no more, or very few, humans?
Taking that prior thought a little further. If we grow "perfect" children chronologically, and develop them to leave the nest and strike out on their own, give them a synthetic love, will they be required to tell future companions that they are not human? I'm, in a way, drawing a comparison to those who go through gender-reassignment and the debate of moral obligation(?) in telling future companions. Some think that morally that information should be shared. Some strongly disagree. (I very much see both sides of that debate..)  But what if we're talking about not having to tell someone that you're a real person? Will we eventually get to the point when the concept of a "real person" is changed forever?

What happens when we become the endangered species? The Earth will become a happier, healthier place... I suppose it would be karma. With our technology, we have killed off so many species. It's a bitter funny, but our intellect might be the end of us.

Talk Thusday: REgressions

I've been struggling with Progressions... I don't feel very progressive these days.

The fact is... I was horribly mistaken about the extent of my relationship with the Plumber. Apparently, we are just really good friends who were briefly more affectionate than is normal. And I made assumptions. I made (I think, understandably) assumptions based on miss-intendedly misleading words and actions. That doesn't mean I wasn't heartbroken. Or embarrassed. Or a little shamed.

By nature, I am slow to trust. I am slow to open myself up to others in a way that gives them the opportunity to hurt me. Usually, I'm a fortress. That doesn't mean that I'm not affectionate with the people in my life... it just means I'm distrustful and not quick to let in newbies. I've always been that way to a certain extent. As a child, it was safer to kick someone's ass than let them see their words hurt me. It's hard to cry when you're throwing punches. Sometimes growing up sucks.. I wish it were socially acceptable for me to just kick the shit out of someone when I'm upset... somehow I know that would make me feel better. (Ok, not really... but kinda) With the Plumber, I tried to throw caution to the wind. Tried to break out of my old ways and fears and self defenses. Now I find myself wondering why.

Those things are there for a reason.

I know everyone has that little "voice in their head". Not in a schizophrenic way, just that voice... Mine speaks to me with my mother's voice.

It keeps saying, "If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.."

Why don't I listen to my mom more?

Nothing happened. We didn't fight. Just one day it was different. He says that he needs to focus on his kid and his career and he can't worry about the other things right now. He doesn't say that there won't be a "someday, down the road", but I don't ask either. He doesn't say that he doesn't feel that way about me, but again, I don't ask. He tells me I'm his best friend. That's something. Things have been a little awkward. He feels horrible for hurting me, I feel like an ass for letting myself get hurt.

I don't point out that in the little over a month he's lived with me that he's gotten his license back, paid off his fines, gotten a job, gone back to college, and that he now has his son 50% of the time.... Pointing that out seems pathetic and desperate and argumentative. It doesn't matter what his excuse is..If he doesn't want to "be with" me, then what's the point of showing him that with me he's achieved all that?

He's just as damaged as I am. Maybe a little more so. He doesn't communicate his emotions any better than I do. We're both pretty fucked up. He tries to talk to me, but his meaning is as clear as mud. I try to talk to him, but the words don't come out. So now we just pretend it isn't there.

We still have fun. I love being around him. I just wish things were still the way they were a few weeks ago.

I don't know if it's stress or the fact that it's hard to remember to take your birth control when you're not having sex... but I've had my period twice this month. I feel like my uterus is weeping for my broken heart.

I've never met anyone so perfect for me. We're enough alike to always be entertained, but different enough to never get boring. We're so sexually compatible that it scares me I'll never find that again. Good sex is still good, but when it's great... Ohhh my god, it's amazing.

I don't know where I am... I'm this big ball of confused disillusionment, self-pity, dysfunctional wanting, and bitterness. But, as we all know,

This too shall pass.

The Battle In Council Rock...

Some people think that I am one of those parents that shelter my child a little too much. Of course, being the one in question, I disagree. I try very hard to evaluate what my child is ready for and give him age/maturity appropriate information. It's not always an easy call. That said, he is 9... with Asperger's... so maturity wise, he is often more like a 7 year old, at best.

Today I read an article about the issues the Council Rock School District is having with the group PARE. Parents Active in Responsible Education is a group fighting the school district on the issue of the use of R-rated movies in high school classrooms.

Sure, initially, I was like... ok.. my kid can't see it in a theater without me, but he can see it at school?? Does this make sense? But then I investigated a little further.

The School District has a section on its website where you can view the entire list of 52 R-rated movies approved by the school district, see which class it will be used in, more specifically which teacher requested the use of it. For the teen to be able to see it, a parent or guardian MUST SIGN A PERMISSION SLIP.

PARE is saying that parents are bullied into signing the slip out of fear of embarrassing their children or kids are forging their signatures. Funny, but I don't remember parents being afraid to pull their Middle Schoolers out of sex ed when I was a kid or in high school when certain kids had to leave class when we talked about the theory of evolution.. Yeah, they were embarrassed, but their parents didn't give a crap.

The bottom line is, if you don't want your kid to see the movie, don't sign the paper. Call the school. Make sure the school knows how you feel. Don't block the other kids' chance at getting the message.

Viewing the list, there were several movies on it that I watched in my high school. I think that they were effective tools for giving concrete examples of the things that were taught in the text books. In psychology, we had to watch The Breakfast Club and do a report on social cliques and status in school. In that same class, we also had to watch Harold and Maude, which is not R-rated, and it disturbed me way more than the R-rated films. While we didn't watch it in school, we got extra credit in history if we went and saw Schindler's List, cuz yes, I'm that old. Our theater had a special viewing just for the high school kids.

There are several major advantages to using movies to aid education. One, study after study has proven that not everyone learns the same. Some kids just can't sit down with a book of Shakespeare, read it, and retain it. Two, there is a benefit to giving the pupils a visual scenario to apply to the text. Sometimes it takes a dramatization to make the jump and impact the lesson in the student's mind. Hell, they still use dramatizations on me at work when they make me watch that ethics crap and take tests on it. If they let me watch a real movie, instead of their crappy, campy, low-budget drivel... I might pay more attention.. even look forward to doing my education requirements.

This year the Council Rock School District cut some 20+ movies from their approved list. One of those movies was Kids. This makes me sad. I think this is an important movie that all kids should see, starting before high school. It's a movie about a teen whose number one goal is to devirginize as many girls as possible... one problem.. he has HIV. One girl who discovers that she contracted the virus from him tries desperately to warn his next victim.

What better way to teach young horny kids that you can't be too careful? That you can't trust every cute guy/girl with a pretty smile? And that people rarely do the right thing? I was an adult when I saw that movie.. and it still made an impact.

I was sad to see that Heathers wasn't on the list. I think every teen should see that movie. What better way to see what the evils of trying to fit in can bring.. as well as how easily a prank can get out of control?

Several years ago, I got in big trouble by my boyfriend at the time because I let his 12 year old daughter watch 8mm. Ok.. didn't "let" her watch it... highly encouraged and sat with her to watch it. This was a very naive girl who desperately wanted to be a model and didn't understand why her dad thought she was too young and didn't want her to have anything to do with it. After that movie, she understood.. still wanted to do it.. but understood. I, however, was in the dog house.

I just think it's important to remember that you can't shelter your child forever. In the right context, and the right environment, movies can have a great impact and can be a great teaching tool. I always use television as a learning tool, whether it's watching Man, Woman, Wild and telling my son you're not really dying of thirst unless you're willing to drink your own pee, or that starving to death means you'd eat a bug or a snake, or watching The World's Strictest Parents and showing him who he doesn't want to grow up to be or how bad he could really have it at home. Even Extreme Makeover: Home Edition shows him how good it feels to do something for someone else. I often use the news to show him things like "this is why we don't talk to strangers", "this is why we wear seatbelts", "this is why we never drink and drive", "this is why we don't mess with fire", or "guns".... The opportunity for teaching a valuable lesson is EVERYWHERE. It makes me sad to see people fighting such a valuable tool.

Oregon 3rd BABY!!!!

I wonder if Boise St cried a little this morning???

I smell ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSES!!!!

I Love My Ducks (Return of the Quack) - Supwitchugirl

282,298 views in 2 DAYS!!!! I'm not the only one who loves her Ducks!!!!